General Chat

This letter was posted in my local paper today.

I placed a notice in the News shortly after my mother died in early July to inform friends and neighbours of details of time and place of her funeral.
Family and close friends attended and carers who had been involved with looking after mum.
They all said their goodbyes to me and my husband after the service .
At the end of the line was a young women who l did not recognise approached and said she was researching her family history and wondered if she might be related to my mother ?
Her surname was similar to our family name but not identical .
I felt that this was a most insensitive intrusion into a very private and sad occasion.
Please l beg you, if you are seeking family tree connections, do not intrude on a familys grief in such a way.
It creates more distress for those who have lost a love one

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I really think this person didn't think of the distress they caused and just thought l'd share it with you.

It is true Mummo, some people get so engrossed in 'searching' that they don't stop to think. However, I am pretty sure that people on here wouldn't be so insensitive. Or I hope they wouldn't. A timely reminder though to think first. :-)

Poor girl

As said we often get a bit over enthusiastic.

She really did not pick an appropriate time .....

When OH's much loved aunt died, we were staying in her house while we informed everyone and arranged the funeral etc.

Among all the friends and neighbours calling to offer their condolences was one woman who said she supposed the house would now be put on the market and could she have first refusal! :-| :-|

OH politely told her that it wasn't on the market, and then told me what he really wanted to say - it's not repeatable on here.

At MIL's wake, her niece asked OH for the fridge/washing machine and cooker.

He only curtailed himself as others were present.

some people!

We got back to my mother's house from the hospital where she died. Sis-in-law, disappeared for a while, then came out of mum's bedroom and said "looks like I've scored some shoes".

I'll never forget that, or forgive the cold-hearted b!tch.

:-(

When my gran went into a home, mum, my sister & I were clearing her house. I was taking grans clothes home (on a train), washing and ironing them, and taking them back, prior to taking the 'best' (she was a bit of a hoarder) to her. An aunt turned up, went through gran's clothes and tried to take the best, as she'd 'put on weight, and they'd fit her'.
Gran wasn't even dead! :-|
This woman also took a fancy to one of gran's handbags and walked off with it. She never returned gran's reading glasses that were in it.

Suffice to say, in our childhood, we'd never had much contact with this woman.

I am shocked at what I have just read. Some people are unbelievable. :-0

My sis-in-law was just the start of it.

It got worse, much worse.

I walked away and left them to it.

I used to have 4 brothers, I now say I have only one, I have nothing to do with the other three, they showed their true colours.

:-(

it is possible, I suppose that the person in the OP thought that that might be the only way of contacting the family..???and might not be able to find them later?

Bob

When our mum died we all agreed that sorting out the house would wait till after her funeral .

The house was rented and had been so since 1912 when mum was 3 years old .she took over the tenancy when her mum died

Rent still had to be paid but we all agreed to chip in to pay this till we could all meet up and decide how and what we needed to keep and discard

We were all very angry to find a sister who lived the nearest had gained access before the funeral and removed furniture that she wanted or thought her daughter who was setting up home could use . She even took things that weren't mums but that had been loaned so mum could be more comfy

Scavenging. I call it .

I hated going to the house to sort . I really didn't want anything other than the return of heater I had loaned mum and sister had taken

Still gets me when I think of it. it's like picking over bones .
:-(

I would NEVER have gone to a private funeral or to family house to inquire on ancestry that is really too insensitive to my mind