General Chat

sadly its all about control Shirley my heart goes out
to anybody who is doing what's best for the children
and the other partners scoring points not thinking of the children at all

some parents where born to be good parents and sadly some not :-(

Joy

Our daughter and SIL were so concerned about his son and his prospects that at the concerns of the social services ,and why didnt he go for custody ,they decided as newly weds to go for custody.

Not an easy decision as our daughter is older than SIL and has two grown children

The mum had legal aid cos lazy cow has never worked. Daughter and SIL both workers had to hire a lawyer and then pay for barristers at court . Cost them over £13000 to get the lad but the mum has never stopped harassment since,

EVEN when our daughter got Hodgkins and had six months chemo and 5 years follow up the mum tried to get him back through the back door and yet another solicitor who didnt know the background.

Its now come to a point when they have had to say enough and stop her access cos she was mind manipulating the lad who has learning difficulties and making his choose even tho he LOVES our daughter to bits .

These type of people have no conscience of their actions on the child/children THEY just want to point score and be top dog

Shirley so may learn to easy to work the system to their advantage
wasting courts time
and the only ones who get really hurt are the children :-( :-(

bloody hell .sorry for the words but what a manipulative bar steward he is .

sadly the only way is to try and be one step ahead of him at all times

Grandson 2 wouldn't be at the london Hospital unless the doctors felt that was where he needs to be so the PAIN has no say over the matter.

Must be stressful all round BUT if the pain isnt complying with the court orders he has no comeback

we have been there ,got the teeshirt with our step grandson His mum too is a manipulative pain that daughter has been at the end of of 12 years. Even the social services are now saying they cant work with the mum. Thankfully legal aid is no longer available for these type of cases and SHE went from solicitor to solicitor trying to get them to bow to her wishes . When a solicitor got wise to her antics she left em and started over again with a new one who thought she was the hard done by mum

its very wearing
:-( :-( :-(

UPDATE He still being a royal pain. He not seen the boy ever week, he picked the day he see them when they were at court he asked to change it which she did and he still doe not see them for 3 hour a week. Last week he phone and said that he got a women and she moving in with him and he wants my daughter, my husband the boys and myself to go out for dinner with him and her. My daughter asked how long he has know this women 2 months she told him that until he see the boys 0ne a week she did not think it is a good thing for the boy to meet her, he when mad at this. as she said he has not know this women very long. Grandson number 2 is under the children hospital in London we live in the north but the doctors here wanted this. they are not sure how to treat him, he does not go with them to any hospital appointment but he is now saying there is nothing wrong with grandson 2 His doctors have said if he took the time to came he know what I wrong with his child ,but he know better then them. Today he has said he wont a court order to stop her taking him to the hospital, but some day he is in so much pain he can not walk. He has said that the child as he call him needs to be in school we know this, but when he can not walk what can we do. My daughter may not be able to work anymore, her work are not happy about the amount of time she needs of work because of his illness. He never take time of work to help when his child Is ill. My daughter apply for DLA but did not get it we have been told she is to reapply for it by the hospital, and that she needs to be there when he is in hospital. Grandson 1 does not wont to see his dad he has learning problems ,but is doing well, bless him. MY husband and myself found that this is affecting our lives but we will keep doing what we can. It feels like we are bring up our grandsons in some way but we get the good time as well as the bad. Grandson 1 said today my granddad the best in the world he know how to do everything. We will see what happen when we go back to court next month. By the way dad did not go into school today for father day, but granddad took some time of work to go in for them so they had someone. We will see what time brings

she would be nuts to take back a control freak like him
I wish her well in her whole new life of freedom :-D :-D

He has told her this can all go away if she takes him back. The court is sending someone to talk to Grandchild 1 as he will be 9 in a few weeks time about what he wont He was was asked in court what he knows about the boys needs eg grandchild 2 meds and he knows nothing and has never tried to found out about the children need. CSA have still not got a reply from him

Well done Stella
a pat on the back where it is well deserved :-D :-D

When i divorced my husband he walked out and never made contact for 3 weeks , then he turned up wanting to see our 5 year old son.I told him that he could not and in future he would have to make an appointmemt to see him.
He turned nasty and tried to get full custody , when we went to court before we went in the room we were interviewed by a mediator and again he turned nasty and demanding, but i made my case kept my cool and the mediator was very good.. we walked out of that room with my husband signing away his rights to see the child unless it was by prior arrangement and agreement with myself.
Surely something like this is available ?
He never made any maintenance payments and so we had nothing to thank him for, although i did not stop him seeing our son as i thought that was the best road to go down to stop any bitterness later on, and it has worked. :-)

It was a nightmare at the time I must admit,but i think i did what was right for our child, he now has 3 children of his own and their grandfather and i have buried the hatchet that could have destroyed a happy future for all the children involved.

ha sounds like a right master baker to me
he is playing games trying to keep control of your daughter
and because he cant making her life difficult


its time to tell him the days of him been in control are long over :-( :-(

People playing with hearts and lives of those close to them.......children never forget,
it always comes out in the end on how they feel........

Parents, Father/Mothers have a choice the children do not.......

Legal aid is no longer available for family matters unless there have been incidents of serious violence.

Social services are not in a position to act as default lawyers except where they have taken a child into care. The social services have no rights of representation in court - they are not lawyers - though their evidence is of course important. They cannot appoint and pay a lawyer on yr behalf - see para 1.

The inevitable result of the withdrawal of legal aid for family matters ( and it goes on to all aspects of divorce, wills, mortgages/rent etc etc ) is that many people have ended up having to represent themselves despite having little capability to do so.

That this is hardly justice has been complained about by some of the highest judges in the land.

Should any party to a dispute fail to honour a court order then that is contempt of court. The penalties imposed are often drastic including imprisonment.

I don't think he really wants the children.

He's only doing this to upset everybody, and to upset your daughter more than he has already.

I hope, for everyone's well-being, that he gets fed up and goes back to Scotland (they probably don't want him there either!).

<3 for your daughter, I hope she stays strong.

Sounds a waste of space just like my ex son in law. :-| :-| :-|.

What a waste of soace he is. And how upsetting for his children.

Well Daughter when to family court 2 week go He Got 3 hour a week to see the boys He did not wont them on a weekend He wont them on a Monday because of his job. He would not have them last Monday because of his job. On sunday he rung her and said was not having this Monday because of a work thing. He also rung CSA and told them a liar that he had sorted his money for the boys out with her They stop his payment to her from him ,this happen 4 week ago till trying to sort it The CSA have said they are sorry and they should have spoken to her before they stopped his money. Yesterday CSA phone her to say He will not return there phone call and do we know where he is.She had to go to boys school yesterday and tell them that the court told him to get in touch with them and he has to go school event for the boys I bet he does. We go back to court in July so the court can see how well he has done What a waste of time for the court and for her

he sounds like a control freak and still trying to control :-( :-(
I would ignore as much of his behaviour as possible
and keep a diary of events

it looks liker your daughter is doing everything right :-D :-D

the children come first and not him
and maybe he should be reminded of this :-D

Update on what is going on with the grandchildren

Over Christmas he made our live hell. She took the boy to see him on Christmas eve but all he did Christmas day was ring my house phone and text her. He has gone to court to get a court order to see the boys. Children service are saying on way is he to have them my his self. He has text her saying he will make her life hell and ours. We go to court at the end of March. Daughter took grandson 1 to doctor yesterday and the doctor has put on the sick for 2 weeks because of this. He will not go to any hospital appointment that the boys have got. When grandson 2 was ill he would not help to look after him but he moan that I was looking after him so she could take grandson 1 to his appointment with children service. I wont to go away with her grandsons and my other daughter at Easter but we know he will make trouble if we do. We will just have to see what happen but I wont to know how someone can move away from his children for over a year and then think he can came back and make demands

I hope it works out well for the children and your daughter. It is good that S Services and the school are aware.

It's good she has the Social Services involved. She needs to send them a copy of any correspondence she gets from him or his solicitor

If he wants a DNA test then let him pay for it he must have money if he has paid for a solicitor He may be doing a bluff though and paid for a one off letter to be sent from a solicitor to put the frighteners on

Sadly these days legal aid has been stopped for these types of case so solicitors and court lawyer fees do rocket

It cost nearly £12000 when daughter and son in law went to court over custody of his son from a previous relationship and this was with the social services behind them

I know how stressful it all was for our daughter and SIL