General Chat

For Dermot

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes in here.” The rope walks outside, ties a knot in the middle of his body, brushes out the strands at the bottom and heads back into the bar. The bartender says, “Aren’t you the rope I just threw out of here?” The rope replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

:-) :-) :-)

A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here!”

A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says to them, “I’ll serve you two, but don’t start anything.”

A pony walks into a bar and whispers to the bartender, “Can I have a beer?” The bartender replies, “Sure, but why are you whispering?” The pony answers, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little hoarse.”

Two cannibals were sitting in a bar having drinks and munching on a clown. One cannibal says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."!

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:-D :-D :-D :-D