General Chat

My grandaughter rang me yesterday at 8 am . She is in Spain on a skiing week and was off to the piste for a ski

She knew it was OH birthday . It's been 16 months since we lost him.She was worried if I was ok

I was ok no probs . Last year it was a Sunday and we went out for Sunday lunch and toasted him for a happy birthday

I was all set to go out but then got the feeling of can't be bothered . I got increasingly down and wallowed .

As the day went on I felt increasingly off , in the afternoon I was so down I spoke to his photo and told him how much I missed him and had a good cry

Our daughter rang later to see how I was and I was teary when she rang . She said she wasn't surprised and had been thinking all day about her dad and worrying about me.

Am a bit better today. Been for my weekly coffee morning and had folks asking how I am .Was therapeutic talking about OH and how it hit me yesterday

You jog along thinking you are ok and coping but really it's still there

:-(

Does it ever really go away in all honesty, you just learn to cope so to speak.

So sorry you got down yesterday but you did write that today was better because you were with people and could talk about your OH.

You need someone to talk to or write to - here as an example. Tell your tales to us Shirley.

Tomorrow is another day. :-) <3

It doesn't to be honest
You jog along cos you have to .you are on your own and try to cope

Suddenly last oct I had i can do this moment and I sorted his wardrobe and gave his clothes to a local charity shop. I knew he would be ok with it.

I know I am still here and he would say love you and I am ok

It's very hard moving on . We do it' cos we have to

Thinking of you Shirley <3

Thanks folks

Sorry I was composing my reply and editing it so we crossed

You know when you are young with your life ahead of you the bmds are wow can't imagine I will marry etc

I remember thinking wow in 2000 I will be 63 !! No way can I imagine being that old !!

My older brother was a jealous arsehole. He would demean me verbally as a teenager so much so I thought I wasn't a girly girl as I was tall and big stature and worried if I was lesbian even though i never had those thoughts

I met OH and he was taller than me at 5foot 11 . I was 5. 9 ins we were both shy but we did feel at ease with each other.

Our coutship was conventional and really we were soulmates

Moving on isn't easy when you have lost the only one who is your soulmate

I wasn't trying to dismiss your feelings, just whether you realise or not you do end up coping...still hurting often but you get through each day one day at a time.

You have done well Shirley, as you say, you cope because there is no alternative option. But you do have some good days and even on the bad days you have good memories. I like the old adage 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. Like us you had many years of a loving relationship, I don't know how I would cope if Tony pre-deceased me, but I know I would have to. No, moving on is not easy, hopefully the good days will soon outnumber the bad and you can enjoy your life in a different way while cherishing the wonderful memories. Sending you a (((((hug))))) because I think that is one of the things I would miss most. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Thank you Caroline your reply is so true

I didn't read it any other way

I do know how you feel Shirley and how it becomes second nature to put on a brave face at times.

I hope it does get a little easier for you soon. For me "special days" are the hardest x

There are Good & Bad times in our lives .be positive & keep your Hubby in your heart forever Take care Barbra <3

Shirley <3 <3

I so understand Shirley.

Like me you have a loving family who care.
That helps us through the tough days.

Sending you a ((hug))

Shirley,we all understand and those of us who have lost their other half can identify with you.

I seem to have have had endless challenges since Dan died...almost 6 years,can't believe it!...I find myself facing up to these things...latest being Storm Doris brought my trellis,archway down...,Tree branches,.my seagull spikes on roof all down and lead flashing lifted.

Not saying I needed him just for things going wrong,but find myself saying ...Help!..only to him,....People think I just get on with it,and cope,which I do,but they don't realize the heartache.

The strongest people have feelings but we try to keep a brave face.q

Shirley,you can't live most of your life with a partner and not get these sad moments when you think of the life you had.

We move on ,but never forget.
These boards are the friends you can unload to.

<3 <3

Hi Shirley,

It's not surprising you felt down on your o.h.'s birthday, especially as you were on your own and it was a special day with many memories, but it was lovely that your granddaughter made contact as well as your daughter. You've done so well coping with your loss and there will be other low times ahead no doubt, but also days when you feel stronger and can do whatever you want.

Have been watching Marigold Hotel and notice that Sheila Ferguson especially talks about the loss of her partner/husband? John who died, I think, 6 years ago. She really speaks out about her feelings which is sad to hear but good that she can let those feelings out.

After a long time together it's only natural to miss a loved one who has been a soulmate but I always think there will be a reunion, you won't be apart for ever.

Take care, Shirley and all who are missing their beloved partners

Lizxx

Shirley, I think others have said what I am thinking for you. Sending you a
(((hug))) and I hope today will be better for you. Loved ones who have gone
before us are only every a thought away. Be kind to yourself and take care xxx

Thank you .

You are all lovely folk xxx

<3

it never really goes away Shirley - always there - sometimes at the back of your mind and sometimes at the front - early days for you - Lawrence loved the rugby and I turn his photograph to the TV if Wales are doing well - daft I know!!! I was at the GPs yesterday and they called his name - I nearly collapsed - never knew there was another Lawrence Sullivan in the area - such a coincidence and such a shock. I was called in next!! I always talk about him and it will be 15 years this October