General Chat

I haven't had to look after my parents.
Dad had lymphoma, discovered after over of 2 years, despite having his spleen removed over 7 years before, no-one had checked it for cancer. Rather than look for cancer, they were looking for HIV, as, years before, he had lived in Nigeria, and had had a Nigerian wife!

A Brain tumour soon developed, and this killed him within 3 months.

Mum would have wanted to live with/near to my sister, she/we were making arrangements for her to move to UK from Portugal permanently, but a reaction to the gout drugs she was taking led to her sudden death on 22 December 2012.

I just hope I go quickly. I don't want either of my children to have to look after me. I love them both, and my grandchildren, dearly, and we tell each other how much we love each other all the time. Just in case. :-D

I will have to change the songs to be played at my funeral, as, apart from '3 little birds' by Bob Marley (my choice), and 'Ding Dong the witch is dead' (their choice, aged 14 & 12), the other one was Rolf Harris, singing 'Stairway to Heaven' (cos they hated it). I may have to have the original, but it's far to 'moody', or find another song they hate.


I know - 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' :-D

Maggie, I can just imagine the looks on faces as 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' strikes up :-D

There is a Clancy Brothers track that I quite fancy for my funeral. It's called "Isn't It Grand Boys (To Be Bloody Well Dead).

Dad had mesothelioma and died in his own room looking over a lake as he always declared he would
He Even had a surrounding deck put on to aid in his exit
He went into heart failure in the January of 2012 and he was frightened of his breathlessness
He died in the May
Mum could not cope so I stopped work and the kids and I moved in
My 2 sisters then took turns to fly in from Australia so we did a week each at a time
It was hard in some ways as I provided all the medical care for him drug administration drains etc but I know when my daughter sister and I watched him take his last breath he was pain free and comfortable
And sad as it was watching the undertaker wheel him across his deck I felt proud
He was washed and in his new pjs at home by my husband sister and I so all his grandchildren and great grandchildren got to see him while he was still warm and peaceful
It helped all of the kids come to terms with his death and they still talk about it now

l'm doing what l can for my sister who has vascular dementia/altzheimers and its bloody hard. l'm about 5/10 mins drive from her which is handy incase of emergencies.
Some weeks l see her everyday, others once or twice. l often get upto 6 phone calls a day, some with her saying she wants to commit suicide. l try to get her out of the panic by talking about angels which she loves, that did work for a while but not now.

Off now to take her to the dentist.
jude

I have always wondered why people wash somebody who dies but thought I might understand if I went through it myself.

Not so.I had no desire to wash Fred and I still don't understand.

Having said that, I watched him leave, so to speak, and as far as I was concerned, Fred was gone. What the paramedics flung on the floor and worked on was the empty container that he had once been in.

It was surprisingly comfortable. His body was on the bed for three hours while I was at home alone waiting for the others to come back and the undertaker to come and it was just so normal. I didn't want to talk to him or do anything to him, just toget on with what needed doing but it was just so not spooky.

Both my parents have now passed. I would loved have had the chance to look after them in their old age. <3 <3 <3

Paula.....my husband feels the same way, he looked on my parents as his second chance of being a son .xx

Tania, I feel proud of what I did for my parents aswell, not in a way of saying how wonderful I was, it's just knowing I did all I could, it is a very satisfying feeling isn't it :-)

You're doing a great job for your sister Jude :-)

You did good Sharron :-)

Paula, somehow i'm sure they know that :-)