General Chat

My daughter gets married early next year.
It's going to be a big family wedding
She and her OH have decided on a Humanist Wedding Ceremony.
(legal only in Scotland)
3 out of 4 grandparents have passed away in the last few years

The humanist has been working on the order of service and has allocated a few minutes to talk about those who have recently departed, and would not be there to share in their grandchild's day
Both of our families have agreed not to include this in the order of service.
Not because we don't care but, we feel the ripple effect would be felt by so many of the people gathered for the wedding .
Very few family members would be able to "hold it together"... including the bride and groom!

lost my dad 23 years ago and yes i miss him so much

23 years on and i still cry he was lovely

he loved all his family
he has alot of grandchildren that hes never met
i hope hes happy where ever he is

love you dad <3 <3

Such lovely memories Uzzi and Liz. I lost my darling Dad in 1969 when I was just 17 and he just 56. He taught me so much that I value and still use in life. I still miss him so very much he was my guide,my rock and my saviour at times. It was not until about 11 years ago I traced his family history and realised just what hateful lies my so called mother told me about him(after he had died). I have since found out the truth of how he was abandoned at 2 weeks old only to be reunited with his birth mother a few months later who then abandoned him again at 1 year of age so she could marry. I traced his family only to find that his Dad had kept in touch with him all along but sadly died the same year as him. Good side is though that I am now in touch a lot with one of his half brothers <3. Unfortunately he never met any of my children as first was born a year after him leaving me :-(

They are good, Uzzi , I realised too late how much he cared. I mentioned some things to my son recently and he told me when we were out for his birthday dinner that I had triggered memories for him of things my Dad did with him, showing him how to use tools etc even tho he was young at the time. He was 7 when my Dad died

Lizxxx

awww Liz what lovely memories you have. <3 <3 <3

Because he wanted to stay longer? Or give you something to smile about?

My Dad's been gone since 1990, 25 years now. I missed him, yes, but just plodded on. It wasn't until 2005 when I started doing his side of our family tree, that I thought more about his life. I realised how little he had told us, or had we just not listened, about his childhood and the area he lived in, much less his war service etc. I was lucky to make contact, after my mother's death 5 years on, with two relatives of Dad's I hadn't met before and they were able to fill in many gaps but oh, how I wish Dad was still around, memory intact, to tell me more.

I remember when quite young thinking how intelligent Dad was because he
didn't use the word glue, but adhesive. He was good at many things, d.i.y, gardening, decorating etc and he made me a doll's bed from an orange box and strong brown paper which lasted ages, and mended my toys, our shoes etc He was a quiet man altho he could get very angry. I was terrified of school and he would drag me down the road with me trying to hang onto fences and walls. He sat up with me at night when at about 3 I had pneumonia, he went out of his way to find something to ease the constant itching of an allergy problem I developed at 11, which went on for years, he went to get me a new dainty watch for my 21st after I had sent home my old watch for repair when I was working away from home. He could often fix clocks and watches. He was not a warm man, especially as we got older. Hugs or kisses were non existent once we were walking. The word love wasn't mentioned and as I became a teenager, we clashed many times over me wanting more freedom.

Before he died in the hospice he told Mum "he loved us all" He and Mum were never openly loveydovey and argued a lot but they had a whirlwind courtship and married within 10 weeks of meeting, altho more for practical reasons I think, than need to be together.

It wasn't until a while after his death that I realised that those things he did for us were his way if showing his love and I hope he knows now that I loved him too despite never saying it.

He worked hard to do the best he could for us altho we were always hard up, but he rarely spent money on himself, even exchanging his beer allowance from the brewery he worked at, for soft drinks (mineral waters) for us kids.

I am glad my son and I are able to be more open and still hug each other and tell each other "love you" at the end of phone calls or after meeting up.

Lizxx

Time that wonderful healer has not learnt yet how to lessen the hurt when it hits, just how to help us cope. Even after 9 yrs sometimes I feel as though I am on shifting sand and the tw*ts moved the rock.
The other thing my Dad left me with was a sense of humour, sarcasm definitely allowed. Why else would he have been late for his own funeral ?????

Upps Liz will do that :-D :-D
what a wally !!!

<3 <3 <3

I think that's a wonderful tribute to your Dad, Uzzi. He wasn't perfect but he was perfect for you, and he obviously did the best he could for you.

I like that your tears are joyful ones and I am sure he felt blessed too, having you for a daughter.

Enjoy your memories

Lizxxxxx

Ps you might want to edit his birthdate details lol

What can I say it was 9years ago and still I cry.
I loved my Dad, didn´t always agree with him and often argued
But he was my Rock. The never failing support when I effed up, that person who even though he knew it was wrong for me supported my choice, (if he couldn´t change it) because it was my choice, then sat back and picked up the pieces.

I didn´t always value him but I am so very glad that I didn´t have to wait until I lost him to do so.
He was one in a million who loved unconditionally, gave his happiness up for the love of his children. He insisted that a daughter needed her mother and made sure I stayed in touch (just incase) but listened to my rants. Probably the one bit he was wrong in but he secured the future for my mother with me.
I have learned a lot more about my Dad in the last few years, he was a rogue says his sister ,I personally applaud what he did. :-) and think it very civilised (well maybe not civil but a very nice eff you). Can learn a lesson or two there Dad

But everything I have learnt about him has just strengthed my believe that my dad was a very nice man.
Did all this matter ... well NO ofcourse it didn´t you don´t need to know he was a nice man because just that he was my Dad and I miss him.
9 years on and I still talk to you Dad, not sure what I would do if you answered mind.

RIP
Dad play that music in amongst the clouds and believe me the tears I still cry are of joy for knowing you and calling you Dad.

Loved you then, still love you now <3 <3