General Chat

My m-i-l was great for the first 18 or so years of our marriage .................. helped of course by her being in England and us over here.

They came over here every 2 years for a holiday, scrupulously dividing the time between our house and their daughter's home 800 km north of us. We got the first and last bits (near the airport) and sis-i-l got the middle.

M-i-l did have the nasty habit of telling someone "you did that very well, but so-and-so is much better" .............. her son came in for a lot of that (usually weighed against her brother who had died young). But she also played her 4 grandchildren off against each other ............ we're lucky that our daughter and her 3 cousins were able to overcome that and be great friends.


Still, she was OK with me.


UNTIL .......... her husband died, and then I became the scapegoat to be blamed for everything that was bad.

It seems her husband had been blamed for everything while he was alive.


I was responsible for her daughter emigrating over here ................ nope! My sis-i-l did come to Canada because her brother was here ...... otherwise she would have gone to Australia!

I had married OH only because I wanted her money :-S

OH was told to divorce me because I was trouble, and only in it for his money :-S

On her last visit here, I was told that she knew that I had not wanted her to visit ............. nope! In fact, I'd persuaded her son and daughter that she should be invited!

It went on and on .............. until she died in 1993.


Father-in-law was a lovely man

my in laws were awful

then my mother in law had the cheek to ask
if she could live with us


and I told her straight I would of killed by the end of the first day :-( :-(

My first M-in-L didn't speak to my then wife for two years after a birthday card we sent her didn't arrive on her birthday as it was lost in the post. She (M-in-L) also didn't speak to her own father for 16 years over some imagined slight. As you say, "there's nowt so queer as folk". I think some people thrive on confrontation. Bob. (who gets on with everyone)

Inlaws can be strange, same as families. I have always been lucky with my in laws, (better than I have been with the sons :-D) My current Mother in law is fantastic, no Dad in law ever been on the scene and he is no longer now anyway. Mum in law as said is great and I would willing have her come and live with us ;-) Well in the flat upstairs.

Sandra if my in laws had done that to me I would have done exactly the same as you and said sorry I am busy. But I would have added you might be his mother but I am his family and I haven´t moved with out telling him.

I was lucky with my in laws got on great for a lot of years and never had a cross word with MIL . FIL was in the background most of the time


BUT in 1980 our daughter and SIL lived in Wiltshire , we lived in Kent . Mil being in Herne Bay & us in the Medway area

SIL was in the army and was posted there whilst his unit went to Germany for a 5 year posting he was seconded to Wiltshire for a year

He was sent to catch up with his unit in Germany leaving our daughter in the married quarters with a cranky 4 month old !!! She was left to do the march out and this was done with a week to spare till, the army shipped her and her baby to Germany but so much stuff was packed up she wanted to get out ASAP .

Hubby came off night work in SE London and drove down to pick her up . They got back to ours as 6 pm very knackered and as we had an early start to get to Harwich the baby was fed and bathed in the kitchen sink and we were all in bed by 9pm and up at 5.30am

MIL took the hump that daughter didn't ring her to say goodbye even tho I explained it all AND she wasn't on the phone in Warminster so had she waited for the Army to move her she still wouldn't have phoned

Mil was very nasty about it all and refused to send cards to daughter and her only grt grandchild from then on .

Daughter was very upset that no birthday cards were ever sent for the baby ,she wasn't too fazed at no christmas cards or birthday cards for her as she thought blow her I haven't done anything wrong

In laws had their 50 th wedding anniversary and a family party whilst ours daughter was still in Germany and I said to her you better send flowers . When we went to theirs she had loads of flowers sitting in water and i saw daughters flowers which were lovely ,& I said they are lovely , Karen said she was going to send some.

Got a really nasty retort of don't know why she bothered , I said that's not nice mum but held my tongue further as didn't want to fall out with her at the time ,

Daughter was innocent but mil was really miffed with her for ages

I was piggy in the middle and really didnt want to take sides :-(

Good for you hun
those who care matter and those who don't

don't matter at all

How strange. There's now't as queer as folk!

It might be best to leave your OH to speak to them rather than reinforce the 'evil daughter in law' scenario.

My in law are always right We sometime do not get on ,but we try and be there for them But this time We are so mad with them. They live 3 hours away from us but ever week we ring them. At the end of last year they said that they were going to move that they had a buyer for there house. My OH tried to rung them on tuesday but the phone was dead so last night when he when to work he asked me to ring them ,again the phone was dead. I rung my sister in law and got her OH . I told him what had happen and asked if my in laws were ok. He told me that they have moved I reply that did not tell us He reply it has nothing to do with me.

s o came the summer and we get a phone call saying can we go down and look after them while my sister in law and her family go away for 4 week forget it no way, also when my in law ring and say when are you coming down and we tell them that we have something to do with our grandchildren and she reply I am his mother and family came first she will get told yes they do the one that talk to us