General Chat

A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their 10th wedding anniversary when the wife says, 'Darling, as this is such a special occasion I think that it is time I made a confession...... before we were married I was a hooker for eight years..'

The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, 'my love, you have been a perfect wife for 10 years! and I cannot hold your past against you..
Maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade so as to spice up our sex life a bit..?'

She said, 'Darling I don't think you understood me correctly, my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales ........'

foreman says to paddy

,

without using words or numbers, how would you write (9)

paddy thinks for a bit and draws a tree another tree and yet another tree.



how does that work then says the foreman?

paddy says tree and tree and tree make nine.



ok paddy then says the foreman write 99.......paddy thinks and then smudges the trunks of his trees, there ye go says paddy



dirty tree and dirty tree and dirty tree, make 99.



phew says the foreman............I bet you cant write 100......



paddy thinks then draws a large spot alongside each of his trees............there ye go he says.........dirty tree an a turd tree times......



is 100

:-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D.

Beginning to look like Its about the only type of joke you can tell on here Kay
Here`s another one, might be a little risqué though. ;-)

There once was a really cute princess who was walking through the woods. When all of a sudden she heard a voice calling, "Hey Really Cute Princess!"

She looked around and didn't see anyone or anything but a frog sitting on a big rock.
She started to carry on her way but the frog called again. "Hey Really Cute Princess, if you take me home and let me sleep on your pillow next to you, I will turn back into a Handsome Prince!"
It had been a very long and boring day so she decided to pick up the frog and give it a try though she really didn't believe the frog at all.

The Really Cute Princess took the frog home with her and let him sleep on her pillow beside her. When she woke up the next day what do you think she found?
There on the pillow beside her lay a really Handsome Prince.

Do you believe this story?
No!... Neither did her mother!

ribble ribble,,

Budgie have you been sneaking in the crackers and pulling them to bits,,,,,,,,,, ;-) :-D

"Croak! Croak!"

Ah brain clicked into gear for 1st one - Making an obscene clone fall = Making an obscene phone call? :-S

Liked the 2nd one :-D but 1st one went above my head :-S

There once was a scientist who was very successful at cloning Frogs, and one particular Cloned Frog had the power of speech.
But the frog`s Language turned to swearing.

The scientist could not stop the frog from its incessant swearing.
He tried everthing he could think of but to no avail.
Then one day whilst sitting at the dinner table, the frog sat there swearing away as usual,the scientist clacked two spoons together.
The startled Frog fell of the table and "croaked".

The FROG POLICE arrived shortly after and arrested the scientist, for...

Making"an obscene clone fall"

Will delete if anyone is offended. :-)