General Chat

But you have happy memories of him which is important

Think you need to give yourself a break now and say wow i did cope and thats good so now I need to take a step back and relax and find my own pace to go forward

I dont beat myself up that my motivation has gone a bit haywire . Been told by family you NEED to ask for help as we are here but dont know unless you ask

I did ask grandson for help with painting before the stairlift went in as it had to done and the new carpet put down so the stair lift could be installed and he and his dad repainted the hall and stairs for us the weekend before .

Still reluctant though to ask for the small paint job so its down to me and my MO JO lol

Shirley, we are both reasonably fit and healthy but we do find that jobs these days take twice as long as they did (he is almost 77 and I will be 75 in August). The main thing is to try and enjoy what we do do and not fret about what doesn't get done. Sharon you have been very much admired by us all, you did well, and you will continue to do well, as and when. don't fret about it. Enjoy cuddling your cat and think about it as 'therapy'. :-) <3 <3

Ann


Hubby is 81 and no longer able to do!!

i am 78 and have slowed considerably. When I was working i hated a desk piled with papers . i would deal with a query and then put it to bed. NOW i have lots of papers certs etc that need to find their homes . I have a purge every now and then and do a big strimming of papers with names and addresses on cos I am paranoid about identity theft . I get a bit peed off with unsolicited home shopping booklets etc coming in the post cos we arent on the public electoral rolls and are ex directory Bee company's you buy from pass your info on .

BUT we have a clean home. maybe a bit more dust around cos I dont dust every day & a few jobs that could be doing but I aint worrying about them . I need too get on top of the filing too

Watching some of the american programmes on hoarders I realise I have a long way to go

Ann I am already there with the hoarding, and altho I am full of good intentions my energy levels are really low. I could happily hibernate for most of the time and if I lived alone, maybe I would.

Sharron, I think Rose's idea of ticking one job at a time off your list would make you feel positive but maybe you need a little boost in the meantime.

Hope you can get those jobs sorted soon and get your house in order so that you can tick those things off the todo list

Take care and treat yourself gently, don't be so hard on yourself.

Lizxx

Thinking of you, it takes time but you will get there! <3 <3 <3

Sharron, you are facing the milestone of the anniversary of Fred's death in a couple of weeks' time and this is also making you feel low I am sure. As I have told you privately, I have been in a similar position and did find that my spirits lifted when I had passed that major milestone.

Do as others have said, take each day as it comes and don't beat yourself up about what is not getting done. I would take up your doc's advice on medication. A low dose for a few months may be all you need to give you a lift.

Take care of yourself, ol' girl - go with the flow (hopefully the flow of hot water too soon) :-)

I seem to have got the wrong end of the stick so have deleted.

Island, we really are both travelling in the same direction but I think we are each taking a different route or, maybe we are at different places on the same route. Dunno.

I am lying in a very comfortable bed, looking out at the tops of the trees next door with the buds against the grey branches.It is beautiful.

I have even given myself little incentives. Do some more patchwork with all the lovely new fabrics I have and the old ones that came off the top of the wardrobe when we moved it, when there is more space and order, start on the mediaeval stuff again when the shed is straight and set up as a study, get that bathroom sanded and decorated when the bookshelf and filing cabinet are no longer in there.

These are all things I am looking forward to more and more. I am just utterly fed up with waiting for my inner mind to get itself going and let me get on.

I have been struggling over the last year to get motivated to do the things I always used to do for a variety of reasons. A couple of months ago I decided that it was time to move on and I have been making little lists of jobs I need to do over the next few days and I am managing to succeed. I make sure the lists are not long and are achievable. It makes me feel so much better and motivated when I clear a list.

That's very heartening to hear LindaC - onwards and upwards :-)

I don't even believe in what I did today but I feel better for it.

Having signed out of here, I was lying in the lavender scented water, drifting, as I do.

I was thinking that I felt like there was a bone idle mad woman living in my head when it occurred to me that there had always been a bone idle mad woman trying to take over my every waking thought.

I told my late, unlamented mother exactly where to go, in no uncertain terms and I feel like a weight has been lifted and I already feel more motivated..

Oh, I do hope it lasts long enough for me to build upon.

Oh Misty. You had so much to cry about.

It is not really like that for me.

I think that the biggest change in my life now is that I am no longer under the enormous stress under which I lived from the age of six.

Fred's death was, very strangely, quite lovely. Everything leading up to it was sort of right and spiritual, including a kind of tribal dining him out on the previous night.

OH, Fred's mate and I had fish and chips sitting around Fred's bed. OH fed him a little fish and a couple of chips and it all felt so right and tribal.

He was being fed yogurt by a woman of my age who was one of his special friends when he slipped peacefully away.

It was good and we were all ready. I wouldn't mind the same for myself.

Having had seven years without a proper night's sleep, I was loaded with all sorts of admin and then there is a particularly unpleasant bully of a woman in Chichester Jobcentre. It was she who really pushed me over the edge.

At the age of sixty-one and not having been out to work for eight years, she insisted that there would be plenty of work available for the few months until I draw my pension and generally treated me like I was a very inferior type of scrounger.

I just imploded for a while but now I am getting impatient to start getting on with it.

I just have to tell you how much this thread has helped me. I was starting to get quite worried about how I was feeling, losing interest in everything, not being able to do the things that have to be done, etc.

After reading this thread I realize that what I'm going through is normal, I am normal. Since it's only been 6 months for me, I know I will recover and eventually get back to normal.

Thank you, all you lovely people.

Oh,thank you so much Margee.

I like to think that there are also people who don't pst who may be gaining some comfort from threads like this (dirty washing being aired!).

It is so possible to feel very alone and helpless which was why I was so keen to share the article about narcissistic mothers too.

If it brings somebody else a bit of comfort and support you can see as much of my dirty washing as you like!

Sharron <3 <3 <3 :-D :-D :-D

Many threads help others by bringing to the fore feelings and problems that are sometimes hidden or kept inside, and even if readers don't post, they may find help and reassurance from the comments.

I hope people posting will find things easy ss time goes by.

Lizxx

I won't be moving on yet a while.

There is no hot water again this morning!

Have you tried kicking it Sharron???? It does sound as id they should take it out and start again. It must be costing more in call outs than a new system.

It is a new system.

It went in on 29th January. They were going to replace it last week but, it seems, the only problem is the thermostats.

Gives me a bit of company doesn't it?

Ha Ha!! I love that.
" They were going to replace it last week but, it seems, the only problem is the thermostats."

Surely a pretty major part - you could even say the basis - of a heating system :-D