General Chat

I have a problem with old ladies in baker's shops.

Several times, when I have been waiting my turn in the queue, old ladies have pushed in front of me.

I feel that it is not possible that they have not noticed my presence as I am clearly visible to the naked eye and take up a good deal of space.

One was so skilled at the task that she made it look like she was a very nice patient lady and would, of course, wait EVEN longer for her turn when I pointed out that I had actually been standing at the counter when she came in.

when I left the shop I noticed that she had left a man outside in a wheelchair. Now, I am the kind of fool who would have let her have my turn had she not pushed straight in simply because she had him there.

Having a disabled person to care for might well entitle you to a few concessions but ignorance doesn't!

I live in a coastal retirement area and don't experience bad manners a lot.

There are times ,especially during the holiday season,when our area gets more families around and I do notice that a lot of parents with young children let their children really scream if they can't get what they want in a store.

If mine had done that....which I don't think they ever did,maybe because we didn't have such big supermarkets,but I would have not let them get their own way.

It is nice here,even yesterday I was in a lift to shopping area and an elderly gentleman held the door for me and let me out first .I experience this often as it was a natural thing to do,as it was always done in the old days with men walking on the outside and raising their hat to you.

I also don't like some of the eating habits........maybe I'm getting a grumpy old woman,but standards have certainly deteriorated and everything seems more "laid back" as they say today! :-S

My son now 32 was driving through a town, stuck in traffic and saw a woman carrying 3 bags of shopping one of the bags broke and she was struggling with it all, he got out and offered her a lift, it took a few seconds because she was unsure of trusting him anyway gave in, he put her bags in the car, took her home and put her shopping in her hallway, she said thank you and that he is a kind young man.
He continued with his journey, and was only about 15 minutes late for work.

I'm not sure if manners are any better or worse than they always have been. I think people from all generations can be bad mannered.

Around here it's elderly people who shoulder charge their way to the front of bus queues as soon as one appears. They then expect to sit at the front and have a seat for themselves and a seat for their shopping. They don't move even for young mums struggling with babies and pushchairs unless the driver says something.

I hate to see children running around pubs. The type of parent who allows this is the type of parent who would threaten to sue if a waiter dropped hot food on the little darlings.

I think Sharron has hit the nail on the head. We aren't born having good manners, we are taught - usually by our parents. However, it's a generation thing.....if our parents weren't taught.......then neither are we unless we pick things up as we go along.


I remember reading about Lord Sugar a long time ago. Apparently, it seems as though he was never taught to even say 'please' or 'thank you' - he had to learn the hard way as he went through life.


One of my main bugbears is table manners. I simply cannot stand to watch people shovelling food into their mouths like primitive hunters and then allowing us to view the contents of their mouths as they chew. Arrghh.


I had a quick google and found this advice from Debretts.....

A knife should be held firmly in your right hand, with the handle tucked into your palm, your thumb down one side of the handle and your index finger along the top (but never touching the top of the blade). It should never be eaten off or held like a pencil.


When used with a knife or spoon, the fork should be held in the left hand, in much the same way as the knife, with the prongs facing downwards. On its own, it is held in the right hand, with the prongs facing upwards, resting on the fingers and secured with the thumb and index finger.


A spoon is held in the right hand, resting on the fingers and secured with the thumb and index finger. Food should be eaten off the side of the spoon; it should never be used at a right angle to the mouth.


When eating, bring the fork or spoon to the mouth, rather than lowering the head towards the food. Bring the food promptly to the mouth and do not gesticulate with the knife and fork.


Cutlery should be rested on the plate/bowl between bites, and placed together in the bottom-centre when you are finished.


Never gesture with your cutlery, and don't scrape or clatter it noisily against your plate or bowl.


Equally, it is bad manners to loudly clank your utensils against your teeth.



So now we know :-D

Question for the ladies........... and I'd like the gentlemen's opinions too

How often have you been waiting for service (shop, bar, whatever), and a male comes up and stands at the counter........... the staff are busy...... then they head in your direction and ask the man what he wants?

Sometimes..... not often..... the man will say that I was there before him.

I used to just seethe, now I say loudly "EXCUSE ME, I was here first"

Women usually (unless they are horrible) point out that someone else should be served first.

On a long train journey recently, I sat at a table for 4 people.
My seat was reserved in advance
A young mum with 2 young children had booked and paid to reserve the other 3 seats.

Some way along the line, a train had failed and all the passengers were transferred onto ours.
all the available seats filled and some people had to stand.

One middle aged woman without a seat, made no bones that the young mother at my table should seat one child on her lap and let HER have his seat.
It's only good manners after all !

The young mother felt that she had no option and sat the child on her knee.

About 20 minutes up the track, the vast majority of extra passengers got off the train leaving loads of empty seats dotted around the carriage

I was inwardly seething, because that woman sat in the child's seat for the next hour and a half , all the way to the final destination.

I really wanted to say something but.... I didn't, neither did the young mum.

Where were this woman's manners?

Agree, Sharron.
My children, and therefore grandchildren are taught that there are different behaviours in different situations. Even their (grandchildren's)behaviour with me is different to their behaviour with their mother, and other grandparents (they prefer being with their mum first, me second - not that I'm claiming one- upmanship :-D) Yes I am :-D

I will react to their behaviour in a different way to anyone else - and they should know their/my limits. No bad thing - that's life!!!

I was on a train a few years ago and there was a woman holding a small child, looked like it might have been her grandchild. She was having to stand because there were no available seats.

Two lads, about twelve to fourteen I would say, were sitting on seats;

They were perfectly well behaved and polite boys but I honestly don't think they had ever experienced the concept of offering their seats because I think they would have done so had they known.

Children don't have the capacity to think of everything, they need to be shown.

Those children behaving badly in pubs and public places don't know what they are expected to do. They need to be shown and have things explained to them.

I'm with you Karen and Suemaid about little ones treating cafes and restaurants as playgrounds to race around in. Little fingers rifling through the knives and forks and dropping them on the floor then putting them back in the trays. I've seen them sneezing all over the food in 'help yourself' counters too, picking cream etc off cakes, while their mothers are oblivious. Standing on the chairs and sitting on tables where people eat. Why do parents have to talk at the tops of their voices as well.....no wonder their children shout.

Why do people congregate in supermarket entrances to natter to their friends?
Why do people drive into carparks, then stop dead and cause a jam while they consider all the parking spaces?
Why do women stand in gangways with a big bag on their shoulder poking behind them blocking the gangway?
Why (particularly men) do they swing a leg up behind them when they bend to pick something off a shelf and nearly trip you up?
Why do people say 'excuse me' like an order for you to move out of their way and without a 'please' anymore or a 'thank you' when you do move?

I think what it boils down to is a heightened self importance and/or a complete lack of awareness or consideration of anyone else or their needs. The preoccupation with smartphones and living life through the web can only mean it will get worse as a lot of young folk seem as if their brains are plugged into their phones and are on constant standby, checking for messages or responding rather than notice what's happening around them.

I was expected to have good manners as a child and once these things become a habit they stay with you through life.

ZZzzz That's quite sad.

Rollo I didn't say I find all Chavs okay - likewise those who presume they're of a better 'class' than me. I just don't judge a 'type' by the Daily Mail!

Walking into a hospital recently I looked round to see if anyone else want to walk through the doorway, there was a young girl 15 ish pushing an elderly person in a wheelchair, I waited a few seconds so they could get past me easily, they both thanked me and on our ways we went, so quite a while later we meet up again and the young girl gave me a bar of chocolate as a thank you for earlier,it seems most don't have time to wait for someone in a wheelchair and just let the door go. Grr.

I think it is quite rude to invite a small child to an environment that is unfamiliar to it and not really meant for it to be in anyway and then expedid need ct it to be comfortable with not enough attention.

What about the parents who trail a small child behind them whilst totally ignoring them because they are engrossed in a conversation on their mobile phone.

Those people who can take up a whole aisle with one trolley in the supermarket. There was a man the other day who was standing behind his trolley which was facing the products he was deliberating over, thus blocking an entire aisle whilst deciding whether he really did need some washing up liquid.

If there isn't much room in an aisle and I let somebody through, then they don't say "Thank you" I say it very loudly for them.

I very much dislike children running around restaurants and cafes. My daughter would never allow it. My son's boy also has good manners I'm happy to say.

Another thing I don't like is seeing groups of people socialising when half of them are playing with their phones. Very rude in my opinion.

I recently had to go to a place called Langley Mill in Derbyshire. Really, really weird M Winchester should give it a try if she finds chavs OK ...

When they were under 14 I would not have dreamt of taking my kids to a restaurant ... TGIFriday, Harvester and PizzaHut are fast food joints not restaurants. Very good for browsing hungry kids though and their antics don't bother me. It is their natural habitat.

Actually, the 12 year old (B) got a rude awakening when she was about 16 months old. She was in a highchair at the table. My daughters and I were sat at the table, eating, and in conversation.
B decided she wasn't getting the right amount of attention, and started squawking, and throwing her food about.
No--one said anything to her, but, as one, we all silently turned to look at her - this wasn't pre-determined, it just happened.
B was so freaked out, she sat there stunned, then burst into tears!!

An early lesson in the power of a group!!!

Rollo, 'Only chavs fail to give up a seat, open a door etc for the fair sex'
??????? That's a bit of a sweeping statement.

Some of the rudest people I've met have had more money than sense. They seem to think the world should move for them. Oh yes, they'll be polite with their 'own', but anyone they see as 'below' them - why should they bother?

I occasionally meet groups of lads sat on steps in and alleyway I go down - probably chavs, but I don't presume these things.
I merely say 'Excuse me', and they've moved - quite often asking me if I'm okay walking down the steps! :-S (I'm not a pensioner yet!!)

Karen, I too hate children running around a restaurant - or pub, for that matter. I'm pleased to say, my grandchildren (4, 6 & 12) sit to the table to eat, and any 'bad habits' my daughter or I miss/overlook, the 12 year old will chide her brothers for - she's quite the harridan when it comes to table manners
:-D :-0

That's terrible Tecwyn!!
Manners cost nothing; lack of them speaks volumes.

As some of you know, I spend much of my life living a hotel, and currently I am at a popular beach resort where it is high season and, therefore, full. I am alone for much of the day so indulge in a good deal of people-watching - and I see all sorts of weird and wonderful goings on!
One of the worst spectacles is people's dining habits/table manners. It seems that it's the under 40's in the main, who have never been taught how to....
sit at a table properly; use a knife and fork; chew with their mouth closed.
Most of them don't appear to know what a napkin/serviette is for, but worse than that is how they think it's ok to allow their small children to wander around unsupervised, helping themselves to the buffet food.....small fingers delving in and out of salad dressings, biting into things and putting them back, poking at cream gateaux and scooping soft desserts out of bowls :-S

Worse than that though.....
yesterday, the couple sitting near me at the pool decided to get out their nail clippers and cut their toenails...eeeeuuuwwwww!!!! :-P :-0 Have they no shame!

Yep, I know I'm a grumpy old woman. :-D

Tec,that is dreaful and how she didnt notice I dont know,,,,,,,,

If manners are lacking from someone ,I just re-enforce my own and keep it up,,,,,the penny drops sometimes. :-D