General Chat

But Ann, meter and metre, sound the same.
'tis when they are writ the error creeps in

Ah I see where you are coming from..............adjacent to a meter??

my sister went into a department store in Hereford looking for ribbon - the assistant said "you can get it in the basement by the meter" - interesting said my sister, which meter, water meter, gas meter, electric meter - how do I know which one?:-S :-S :-S :-S

OK and the men are not so clever. Coming back from America once, reach security, carrying a digital camera and it took four of us to explain to a member of the military who was assisting normal security for some reason, that you could not open a digital camera to check there was a film in there. :-)

Many years ago, a friend who was a Head Teacher went into the local branch of a well known chemist chain to buy a nail brush for her OH.
She couldn´t see them any where so aked a teenaged assistant who pointed her to a rack of nail products. Still no luck, so she went back & told the assistant that all she could see were bottles of nail polish. She was informed (impatiently) that the brushes came inside the bottles. :-S :-S :-S :-S

Poking fun at females thread? And they are all very good! :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Florence
in the hebrides

what attracted you to this person then Bob ;-)

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Then there was the time the canary died. It turned out she had mixed the bird seed up with peppercorns.

....and making Yorkshire pudding with a mix from a packet, wondered why it wouldn't set. She didn't know what fluid ounces were, so weighed out what she thought was the appropriate amount in a bucket on the bathroom scales. About a gallon I think she used.

She also refused to make any more mint sauce, as picking the mint from the garden stung her hands.....

On seeing a bottle bank, my friend's wife asked "What do you save in them?"

When my friend was in the guides, she and a fellow guide were asked to deliver some material to various addresses - they followed the instructions until they came to "ditto" and were asking people if they knew where ditto street was - doh :-S

(Some years ago) on a long drive I stopped at a Little Chef, something light to eat, omelette could come with mashed potato or chips, so I said no potato, It came however with chips, I reminded him no potato - these are chips, he explained

When I was a very young lad I was trying to learn morse code, from small cards with the symbol at the top and the character below, took me ages to suss why the numbers only went from 0 to 9

LOL

Fred went to the village lunch on his ninetieth birthday so the Women's Institute decided to get him a card for everybody to sign.

There were no ninetieth cards available in Clinton's so Ann from the WI decided to buy a suitable blank one and stick the numbers on.

Clinton's had all the numbers apart from the nine but they were happy to order one in time. Ann was agreeing to wait when the woman behind her in the queue suggested she just turn a six upside down.

:-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true..