General Chat

The arrogance of family, 3 of which think I should apologise to them because I didn't get a divorce when they say I shoiuld, we have been married 39 years and they have hated him all that time but taken advantage of our hospitality when they desperately needed help, I hope they are holding their breath waiting cos they will die and get no apology from us.
Thank you for reading this and allowing me to rant. X.

Well you know the answer next time they want help

Nope !!!!

That's exactly the answer they will get and they will need help before I do.

You rant away Zzzz if it helps. As Shirley says think twice before giving help next time, you are obviously happy in your marriage, maybe they are jealous.

I know how you feel....Over the past few months my family and my best friend all of a sudden think they know what's best for me...They are making me feel quite inadequate...I am quite angry about it...The black clouds in my head don't seem to want to go away....The latest thing is I'm expected to go with them all up north for Christmas...Quote ""I'm sure the neighbour]s will look after the cat for you""...WHAT?? It's Christmas for *** sake,,I can't expect other people to run about after my cat then...I'm staying at home and they don't like it...Hard cheese...Now I've had my little rant as well... :-| :-| LES...

Well this is the family rant zone isn't isn't it.
You're all adults able to make up your own minds be it ranting on here or where you should go for Christmas. By all means family can make suggestions but they should respect your choice once you've made it.

Anninglos, they are need jealous, both divorced one remarried, the other been kicked out of martial home and literally had only what she stood up in, we helped her out financially and emotionally more than once, she now lives alone as far as I know but don't care.

Leslie
Stick to your guns and do what makes you happy, no one else matters.

Be kind to them, don't sink to their level, being kind to them will make them feel worse. Tee-hee!


I will tell you now that Fred had not always been an exemplary father and he spent his seven last, fairly helpless years, in dread of my behaving like him. That was the best bit!

I believe in karma, it has happened to one of them, extremely severe but if she hadn't been so horrible to us we would have helped her out again, I can't be kind to them and I didn't know I could hate anyone as much as I do them.

"As I walked out through the doorway towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I realised that if I didn't leave my bitterness & hatred behind, I'd still be in prison". (Nelson Mandela 1918-2013).

ZZzzz, just do your thing and leave them to their pettiness. If they ask for help in future, play it by ear, if you don't feel like helping, don't. No one would blame you after the nasty things that have been said.

Les, maybe your family can't face a Christmas at home this year. The first Christmas after my Dad died in January, I assumed I would spend it with my 7 yr old son and Mum, as we had always spent Christmas with my parents with my brothers visiting later. When I mentioned Christmas Day to my Mum, she just said that she was spending the day with my childless brother and his wife and lunching at an hotel. My son was so upset not to be seeing his Nan. I couldn't believe my brother hadn't invited us altho we weren't that close, with him not wanting children.

It was very strange having Christmas by ourselves but thinking about it afterwards, maybe Mum couldn't cope with Christmas in the family home without Dad.

Perhaps that's how your family feel, Les but if you are happy having a quiet time by yourself don't let them bully you.

Lizxx

Zzzzz - don't hate them - it uses too much energy.

Just treat them with the disdain they deserve!! :-D :-D

My lott seem to think that we, as mature septuragenarians(??) that we should be actively "downsizing"

ie getting rid of our treasured knicknacks and impedimenta, should be outing our 30 odd year old oak three piece suite and buying reclining chairs, so that they wont have the hassle when the "time" comes...

So far our lot have not hassled us over anything. They will ask us what we are doing for Christmas and, if we say we want to stay on our own, they are fine with that, if we want to go to one of them (providing none of the grandchildren are filling the beds) that is ok too. We are blessed with very laid back children. When daughter was widowed she didn't want to celebrate the first Christmas on her own, in fact no tree or decorations went up at all. But she did want us there with her.
Les, maybe your family are being kind, rather than bossy. maybe they think it will be hard for you on your own. Stay firm with what you want to do, make sure they know you appreciate their concern and don't fall out over it if possible.

Bob, tell them that won't be half as much fun as knowing they have to get rid of it all when you are gone. :-D

they use the excuse, "but you will have more room and not so much clutter!""

But its our house and it is as we want it

My daughter spent part of our weekly phone call yesterday telling me she didn't like our GP arrangement ..................

We go to the Family Practice Clinic at the university where new doctors do their 2 year FP Residency. We do therefore see a new doctor every year or every 2 years, but there is also a Supervisory doctor on duty and we know most of them by now.

We get eager young doctors, backed up by an experienced supervisor, can get in more-or-less when we want ........... immediately if it is an emergency.

We've both had quick referrals to specialists, tests, etc when necessary.

We like it.

She thinks that we should be with just one doctor, especially as we get closer to 80, one who knows immediately we walk into the room what we've had, what we might have, etc.


I listened, and then told she was just being a worry wort :-D

She is, of course, on the other side of the continent, an 8-9 hour plane flight away, but still ......................



But she is on the opposite page re downsizing ..............

I've asked her on her last 2 visits to please tell us what she would really like of our "bits and bobs", and what she would really not want.

She doesn't want to think about it ................ although she finally did appreciate that telling me what she didn't want would allow us to get rid of stuff that we also were not that keen on any longer.

So, what happened???

She went round the house with me .............. and I think there was 1 thing she really didn't want, at least at that moment.

No help!!!