General Chat

My mum sent me this ... I'm not sure how flattering it is to have your mum send you stuff about being old ... but then imagine being so old you can send your kids stuff about being old !!

The 'gravity' one is us to a tee ... she was just visiting me for two weeks and managed to fall flat on her face and cut up her arm badly enough that we needed to go to casualty to get her gllued back together ... this time it was her, next time it will be me

The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and a couple of sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap !

I don't have white hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it CAN muffle the sound!

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!

And, of course... Have I posted this already ... or is this where I saw it in the first place?

;-)