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For those who don't understand doctors

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BrianW

BrianW Report 14 Dec 2016 22:38

Not sure if this was originally on here, if so I apologise, but I have added a few new ones anyway:

Those who do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology are said to have a lower stress rate
This chart will help us to understand why:
Medical term: Interpreted as
Artery : The study of paintings
Bacteria : Back door to a cafeteria
Bandaged : Elderly rock group
Barium : What doctors do when patients die
Benign : What you be after you be eight
Better : Gambling addict
Caesarean section: Neighbourhood in Rome
Canula : How is your singing?
Cat scan : Searching for Kitty
Cauterise : Made eye contact with her
Circulation : A French ring road
Clot : A country bumpkin
Colic : A sheep dog
Colitis : Fire lighters
Coma : A punctuation mark
Comatose : A toe-curling experience
Cranium : Too heavy to lift, requires hoist
Dilate : Live too long
Diverticulitis: Alternative route when road closed
Drip : Psychiatric patient
Enema : Not a friend
Fester : Quicker
Fibula : A small lie
Gonorrhoea: Having a fag out the back
Impotent : Distinguished, well known
Labour pain: Getting injured at work
Medical staff: A doctor’s stick
Morbid : A higher offer
Nitrates : Higher rate of pay than daytime rate
Node : I knew it
Outpatient : A person who has fainted
Ovary : An outdoor cage for birds
Pelvis : Elvis impersonator
Plastered : Drunk as a skunk
Post-operative: A letter carrier
Prostate : Laying down on the job
Prosthesis : A good end of course submission
Puss : An affectionate term for a cat
Recovery room : Nearly killed him
Rib : To make gentle fun of
Secretion : Hiding something
Seizure : Roman Emperor
Tablet : A small table
Terminal illness : Getting sick at the airport
Theatre : Where actors pretend to be surgeons
Topical : In the news or a warm sunny place
Tumour : One plus one more
Urine : Opposite of “you’re out”
Vein : Excessive self esteem

Researching:
Sherwood (Kent); Jesson (London); Worboys (Herts)

LaGooner

LaGooner Report 15 Dec 2016 12:25

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D