General Chat

The food fair in Christchurch, Dorset, was so popular that people overflowed into the churchyard and were photographed sitting on tombs to eat their picnics.

I find I disrespectful. What do you think?

No - not unless they dropped and left litter there - which is disrespectful anywhere in my opinion.

I feel the same as you namelessone. I always try not to step even on unmarked plots if I know where they are. I find myself apologising to any soul who's plot I happen to catch.

If it was a family grave then I think it lovely to include the departed.

I found a family tomb, about the same size and dating back to the 1840's/50's. I wouldn't want to sit on that as the top slab was broken in several places. Many of these older graves and tombs are not safe.

Many Abbeys, Cathedrals, inner city churches etc have removed the tombstones of 'commoners' - if you're lucky, you'll find them leaning against the outer walls, or, in the case of my fx4 granddad, almost worn away as it is being used as part of a pathway - to make a nice grassy area. This means that, even if you sit down in the grounds of one of these buildings, you're likely to be sitting on someone's grave, so I find it hypocritical.
Winchester has a 'Hat Fair' every July - much of it held in the grounds of the Cathedral, on (now) unmarked graves and the ice rink is put on another area cleared of grave markers.

Winchester also has some public loos, positioned where a church used to be in the centre of town. Just outside are 3 or 4 tombstones, set into the paving there. Not sure if the incumbents are still underneath, but, well.......

When I found my paternal great grans death details from 1907 I contacted the local council for her burial details . They made arrangements for me to meet the cemetery supervisor and he took me to the area wherevshe was buried in a public grave . It was a large grassed area in the middle of other gravestones and I followed him as he walked down the rows and counted out where the actual grave would be . I found my self tiptoeing very warily over the grass and realising a couple of times I was on other graves I stepped smartly to one side saying sorry to the grass areas , seemed very disrectfull to be stomping over the resting place of someone's else's family

I would rather somebody was having a picnic on the spot where I am buried than that they were waging war.

The death of self-respect, perhaps.

I would be most upset if someone picnicked on my daughter's grave, which is marked by a tiny hesdstone. Can't do anything about the squirrels who eat the cones in the yew tree above and throw down the 'cores' tho Around her grave are others, unmarked, where babies were put in common graves ( as Zoe was until I found out and I bought the plot) and I try not to step on them. I think if parents encourage their childen to picnic in such places they are teaching them disrespect sadly.

Lizx

Liz, recent burial places are different. As I said above, the lovely green areas around Cathedrals, Abbeys etc are there purely because the gravestones have been removed. There are still remains under the grass.

In many countries of the world festivals are held IN the cemeteries with food and drink provided for the dead people. There is laughter, dancing, and yes people sitting on or near the graves and tombs. New babies are shown and introduced to the dead ancestors.

They are annual festival honoring the dead, and including them in the living family.


so, no, I don't think it was necessarily disrespectful as long as the people didn't leave litter around, deface the stones or tombs, or entirely misbehave

Maggie, my daughter has been buried since 1974 and there are older graves around the area of the cemetery she is in as well as several unnamed and unmarked graves.

Maggie, my daughter has been buried since 1974 and there are older graves around the area of the cemetery she is in as well as several unnamed and unmarked graves.