General Chat

But cousins are a different thing! once again I am wishing I had not started this genealogy lark, because once again I am being ear bashed by my 'found' cousin for being English and for the English having not apologised for 800 years of tyranny over Ireland.

We have the same ancestors there, mine left, his stayed ( and if mine hadn't left his would have had to as the place couldn't have supported them both). My gt gt is a "traitor" to the cause, whereas his is a shining beacon of loyalty. ( I understand the motivations of both ).

I understand the anger, but ranting at me won't, sadly, change the history of Ireland or the injustices done, at some point you have to acknowledge that and move on and certainly not blame a whole race for the actions of their ancestors.

He thinks Trump is a good guy, who "might persuade England to give the 6 counties back" because he isn't like all the former presidents with "blood on their hands"so I am having to sit on my hands on that score also.

Sorry, just venting rather than be extremely rude to him on FB lol.

Have you found 'family' you rather wish you hadn't? lol


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History books cannot & shouldn't be rewritten.

Half the problems in the world seem to stem from people who can't 'let history be history'.

I haven't found any living rellies, probably because I've not really looked, concentrating on the dead ones is perhaps safer ;-)

I don't want to argue with him, I have just told him to ask for an apology from the Normans as they are our mutual ancestors who invaded Ireland ;-)

You're right Sheila, the dead ones are much less trouble lol.

I would add that the other half of the world's problems stem from people who don't learn anything from history :-D

When I had been a carer for several years and it was starting to take it's toll, I was contacted by a cousin I had not seen for something like fifty years. I could only get out occasionally and she lived close enough to meet one day when I was able to get away for a few hours.

I think I had a resume of every illness she had ever suffered and she wanted to know all about my health (yeh!). Anyway,I rang her sometimes and we did meet once more.

Out of the blue, at a time when I could have done without surprises, a letter arrived. It began by telling me she had been meaning to write to me for some time but did not want to anger or offend me but these were the flaws in my character which she did not like. One was that she was upset about the way I talked of my dad because she wished her dad was still around.

Oh yes, I did call the man who I had spent the last five or six years organizing, stimulating and giving my life to making his richer some horrible things and he me. Had her dad still been around he would have been well into triple figures and he had been dead over fifty years so I really don't think I was being insensitive.

I decided that I would leave it at that as I had lived fifty odd years without her company but she messaged me on Facebook asking me if I had received her letter and telling me about her broken wrist/ankle/something, as if it was just the way things should be.

That was enough. I replied to her letter, ink, fountain pen, proper grammar and all perfectly understandable too. I don't need to wait fifty years for somebody to point out what is wrong with me.

A note in my very old history book published in 1885:

'449ad - The English land in Britain'.

Not quite in the same vein Sharron, but a relative of mine by marriage visited when I was pregnant and caring for my mum, and proceeded to say how badly pregnancy was "taking it out of me" because I took a lie down for an hour while I was able to. I didn't bother to tell her that I already had heard the story of how when she was pregnant and evacuated to my mum's family during the war she spent most of her time lying down or being sick lol.

Same person was always talking about health, if not her own it would be descriptions of operations of everyone she knew, none of whom I had ever met. I think it's a coping mechanism for some to keep mortality at bay, "X recovered after this so I will live for ever" kind of thing?

Nice one Dermot. :-D

There you are Nyx, tell him we've been under someone's thumb for much longer than he has. In fact, the Romans (and others) beat Dermot's 449 AD, so tell your cuz he has to wait another few centuries before complaining.

Seriously, though, Nyx, I think it's about time he puts a sock in it or moves to somewhere else if he's not happy but I am aware that even families from NI can clash even when living elsewhere. It's a strange and baffling world when one gets fixated on everything that's wrong instead of getting out and enjoying oneself.

I have been lucky in that every cousin I've met since doing FH has been extremely sociable and friendly. Don't give up because one day you could hit gold as I feel I have done with the relatives I have discovered.

JoyLouise, he lives in the Republic, in the same village as our ancestors, spends lots of time working over here in England, and in Europe, so is not so principled he won't set foot here on 'enemy territory' lol.

My other cousin on the same line ( we share gt grandparents) is great :-)

That's surprised me, Nyx, I automatically thought he was from NI. I have family connections to the Republic and none of them is like that.

I am pleased you get along with your other cousin. :-)

I have some cousins I love, and one or two that I would rather be without!

You are more patient than I am, Rose. I'd have told him to **** off and I'd have blocked him by now.

I would say to him - history is history and we can't change it, please leave it in history as I find some of your comments very unpleasant. I'm afraid if you don't stop this unpleasantness I will block you - end of story.

Thanks for replies all.

I've blocked him before ( as has my other cousin and he has stayed blocked there) , and not just for the anti-English tirades but he apologised so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He had even accused me of being an imposter, which he rather had to backtrack on when I pointed out that as it was me sent him photos of himself as a child, and letters that his father sent my mother back in the '60s :-)

All of my paternal cousins are lovely. Some of us even holiday together. Mind you, the wife of one of them......