General Chat

I agree with Magpie.

David, you sound aggrieved about sis-in-law getting anything. Ellen made a magnanimous gesture, in my opinion, so perhaps she felt it a tad unfair that her sibling got nothing? Could you bring yourself to think how fair-minded Ellen must be and leave it at that?

Maybe your SIL felt aggrieved at the contents of her parents will and sought to contest it, Perhaps your wife felt the situation to be unfair and gifted her sibling what she thought to be her fair share maybe through paying for their house to be built? Only your wife would know why she allowed or gave her money to be spent in this way unless she chose to tell you, as only she would be party to any arrangement as it is/was her money which she can spend on anything as she pleases including her sister. You'd have to talk to her David to understand her reasons for her actions,although there is nothing that can make her tell you if she doesn't wish to do so.

I was present when MIL's will was was read, so was SIL>
My wife was / is the sole beneficiary.

David, if your belief that your wife helped to fund the purchase of her s-in-l's house, it could be that the reason was that your wife's sibling was entitled to half the inheritance; if her sibling had died the inheritance would have passed to the next-of-kin.

Ellen would have been obliged by law to pass on her sibling's share if it was a shared inheritance. Ask Ellen. It would save you a lot of upset.



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Well David, sadly it would appear that as it was your wife's money, it was up to her how she managed it, wisely or unwisely, However, I certainly would object in the most forceful way at being expected to have these people in my home at any time, never mind every evening!!!!! Tbh, I simply wouldn't put up with it!!!

Thank you Det, I couldn't have put it better in such a concise form.
It is my belief (without proof) that my wife's inheritance largely financed SIL's bungalow and the work in cowboy's bungalow. Where else on this planet can you get a prefabricated bungalow built in ten days while elsewhere it takes two years to install a flat pack kitchen ? Annoyed ? of course. Paper trail (receipts) none.They have pressurised and taken advantage of my wife who is naive with money.

The implication is that the Cowboy is in cahoots with David's inlaws & is syphoning off his OH's inheritance. They'd challenged his Mother-in-law's Will in court. His wife was the sole legatee as she'd cared for her mother in her final days. The Cowboy has gained his wife's trust.
David also has the feeling that the work done on his property is over priced & shoddy.

Because of the lack of a paper-trail, David can't prove anything, hence the tax evasion thread.

David, I can't quite see what your SIL's bungalow in Australia has to do with the situation you now appear to be in?!
As J.L has said, I can't quite see why you allow these people into your home every night (?!!) when they are clearly not welcome by you! or does your wife insist on their company?! It sounds a very strange situation to be in,but sadly only one you and your wife can resolve. If she feels the same as you,then as J.L says, change the locks and don't let these people in; if they persist, send for the Police to get them to move these people on with an appropriate warning to stop harassing you!This should do the trick and prevent any further incidents.

You're a bit all over the place there, David, but I don't know why you're letting the cowboy and his wife in every evening - unless Ellen enjoys their company and she lets them in. Does she think she is vulnerable or does she think you both have a difference of opinion?

However, if Ellen feels the same way as you, get someone to change all of your locks and don't let them in - job done!

Only you and Ellen can decide what to do but it has to be a meeting of minds between the two of you and no one else.

NO, it's not alright. My wife has went from being a woman of of substance to broke, skint, hard up.
Her sister and brother in law had a $270,000.00 bungalow built 3 years ago just outside of Perth WA. The cowboy who was hired or ingratiated himself during the lengthy period I was injured and ill on a drip took over two years to install a bog standard flat pack kitchen, paid in CASH up front. At the same time he had a lot of work done to his own bungalow nearby while we waited and waited. He is well in with my inlaws. On her 70th birthday they came to visit Ellen. The cowboy and his wife took a week off to coincide.He is in here every evening with his who ? what ? when ? where ? why ? routine. It's E's money, it's got F all to do with me is their opinion.
Not a pleasant scenario. He is not a man of integrity. I recently became 73 years of age, still crippled. I won't get any younger, I might not get much older. My wife is vulnerable. I can't express it as a joke because it is far from funny.

Yes J.L , I'm sure that I remember the same. Sounded a very odd situation, but hopefully sorted out now!

I recall David mentioning this a couple of times previously and if my memory serves me right it was something to do with his wife's inheritance and nothing left to her rellies who proceeded to do odd jobs for her and charged her, over the odds in his opinion. David was really unhappy about it but Ellen refused to do anything about the situation.

David, have I got that correct? Put me right if I'm wrong, but that's the gist of it, as I recall - you may have sorted it all out, of course.

You're quite right Bob! That is the case and something the authorities are concerned about, and if you pay for anything in cash without a receipt something you risk being complicit in, but on the other hand you might not be as the recipient may well be honest and declare the transaction!! Not really anything to have a sleepless night over!!

Avoidance, as I understand it is legal

Evasion is not!

Tax Evasion?
If your face fits, apparently, it's okay!

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/hmrc-tax-crimes-prosecution_uk_5b9634c7e4b0162f472ee224

Oh maybe you're right Bob perhaps I misunderstood. On the other hand we've all paid for things in cash with no receipt. It's up to the recipient whether they declare it or not and we have to assume that they do, but as we don't know, it's not our responsibility or worry, so tbh I can't really see the point of mentioning it!

I think David may have meant that he has paid cash for things without a receipt, not that he was conned. It was the tax man/woman/LGBT/non gender-specific person who was being conned. Of course, I may be wrong. Again!

David, with respect, I can't quite see how you can lose thousand of pounds over a period of time? We have been conned once, not for a large sum, but enough. After that, we never EVER allowed it to happen again! Once bitten etc!! Surely you took precautions to protect yourselves after the first event?!!

Bob - we've had a similar but verbal reaction. We were trying to sort out cash for a car park ticket machine.

In a pub in London last week, I bought a couple of drinks, total about a fiver, and the barman offered me a card reader. Someone sniggered when I aske if they took cash. I feel naked unless I have a few quid in my pocket.