General Chat

it is me that got her into the side ward
not free though

Rollo, I have been in a similar situation several times with my husband and his many medical problems. It is a nightmare situation and very draining emotionally and so I encourage you to find the time to eat sensibly and relax yourself when the opportunity arises.

You certainly have more than enough to cope with right now. I do hope that things will settle down and become calmer before too long.

Rollo, check the liquid situation because I'd be surprised if your mother has to consent, rather that she has to refuse.

Challenge the sister, saying that since Mum has not refused liquid, she ought to be given it as they do with everyone else, otherwise it could be thought that discrimination was occurring.

Does your Mum have a special cup or straw to drink with? Sometimes the elderly shake and if she's been given an open cup or beaker and spillage has occurred, it could be that your Mum has refused simply because of that.

You may feel that you're batting your head against a brick wall and that's par for the course but, remember, try every trick in the book, Rollo. It looks as though there are several people on this thread who know exactly how you must be feeling.

It's tragic that some hospitals, wards and medical staff operate under what seems to be no direction at all yet others operate under topnotch guidance and direction.

Are there no almoners or matrons anywhere now?


Edit: Rollo, while I would normally prefer a side ward, if I were in your mother's position, I'd probably prefer to be in a normal 4- or 6-bed ward so people can see what's going on and when I needed anything.

yesterday a snr nurse said to me that they cannot give her nutrition eg liquids uf she has not given consent! Although mum can move around a bit to get comfy basically she is not fully concious and can neither give nor deny consent. we were discouraged from giving her liquids at meal time. I saw "red trays" but did not know the significance.

this morning I have had to take oh to dental clinic op, snr cat is stlll around against all the odds eating Encore like mad and I have any amount of work generated by brexit. Adding fights with the NHS is something I dont need and unsure I can cope.

they have not given her thyroid or water pills.

Screams silently.

thankyou all for yr help

Joy Louise is spot on with her advice Rollo, you MUST nag them to give your mother fluids, and check that she has not developed an infection, sit there until they do.

I don't want to breach someone's privacy by giving details, but this is so familiar to me that I know you must pursue it, relentlessly.

Rollo, make sure she gets plenty of liquid as lack of it can cause confusion and we all know what hospital staff confuse confusion with

Likewise with any urinary tract infection.

Ask them to check because they don't always do so, simply assuming that because she is elderly, she is bound to develop memory loss and Alzheimer's and in that scenario any UTI does not get treated.

Liquids are the key, Rollo.

I went in every day to feed hubby because they were leaving his food on the bedside table thing ,not even pulling it across in front of him ,and then coming back and taking it away saying not hungry Michael you haven't eaten anything
Poor man couldn't even sit up unaided he had to be propped up . He wasn't able to feed himself at all
Later discovered by a casual chat that those that needed help had their food on a red tray .others had a blue tray

His was always on a blue tray even after we found he couldn't feed himself
So if I didn't get in he wouldn't eat !!
I did go in every day for 6 weeks till we got him home

Granddaughter went in every evening to feed him his evening meal

Just one of the list of complaints daughter listed later

Not good although she could still be recovering from the anaesthetic or sedation. It can take longer than you think for it to leave the body :-0

Have you or your wife been able to visit during the scheduled meal times? You're more likely to have the patience to help her eat. They probably wouldn't mind if you took in food that you know she enjoys. Even a yoghurt or flask of soup is better than nothing.

Last Monday my mother was, for her age, a fit and well lady in command of her faculties. With a bit of help she was able to live independently.

Since coming out of surgery she has been in a side ward on her own. It is really tough trying to communicate with her. The staff seem unwilling to give her drinks or wait while she eats as she is very slow. My oh was able to work out that she is in a lot of discomfort from her catheter yet nothing is done.

Arriving as an emergency on Mon I cannot understand that surgery was not planned until Wed afternoon then cancelled. Wed night she was then overdosed on oramorphine, Thurs spent reversing the effects. Surgery not until Friday pm - Four days after emergency admission.

crowd of nurses / helpers crowded around facebook pictures, giggling. Nearby acute patients yelling for help, not coming. small boys running and even scootering in the ward space. At times three nurses for 25 acute trauma patients.

chaos

:-0

I wish your Mum a speedy recovery, Rollo.

Glad all went well

Glad to hear the op went well.

take care of yourself, so you can take care of her in the days to come

Over the last 5 years I have seen the insides of 4 major hospitals and one small one, from A&E to oncology. None of it for me, thankfully. One was bad, but has probably improved, the others were good to wonderful (in terms of staff, if not systems). It can be a harsh, alien environment though for the vulnerable and friendless :-(

Hope your Mum continues to improve. Mine (93) had a hip replacement in April and it went unbelievably well.

Pleased to hear the Op went OK.

Try and have a good night's sleep ready for the battles ahead - pain management, OT, home visits etc etc.

If she's too lethargic or tired to feed herself, assuming you have the time, go in during at least one meal time a day & help her. In my experience - 2 parents, 4 different occasions in 2 hospitals - staff welcome an additional helping hand so they can focus on the 'red tray' patients.

They operated this afternoon, she came around ok.
All the effort needed to get it all together has left me drained.
She has a new hip ball so I suppose she is now a retread.

There seems to be an inertia in the nhs against very old people such that no great effort should be made. God help those that don't have friends and rellies who are able to fight their corner.

thank you all for your support

<3

Sounds a bit like the lack of looking at hubbies notes to see his underlying health problems on Lewy Body Dementia and Alzheimer's

They took the easiest for them way for them to neglect his needs and make him easier to forget what his problems were

I won't forgive the hospital that they didn't see him as a person who had needs they didn't give

Admitting to many of the lack of care items after he had passed away and our daughter put in a complaint doesn't make it ok

Rollo I hope that your Mum gets the care that she needs and will feel more comfortable and improve before too long.

Hope things get sorted Rollo <3 <3

I do hope your mother's health and the care she is receiving improve rapidly. Your mother will need your support so keep making your presence felt and keep the doctors on their toes.

Thankfully my experience of the NHS has been good but I can understand how frustrated you must feel at the moment.

Be vociferous and WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN, Rollo.

One nearby hospital displays the same lack of interaction between departments but another is superb. It's hit and miss methinks.

I hope things improve, Rollo.