General Chat

I don't see how my view adds to the problem Newby. the question was ....

Is there ever a case when a man hits a woman that is acceptable?

Well in my mind, if you ask that question it means you accept that there could be and possibly someone will try & give a good reason for hitting a woman, when there isn't one.

To me it's like saying, is there a case where it is acceptable to abuse a child, again no there isn't.

It's how you see things, to me there is no point in discussing it, but I didn't say you shouldn't.

I'd rather see a thread saying you shouldn't hit anyone. I've never been hit by a man or a woman, but I know it happens, and I don't need to ask anyone if they think it acceptable, because if they said it was, you'd be giving them a platform to air there view, and I wouldn't want to see that.

To answer the OP,,,,,,,certainly not..... but it happens in domestic affairs , unless someone being phyically abused speaks out and seeks help it will continue,some fail at keeping out of harms way in the name of love.!! because they return to the same situation on empty promises.,,,,,,,perpetual domestic hitters are cunning,

a thumper of boozy Friday night isnt the same as a thumper in domestic violence.

Lynda..quote

'I'm not being funny, but I don't understand why anyone would ask such a question. Surely it doesn't need answering, we all know it isn't acceptable, don't we?'

No ..Lynda ..some don't

I think your view of this adds to the problem Lynda, but I do understand where you are coming from in a way..
No it's not acceptable ..violence mental/physical from male or female is wrong but a blanket ..no point discussing this is a bit like an ostrich sticking it's head in the sand and hoping everyone has the same self control and morals as you.
. it goes nowhere to solving a growing problem

As per DazedConfused.

The only other exception where I could "hit" anybody is in defence of a child, or in defence of someone with a severe learning difficulty where they could not defend themselves.

Apart from that, a big fat NO!

man or women
my motto is you can have the first hit and then ill give you what for
and you will not want to come back for more

My relationship lasted four months. He struck a mutual work colleague and tried to warn my work mates off as he thought we were too close these were people I had worked closely with 12 hours a day for two years before the relationship started. When warning them off didn't work he tried to hit one of them in the pub. He never laid a hand on me but the signs were there and so I walked away

I smacked my boss once.......... more than a smack, I punched him in the chest.

I had put up with his wandering hands for ages, finally had enough.

He never touched me again.

Thanks Ann

I now have a wonderful husband

Gins I feel for you but there are times when threads like this are needed because unless the likes of us stand proud and say we have been there and no more.other people might not have the bravery to say I can do that also.

Gins having being abused isn´t a shaming thing at all. STAND TALL and shout to the world that you came out of that tunnel- I know it isn´t easy sometimes it took me years to get over the day.mares. I once bailed out of a car just because the driver shot his arm out when he was breaking so I wouldn´t hit the windscreen. Lol I didn´t I hit the ground ! .and scared the life out of the driver.

Stand tall

how awful Gins :-(

I was driving my drunk ex back in the 1990's.....I lost my way through Derbyshire

He lost it with me, punched me so hard, I passed out at the wheel

He waited, until I came round and 'encouraged' me to drive home.....bast~rd

I'm not being funny, but I don't understand why anyone would ask such a question. Surely it doesn't need answering, we all know it isn't acceptable, don't we?

The only time it may be considered acceptable to 'slap' anyone is if they are hysterical, then a short sharp slap will bring them down.

Otherwise NO NO a thousand Time NO

We all hate men who hit women, but domestic violence of women against men is a hidden problem. Men are so embarassed by the situation they hardly/if ever report this to the police.

There is no contest, between a man and a woman

I was in intensive care due to my ex..........a real fooker

I hate, yes hate threads like this


Edit: Slapping is different from punching and kicking

Thats the problem abusers truely believe its not there fault,

Uzzi as you say it's never easy, I am just so thankful my son ( and everyone else too) managed to walk way.

My ex DIL was referred to Anger management, but she only went a couple of times, she did not think she had a problem.

Difficult from the outset as the natural reaction is to say NO Way. I personally have slapped another female and a male a reaction to them laying hands on me.

I have also been in a very abusive relationship. One which looking back on I can´t believe I allowed to go on for as long as it did. In fact looking back I can´t believe after the 1st "thump" which actually put me in hospital with a couple of broken ribs and concussion, ( and the only reason it wasn´t more is we were right outside a police station. :-S) I actually went back and allowed him to do it again and not just once. I was lucky my self esteem fought back and I was braver than he was with that.

I did have a mate once a male who was so beaten down by his wife he was scared to go home at times ..Now he was too scared to own up to what was happening because he was male and he thought nobody would believe him. Sadly he committed suicide.

There is no answer to a broad sweeping statement . But no it is not right for anybody to take their anger out on others whether that other is opposite sex, same sex, child or animal.
If you want to hit something either hit a wall or go to a boxing gym, either way go and seek anger management.


Verbal abuse is another subject and just as harming ..that is why children can commit suicide due to internet bullying.

A very difficult subject and I fear for some a very unhappy one, I wish all abused people could speak out and name their abusers as maybe this would stop the cowards amongst the abusers.

Well, I have been very fisty in the past, I can't deny it, especially when I had had a few.

I have had a black eye from a man who hit me BACK more as a reflex and I can't pretend I haven't deserved it, I had it coming. He was far more upset than I was.

More recently, much more recently, I was working in a social club when a little woman erupted at the steward. It was only because he had asked her to keep her child away from the bar but I think she was having major problems elsewhere. She was hurling abuse, hitting and kicking him in a frenzy.

He was a big man so he was in a strange position where he couldn't really touch her so just kept telling her she was banned.

All the other people were in shock and watching as it went on. As a big, strong woman I felt it my place to intervene so I went up behind her and quietly but firmly put my arm across her neck and held her back while talking to her calmly.

It worked, she calmed down and was about to leave quietly when the knowall woman came over and thought she would tell her exactly what the rules were at the club.

She was off again and two other women then led her out ranting and raving again.

I must have mellowed over the years because I didn't even shout at the bloody stupid woman who intervened!

I think this is what happened to the woman in the drama Island......she kept trying to get out.....knew she should, did at one time but was mentally and physically exhausted......

Paula, I agree .. it's not always the man that shows aggression.
My eldest son lived with a girl that developed a huge Ketamine addiction .. eventually he had to walk away from the relationship as her violence and mental health got worse and worse..
At first he felt so guilty for walking away ..but he's a different person now ...I'm really proud of him
xxx