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Yes I do have my grandson here this week so have someone to talk to but I can't talk to him as a young adult .he is 16 going on 8 so have to be careful what I say so as not to frighten him . We have spoken about grandad and he asked where Is he ? I said he is in heaven with his mummy and daddy and his brother Bill . Said I expect he is very happy to see them all again ,he asked if he is still poorly and I said no he is ok now which is what we want for him as it wasn't nice for him when he was poorly . He is ok with that .
Even so when he has gone to bed I am back to being on my own sitting in Michael's armchair
I did go last wed to the local branch of the university of the third age which is a group for retired people etc . They do run groups within the main umbrella so am looking at taking up one of them too . The main group meets once a month but within that some of the classes meet weekly .may try French again as I did that at school and it stood us in good stead on our several holidays to France . It's very rusty now though
I belong to the Kent family history society's and went to the last meeting . They thought I had left !! No I had kept up with my subs even though I couldn't get to the meetings for over a year as hubby wasn't safe to leave on his own .
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Shirley - as Sharron said - hang on in there.
These things take time.
Stress in all it's forms is devastating.
People think you don't want to be reminded of your hubby, and get embarrassed.
My sister wanted to talk about her husband Derek (died aged 56 of mesothelioma)- she didn't want people to 'evade' his not being there - but it's not easy.
Being her sister, it was probably easier for me, I could 'read' her, so I openly talked about how Derek would have liked being here etc etc, and laugh about his many social faux pas, doing it at family gatherings etc, so people became more comfortable with the idea.
He was a part of your life for a very long time, and it will take time for you to re-adjust to him not physically being there - this is (to my mind) what grief is.
As Liz says, Spring is around the corner. Days out - maybe a bit of redecorating, slowly adjusting to being on your own - but NOT alone. As DeT suggests, a bereavement group , or as my sister joined - a 'merry widows' group who - surprise surprise - met in a pub. She found this wasn't for her, but the experience was 'interesting'.
:-D
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Hello Shirley
I am usually up all night so if you can't sleep pm me and I will come back to gr - I am usually on fb or reading the local paper, sometimes I nod off lol with the tv on too but I can 'chat' with you.
Take one day at a time and try to plan something nice to do as often as you can. The days are already getting a bit longer so you will feel more like getting out and about, I hope.
Take care
Lizxx
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<3 <3
We've all said it takes time to grieve and des[ite how you may feel at the moment, it will get easier. At least you have an understanding GP to turn to. Had you thought about joining a breavement group? Sharing what you are going through with those who have been there, done that, may help you feel less alone.
Anyway -aren't you babysitting your grandson over half term? That would keep you occupied and fill the house with noise. ;-)
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Keep talking to us Shirley, it must be so difficult for you. there is usually somebody on here to talk to you. Hopefully your body will eventually get back on track. do you have nice neighbours to talk to. and, the old cliche, are there any clubs or local get togethers that you could join, just to see people.
Yes, stress will be affecting your body and it is a catch 22 because when you feel ill you feel stressed. Try and pamper yourself a bit, get yourself some special food as a treat, not big meals but small tasty ones.
Keep us in the picture as to how you are feeling, we are all here for you. <3 <3 <3 Hopefully we will soon get some spring weather which might make you feel better.
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Hold on in there Shirley. Let it happen. Let it all come out at it's own pace in it's own way.
I am just so glad that I did.
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Since hubby passed end oct my body has been letting me down
I have had two abcess in teeth which had antiobitics and one tooth extracted
Lots of mornings I wake up feeling like I have a cold and take paracetamol, and two doses later it's gone .
A month ago had eye problem in that it felt that I had an eyelash pricking my eye .i bathed it in the shower but in two days I looked like I had been in a boxing fight with Mike Tyson !!
It was sore and had a black eye as if someone had socked me
As it was the weekend I wasn't able to get to the docs but by Monday it was looking a bit better so I let it take its course
So a month later still got sore eyes ,it's now both , I wake up with crusted eyes that I ease in the shower by bathing both ,
Well got fed up with sore eyes so went to the docs , it's an infection and got antibiotic drops .
Even so I have an enormous cold too .seems every time i go out then in two days I am going down with a cold or something else
I went to the docs on monday and saw the lady doc who came in to see hubby the second week he was home and at that time she said sadly he is on his last journey
The nice thing she said I remember you and your hubby , I came to see him!!
She wasn't aware how things went from there and was really nice ,as in how am I and am I getting out,
we had a nice conversation and she gave me a hug when I started to cry
She said stress is a big factor in affecting the immune system and I am at a low so am surceptical to getting viruses .
Well it's not nice feeling ill and stressed and talking to oh telling him how much I love and miss him
I know he would say "silly cow " move on but being married for .58 years I miss him like hell and its difficult being in the house on my own
Frightened daughter a couple of weeks ago when I cried and said I don't know why am here . Feel in limbo just waiting to be with him . She thought I was planning to do that' but I explained NOOO going frightens me so wouldn t go there
Am still floundering tho and hate being in the house on my own :-(
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