General Chat

RIGHT YOU LOT THIS IS THE 3RD ATTEMPT AT DOING
THIS POST,LAPPY DONT NEED ANY COFFEE TODAY
THANK YOU,,,
BUT IT WAS FUNNY
XXXX

:-D :-D :-D

Is that liquorice I can smell??

Ernie was a knicker stitcher when he weren't deliv'rin milk,

he stitched them in the evenings out of the finest silk.

My gusset has never been so dissed! :-|

Prickles in Dissgussetshire. :-D

Well I'm digussetted :-0

Yeay, I agree, good jobbies. Missed it, but I lurve 'em :-D <3

great jobs :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

sally w

love them <3 <3

OMG
OMG
OMG
PML

HELP!
LAPTOP MAY NEVER SURVIVE,,,
I WAS EATING A CHOCOLATE BUTTON ICECREAM
I DID SAY
WAS ..

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son
I'm only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker comes.

Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes in an evening I feel a trifle dim
All alone, I'm plucking pheasants, when I'd rather pluck with him.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's mate
I'm only plucking pheasants 'cos the pheasant plucker's late !

I'm not good at plucking pheasants, at pheasant plucking I get stuck
Though some pheasants find it pleasant I'd rather pluck a duck.
Oh plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But pheasant plucking's torture because they haven't any grease.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, he has gone out on the tiles
He only plucked one pheasant and I'm sitting here with piles !

You have to pluck them fresh, if it’s fresh they’re not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable who could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable had pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar on a Sunday ‘tween the first and second lessons.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's mum
I'm only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker's come.

My good friend Godfrey is most adept, he's really got the knack
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I like to give a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all our pheasant plucking keeps us pair together.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's friend
I'm only plucking pheasants as a means unto an end !

My husband's in the forest always banging with his gun
If he could hear me half the time I'm sure that he would run,
For there's fluff in all my crannies, there's feathers up my nose
And I'm itching in the kitchen from my head down to my toes.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's wife
And when we pluck together it's a pheasant plucking life!

O'im not a knicker stitcher, o'im the knicker stitchers mate
O'im only stitchin knickers c'os the knicker stitchers late.

:-D

Is that sung to the toon of Subterranean Homesick Blues Dermot?

Oi'm not a knicker stitcher Oi'm the knicker stitchers mate



:-D :-D

I have redeemed myself Sue.........so I have. ;-)

See Dotz............I told yer it was funny.........so I did.

:-D

:-D :-D :-D

Prickles now what you done..????? :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Budgie Rustler - Section 4A of the Public Order Act 1986 criminalises the use of insulting words with the intention of causing harassment , alarm or distress.

But don't worry yourself unduly because I am the king of Irish joke telling - so I am!

A slither of Irish Political Nonsense - in honour of the forthcoming UK election.

Enda, the local TD was elected to the Dail by a large majority vote.
He was so delighted by his win, to all his friends he wrote
A letter inviting them to come & dine with him
In the big hotel - the crowds came pouring in.

There were tall men, small men, bald men, football men, Fianna Fail men, know-it-all men.
There were bail men, salesmen, Fine Gael men, IRA men, NFA men, GAA men.
There were CIE men, ESB men, RTE men, BBC men, ITV men & EEC men.
There were Technicians, Opticians, Physicians, Magicians, Musicians, Electricians & Dieticians.

There were postmen, host men, propose-the-toast men.
There were teachers, preachers & men who were good readers.
There were bakers, undertakers & men who were fine coffin makers.
There were waiters, slaters & men who were good eaters.

There were shopkeepers, street sweepers, men who were good sleepers,
Great collectors, team selectors & men who were good electors.
There were pit men, well fit men, jurors, rulers, chauffeurs & gofers.
There were tailors, sailors, peelers, cattle dealers, joiners & golfers.

There were single men, married men & some who brought their wives along.
The women wore tall hats, small hats, green hats, easy-clean hats,
Leather hats, knitted hats & well fitted hats.

There were single dames there, well done up ones and well brought up ones.
Some had high heels, some had low heels & some had no heels.
Some wore mini skirts, skinny skirts, high skirts & low skirts.
Some you'd think wore no skirts.

Some of these were rousers, some wore trousers.
Some could step-dance, others could not dance
And more of them sported hot pants.

Well, some were sat eating, others were up & down greeting.
There were all kinds of nice cakes, ice cakes, sliced cakes & spice cakes.
With soup, we got brown rolls, some of them were round rolls.
Talk about munching & crunching & drinking,
There was no time for thinking.

The soup bowls were soon collected
and the next ones well selected.
We got ham & lamb, salmon & tomatoes in a bowl.

We got red sauce like lamb’s jam & potatoes in a roll.
There were rashers & canapés & carrots by the score.
We got roast beef & minced meat & cocks’ legs galore.

We had whiskey & brandy, tonic wine & shandy
Cherry wine & sherry wine & all sorts of berry wine.
We got fruit cocktail & peaches & then came the speeches.

Oh, manful shouting; they never heard such spouting
for the things that could happen, you never heard such clapping.

It was his intention to give everyone a pension
and there's no need to mention that went down very well.

All the bog land he'd drain & make a good playground
and plough up the lay land for potatoes we'd sell.

England would buy them & their chip shops would fry them
Or else we would dry them & wrap them up well.

Ah, but you know the TDs how they blow like a breeze.
They would empty the seas when an election is near.
They'd clap like the thunder & they'd hide every blunder.

But then they'd get lazy & take it quiet easy.
They'd drive you just crazy if you took any heed.

But they are all just the same & it's damn hard to blame them;
You wouldn't dare name them for there isn't much need.

No knitting involved Dotz.......it was about a Knicker Stitcher.

:-D

oh 'ang on.......senor moment. We can't post pics on the boards. :-(

shame :-D :-D

Did it involve a woolly hat? :-)