General Chat

Even more effective would be to phone him or knock at the presbytery door! :-)

If at some future date your hubby did have to have a spell in hospital always ask the nursing staff for the chaplain. In my experience they are always there for you and promptly too. Sometimes, if the right denomination one isn't immediately available they can, if the patient is agreeable, send any of them for the time being. They work as a team and pass the name on for when the other is back on duty. YiC <3

Why can't you pick him up where you drop him off? There must be a slip road where you can then turn round to get on the other side to go home?

I am not a regular church goer, but the local RC priest is a familiar figure round the village and so is the minister from the kirk.

I agree with the others - the reaction from your priest is not exactly Christian. :-| :-|

I would go to the church and pick up one of their leaflets.
It's should contain various numbers that you can call.

I know that when my mum couldn't get to mass, members of the church, SVDP etc often called at the house to see if she needed assistance, and gave her communion at home

Sorry for late reply we have been for our monthly chiro today

I can't pick him up from where I drop him off as its a dual carriageway with an island in the road quite near to the church , it's yellow lines no parking so I can't wait for him to come out of church as the times vary each time.

I am naughty and stop outside the church to let him out of the car anyway

Local roads on the same side are one way


I usually park in a road on the other side off the dual carriageway and wait for him. It means he has to cross at the island which he has been managing but now his balance so off he can't walk safely on his own to get to the car

It's the busy A2 dual carriageway

You could try contacting the Bishop & without laying blame, explain the problem & ask him if there is any particular priest in the area who is responsible for pastoral care.
Hopefully he will be able to read between the lines, but it would be awful to have a visit from a resentful priest.

A friend of ours used to go to mass every Sunday all his life. a while ago he suffered a mental breakdown & ended up in hospital. He was sent home to cope alone, with no support & having no family, which the church was very aware of, doesn´t seem to have had any help at all from either the clergy nor the congregation.We non church going friends tried to be supportive, but it was an uphill struggle.
He struggled on for a few weeks & eventually committed suicide.
The church was packed at his funeral, but where were all these people when he needed a bit of TLC.
So much for the Christian ethic.

This happened in Spain where there is no welfare state to help such people.

Shirley,

someone who goes to the church and knows your husband is a pretty regular and could see him across the road to your car,,,,,,?maybe the priest can ask the congregation or may know of somebody who could assist,,,,,?

Priests usually know when a member of their regular flock hasnt been to church, surely.

Kay

The problem now is he cant walk far as his body dementia means he will fall over .

I could park and go over the road to escort him back to the car but he just cant walk even that short distance now .

He is a very quiet man who maybe hasnt made himself known .he did use to talk to a family there at one time who alway gave him an Xmas card but they moved away some time ago.

I dont think anyone has missed him which is sad.

Email was sent Wednesday evening NO reply as yet !!

If there is a large congregation then, sadly, that may well be the case Shirley.

There are lots of people who come to church and do not get involved in the life of the church for various personal reasons - they simply want to keep themselves to themselves. They come in................they go out.

This, in turn, makes it difficult to get to know them as you don't want to force yourself on them. It also makes it difficult when they are missing. but I would think someone will have said......"I wonder where that elderly chap is who usually sits over there?" They simply may not know his name nor where he lives.

I have always welcomed people into church and have known a lot about most of them and known how to contact them if they have been missing, but there have always those who chose to remain 'anonymous'. That must be respected.

In fairness to the priest, I think a phone call is in order....giving him full details and a chance to redeem himself as he is not clairvoyant. You will then know the situation first hand.


So often, folk expect people who go to church to be perfect, but we're not. I love the old saying, 'Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.'


Cx

Shirley,
I would also phone the church house, even if you only get to speak to the housekeeper who will pass a message on
I forgot to say that I do understand the meanining in your OP.
Sacraments are important to your OH and the parish priest needs to know this.

Also sounds as if your OH should have a Blue Badge - then you can park on double yellow lines.

I'm really surprised. Normally at Sunday Mass there are layman folk that receive the Sacrament during Mass and then proceed to the homes of the sick and elderly. I always thought that it was a given that one only had to ask.

I guess as in every walk, some priests are possibly to lazy(?) to organise this efficiently. I am surprised, but then I've been shocked at much I've read about the Church in recent years. Very sad. I hope your husband gets the Sacrament each week as he justly deserves. God bless him.

SOOO got a bit peed off with no response so emailed again to the lady who was listed on the website as in charge of pastoral needs

Got and immediate response and followed by a phone call

She knew Michael and was aware he was looking frail but although she knew his street address she didnt have house number ,She had wondered where he was and if he was OK

She wanted to come to ours to talk to us and was so pleased i had emailed cos she had worried where he was . she even asked the priest who is at the local hospital to look out for him in case .

She arranged to come to ours yesterday afternoon which she did

She said the parish priest has been home in Ghana for 5 weeks and was due back that day

Afraid my office training did step in and I said whoever opened the email should have replied saying that thanks for your contact and we will get back to you when the priest is here . We thought we were being ignored yet again. She agreed

Coincidentally some 10 mins after she rang so did the parish priest . he said he had only just got back and daughters email was in his papers. He is coming too to see Michael

Daughter too after he rang me also rang him and was told he was aware and would be coming to see OH

My concern was that I know how important the church is to OH and if anything happened to him and he hadnt been up to date with the umbrella of his church then that would be devastating for him in his last hours :-|

So hopefully we are getting some support now . they have even suggested they reserve a drop off /pick up point outside the church starting Sunday week so he can get to church , If this doesnt work out then home visits will be arranged

So the lesson is communication/communication /communication as folks aint mind readers

That is really good news for you both. I am pleased it has worked out well for you <3

Great news Shirley. So pleased for you and especially your husband. xx

Brilliant :-)

I'm really pleased for you and your family Shirley.
I knew there had to be a reason for the non response from the parish priest. :-D

Dear Shirley

Hello

I am very pleased that things have worked out.


Take gentle care
With best wishes to you and your husband
Elizabeth,
xx

Shirley, I am glad your perseverance paid off and hope your husband will feel better for the visits he has had and are to come. I am sure as long as is possible he will feel more included if he can get to church but it's good to know he was missed and home visits can be made if needed.

My late Mum had visits from her vicar to give her communion which pleased her, she was sometimes picked up and taken to church until she got too poorly so a midweek visit for communion and a chat was nice for her and broke up her week.

I hope this support will continue as long as your husband, and you, need it and that your hubby will be strong enough to keep fighting on.

Lizx

It is also good that people in the church now realise that they need to be a bit more vigilant about things like this, not only in your husband's case, but any others in the same situation.