General Chat

Because it was the lads last night and they have an early flight in the morning I did them a lavish BBQ, My nephew went out at 4,30 with my consent to say his farewells with the promise that he would be back before 7pm
They came back at 7.45 ate the food I cooked, got changed and went out again to say his farewells ..after a stand off with me saying the flat had to be sorted tonight. He promised to be home by midnight. I always thought midnight was 12.
Hubby says let it go (he is asleep and doesn´t know midnight has moved ).
I am annoyed with the disrespect that I think this blatant lie is or am I being too fussy ?

I would feel the same as you do. No doubt they will want to come to stay again next year when you can say No because you didn't stick by your promises on your last night or Yes but if you you don't play by the rules this will be the last time.

Tenerife 2 of them have stayed in because they have an early flight in the morning. It´s my nephew who is blantantly (is that a word) It´s my nephew who is disrespecting my rules .I could be so tempted to say thats it but OH wouln´t

Hi Uzzi,

I really think your nephew is taking the mickey, and because he knows he won't get barred he will carry on this way. He needs to learn respect so should be told one more chance and that's it! At least his friends have better manners, did they do any cleaning up?

Bet you will heave a big sigh of relief when they get that plane lol

Lizxx

Well the lads are on their way home, Yes Liz they did do some cleaning up and I guess it´s the best I can expect. It´s a complete and utter tip but it´s sort of clean.
I am still annoyed this morning and nephew can´t understand why !!! His words when I asked what time he got in was " well we are up aren´t we" .
Words fail me. he spent a couple of days saying he wants to come back out in a couple of months to spend time with me and OH. Yea right couldn´t be bothered last night even though I spent most the day prepping to give them a special meal. I shouldn´t have bothered as far as nephew was concerned I could have throw a sausage on coals and a bag of crisps in a tub.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I will have the last laugh mind as his Mum is out on Saturday ( last minute flight) to help fumigate the flat.

I know I shouldn´t let t get to me as OH says what did I expect they are 17yr old kn*bh**ds. but as I told him I don´t care about age, I wouldn´t care about him going out if he had said "don´t worry about cooking we are going out" Simple really

*steam coming out of ears* . oh fiddle I am annoying myself now.
:-D

'Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were'.

Dermot how true, but I am not sure that it relates to family ..I am looking in the hospitality book to try and find a clause that states you can slap a nephew around the head.

NOT ONLY YOUNGSTERS ABUSE YOUR HOSPITALITY,
TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO WE HAD A STATIC CARAVAN
WE USED TO LET FAMILY USE IT FOR FREE FRIENDS OF FAMILY
TWENTY POUNDS A WEEK,ONE TIME OH'S COUSIN USED IT FOR A WEEK
BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WAS USING IT A FEW DAYS LATER
WE WENT DOWN TO PUT FRESH SHEETS OUT,WHAT A SHOCK HE HAD A FIVE YEAR OLD WITH HIM ,BUT HIS WIFE MUST HAVE BEEN SO LAZY,
THE CEILING OF THE VAN HAD FELT TIP PEN ALL OVER IT,SINK FULL OF
WASHING UP .AND TO FINISH IT OFF THEY USED THE PLASTIC SINK
TO STUB THEIR CIGGARETT'S ,ONE RUINED SINK FULL OF HOLES AND BOY ARE THEY EXPENSIVE,NEVER LET HIM USE IT AGAIN.

I would feel the same as you did.

He is just taaking the pee as he thinks he will be able to come out again...(((Sorry Not until you realise that house rules are to be stuck to and What I say goes for you and your mates))

Iwould have clipped him round the head in front of his mates.

When he asked what the clip was for""just to let you know I AM IN CHARGE""""

Uzzi, why are you surprised? Last year should have told you what would happen this year. I thought he was older than 17 this year. Not good enough though. I would have other plans prepared next time he asks. Sounds as if he is spoilt at home. <3

Next time just say NO and mean it.

Dont go too mad cleaning up in this heat . do a but at a time,

Mary xx

iv been reading thread bless them

you can have my boys stay if you like
thay dont touch any think in case thay have to put away and clean
so i get nice tidy bed rooms from them

Ann he is 18 next month and you are right last year should have taught me what he is like. I had hoped and honestly believed that a years growing up had showed on him.

He isn't and never has been spoilt at home often his Mum has wanted to give him away. I have seen her at her wits end over him, I have watched her cry, scream and laugh, She moved areas just so she could get some help for her son, she put her own daughter on the at risk register so she could some help. His father walked away when he was young because he couldn't cope and even now is as much use as a chocolate fireguard. He has never paid a penny towards his childrens up keep but is about saying I love you. Meanwhile Mum bless her has gritted her teeth got a second job so they can have holidays with Uncle and never said a word.of complaint .
He has ADHD and whilst I understand it I have also told him to get over it, learn to live with it and don't use it as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in his life. He knew that this year I wouldn't tolerate that as an excuse for anything. Unfortunately his uncle will still make that allowance. So I or he actually did make things a little iffy between me and OH for a little while. Not something that I am used to or happy with.

Hence the reason I asked am I right to get annoyed, hubby says No get over it and I will but although he understands what I am saying he disagrees with me.
We have never been in this situation before and I know his love for me will win in the end but I fear the cost.

Mary trust me the cleaning is sorted I shall change the beds tomorrow and Saturday his Mum arrives out here, and she has given me strict instructions not to touch the flat she will clean it before daughter arrives on Tuesday. So I shall go and pick all the rubbish and smelly stuff up and then take her at her word. :-D

Dame I didn't expect tidy from them and that is not my upset but yes your boys would be welome.

Dizzi I know it's not just knobs of 17&18 that leave mess it's not the mess I am upset about, the flat's not that bad.

You are in a difficult situation Uzzi. Maybe if he comes again say to T that he is responsible for him, not you and he is also responsible for sorting out the flat afterwards. Then, shut your ears, sit back and ignore it all. :-D

I would imagine surely that his mother will have something to say to him - one does not expect the expense of a flight to Spain to clear up after a 17 yr old.

It is possible that both you and she agree on no return visits until he learns respect etc.

Me - well I would ban him - you had your chance and blew it my lad.

Sorry you have had problems over this lad's stay Uzzi, maybe his Mum will agree with you and not let your o.h. be so soft with him again. Really your o.h. should have spoken out at the time when he was disrespecting you but don't want to stir up trouble lol

I would just strip the beds and leave to air till his Mum comes and you get the falt clean, then you can remake the beds for Tuesday. Sounds as tho his Mum needs a holiday more than that lad of hers, she has had the worry of him all this while and must be sad and disappointed that he has been such a pain. Were any of his pals better than he and more appreciative? If so maybe they will have a word with him and suggest he has blown a chance for them all to have a break.

Anyway if he comes again you will know what to do, make no effort at all like barbecues etc but ask for damage deposits from each lad ,to be refunded at the end oif the place is left in a better state. Then if he doesn't make an effort his mates will push him to, so they get their cash back.


Lizxxx

I think teenagers these days are a lot different from my days 30 to 40 years ago....No real respect for anyone or anything

My youngest is the same age and has just got back from a girlie holiday in Spain....from what I have seen mentioned they spent most of their time drinking and partying....something they cannot do in England for a few more months.

No adult supervision which is probably a good thing as midnight would have been too early for them. I am also surprised they actually got on the plane with what she posted they had drunk before the flight.

I remember at the same age going Italy with a friend and yes we went to the disco's as they were then, and drank (but had been doing that since 14 anyway) I don't remember being drunk at anytime