General Chat

Also sounds as if your OH should have a Blue Badge - then you can park on double yellow lines.

Shirley,
I would also phone the church house, even if you only get to speak to the housekeeper who will pass a message on
I forgot to say that I do understand the meanining in your OP.
Sacraments are important to your OH and the parish priest needs to know this.

If there is a large congregation then, sadly, that may well be the case Shirley.

There are lots of people who come to church and do not get involved in the life of the church for various personal reasons - they simply want to keep themselves to themselves. They come in................they go out.

This, in turn, makes it difficult to get to know them as you don't want to force yourself on them. It also makes it difficult when they are missing. but I would think someone will have said......"I wonder where that elderly chap is who usually sits over there?" They simply may not know his name nor where he lives.

I have always welcomed people into church and have known a lot about most of them and known how to contact them if they have been missing, but there have always those who chose to remain 'anonymous'. That must be respected.

In fairness to the priest, I think a phone call is in order....giving him full details and a chance to redeem himself as he is not clairvoyant. You will then know the situation first hand.


So often, folk expect people who go to church to be perfect, but we're not. I love the old saying, 'Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.'


Cx

Kay

The problem now is he cant walk far as his body dementia means he will fall over .

I could park and go over the road to escort him back to the car but he just cant walk even that short distance now .

He is a very quiet man who maybe hasnt made himself known .he did use to talk to a family there at one time who alway gave him an Xmas card but they moved away some time ago.

I dont think anyone has missed him which is sad.

Email was sent Wednesday evening NO reply as yet !!

Shirley,

someone who goes to the church and knows your husband is a pretty regular and could see him across the road to your car,,,,,,?maybe the priest can ask the congregation or may know of somebody who could assist,,,,,?

Priests usually know when a member of their regular flock hasnt been to church, surely.

You could try contacting the Bishop & without laying blame, explain the problem & ask him if there is any particular priest in the area who is responsible for pastoral care.
Hopefully he will be able to read between the lines, but it would be awful to have a visit from a resentful priest.

A friend of ours used to go to mass every Sunday all his life. a while ago he suffered a mental breakdown & ended up in hospital. He was sent home to cope alone, with no support & having no family, which the church was very aware of, doesn´t seem to have had any help at all from either the clergy nor the congregation.We non church going friends tried to be supportive, but it was an uphill struggle.
He struggled on for a few weeks & eventually committed suicide.
The church was packed at his funeral, but where were all these people when he needed a bit of TLC.
So much for the Christian ethic.

This happened in Spain where there is no welfare state to help such people.

Sorry for late reply we have been for our monthly chiro today

I can't pick him up from where I drop him off as its a dual carriageway with an island in the road quite near to the church , it's yellow lines no parking so I can't wait for him to come out of church as the times vary each time.

I am naughty and stop outside the church to let him out of the car anyway

Local roads on the same side are one way


I usually park in a road on the other side off the dual carriageway and wait for him. It means he has to cross at the island which he has been managing but now his balance so off he can't walk safely on his own to get to the car

It's the busy A2 dual carriageway

I would go to the church and pick up one of their leaflets.
It's should contain various numbers that you can call.

I know that when my mum couldn't get to mass, members of the church, SVDP etc often called at the house to see if she needed assistance, and gave her communion at home

Why can't you pick him up where you drop him off? There must be a slip road where you can then turn round to get on the other side to go home?

I am not a regular church goer, but the local RC priest is a familiar figure round the village and so is the minister from the kirk.

I agree with the others - the reaction from your priest is not exactly Christian. :-| :-|

If at some future date your hubby did have to have a spell in hospital always ask the nursing staff for the chaplain. In my experience they are always there for you and promptly too. Sometimes, if the right denomination one isn't immediately available they can, if the patient is agreeable, send any of them for the time being. They work as a team and pass the name on for when the other is back on duty. YiC <3

Even more effective would be to phone him or knock at the presbytery door! :-)

Might be worth dropping the priest a quick line if you have a postal address for him, just in case it was the wrong email address or he has missed your email if he gets a lot of them.

Its a disgrace that they are acting like this towards your OH. Perhaps if you Emailed the Pope at the Vatican he may kick someones butt and remind them of their duty.**M**

The RC church my mom attended were so good / they arranged for her to be collected and bought back. The priest and nun visited her when she was in the home too.
Hope you get a good response Shirley.

Mary

Shirley have a word with Age-uk in your area,,,,they maybe have someone who could assist in getting husband there and back to mass,while you persue the other matter.

I'm disgusted by this.

Mum and Dad were both C of e and the vicar and the congregation were wonderful when they were slowing down or ill.

It's the priest's job - complain to the bishop.

I would advise the same as Susan Wiv. It is a priests duty to adminster to the sick and disabled. I will say my local priest is an absolute Gem.

We haven't been refused just been completely ignored.

I put a written request into the church and it's been met with complete silence

Our daughter has now emailed them so will wait a while to see if we get any contact

Scozz, it may have been somebody 'higher' up or written into something or other about the raffles. I was brought up a Baptist and we were not allowed to have raffles or anything similar on the church premises, nothing to do with the minister. (My mother never bought a raffle ticket in her life.)

Shirley, do you have contact at all with anybody else who attends the church your husband attended? If so could you speak to them and ask them what you should do. I find it very strange that the priest has refused to visit. I don't know anything about the R Catholic church but I feel there must be somebody above that priest who you could approach. Not that I would feel happy about him being visited by somebody who didn't think enough of his faith to do it without being told. It makes a mockery of his (The priest's) religious faith).

Hi Shirley. I was so very sorry to hear this and sadly, even as a practising Christian, I am not completely surprised.

We are from a generation where the local vicar/priest was regularly seen on the streets of his parish - he knew his people and his people knew him. They were available 24/7, and responded to cries for assistance and support.

Whilst there are still some of that ilk around (our late lamented vicar was such a man), I hear more and more tales of clergy who are unavailable except between the hours of 9-5 and who rarely return telephone calls and emails. They certainly don't receive the training they used and seem to ignore the fact that they have a pastoral responsibility and duty towards their parishioners. (The noise you can hear, is me tearing my hair out!)

Many churches offer home communion to parishioners who are no longer able to attend church - have you actually spoken to the priest, or just put some feelers out?
Is the email address up-to-date I wonder? If the priest refuses, point blank to visit, then I would suggest you contact the diocesan office and ask for their advice.

I wouldn't suggest contacting other priests at the moment as they are each responsible for their own parish - there are certain rules and guidelines about overstepping the mark in someone else's parish.

I understand that you have a lot on your plate so, if you would like to pm me the name of the church, I will gladly do the research on the best person for you to contact.

Hope it all gets sorted out very soon as I completely understand how much this must mean to your husband.

Cx.