General Chat

You may be interested to know that


Researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action and reaction in which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second, takes from 4 days to 4 years.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, as it has
half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.


Andy

:-D :-D :-D

It's also very heavy on the pocket of the plebium. :-(

I heard it is supposed to be very volatile with a rather low boiling point. Thus producing a lot of hot gas.

So true! :-D :-D :-D :-D

CERN says that it has a half life of 20 days.
Proximity to this stuff is unsafe and accounts for the odd bordering on insane behaviour of politicians and journos.

The antidote is a daily dose of Mr Bean and no mobile phone or internet for a month or so. Even better a foot tag barring access to anywhere in Westminster.

This evening all of the tv channels will have 12 hours plus of the dreadful effects of governmentium. Avoid watching as you will risk another side affect, utter boredom.

possibly compensated by a liberal dose of enebrium