General Chat

Joan yes it is a sort of 'limbo' time after the death of a partner when everything seems to need to be changed. I too was fortunate in having our daughter to help with contacting various people. But the funeral people were a help woo as they presented us with a form called 'Tell us once'. We had to list banks etc on the form and the funeral service contacted them all. that was we didn't need as many copies of the death certificate. I was very impressed with that. I hope that you can get straight soon

I am sure your snowdrops look lovely as the ones I had from you are spreading well in my garden and looked wonderful in yesterday's sunshine.

Sylvia, welcome, good to see you on the thread. Always great to hear news from abroad. When Tony died we had been together for 64.5 years (4 years 'courting' and 60.5 married)

Good morning, it would be lovely if you joined the thread Sylvia.
I will have been married for fifty four years in July and we met two years before that at a party at Leeds uni. I saw him when I arrived with a group of girls from my hall of residence. I thought he looked very nice, but he was with another girl who I recognised from uni, but I didn’t know. After a short while, they left , but after a while he came back and we started talking and dancing. It turns out, he had just met the other girl at the party and he walked her home when she wanted to leave. She by that time had decided that she didn’t want to see him again, so he came back to the party where his friends still were and presumably to try his luck again :-D. I did agree to another date and the rest is history

I remember the tell me once form from when my parents died, I could do with that now as I have an enormous list of people and organisations to inform about the house move. I would say we are about ninety percent packed now, but the rest can’t be done yet. We have been really ruthless in going through our possessions and getting rid of them if we haven’t used them recently or if they are not going to fit in the new house which is smaller than this one. Yesterday OH suddenly said that he thought we wouldn’t need a modern chest of drawers from the spare bedroom, so I put it on the free Facebook site and a couple of hours later a couple were taking it away for their daughter’s bedroom.

Good morning, & welcome to Sylvia.
We do have a nice morning so far, sunny & calm & a tad warmer !

With regards to the "TellUs Once" help, when I registered hubbys death (done over the phone) the registrar dealt with that for me but it was only in regards to any Government things, ie receiving a state pension, getting any benefits, DVLA paperwork, Jacks private pension & other momies has to be done by us via a solicitor !

I am apparently due to receive 1/2 of his private pension but the Post Office Pension department won't deal with us direct without official permission ! mean while his FULL pension is still being paid out, so of course we will have to pay back any over payment.
I would have preferred to get it sorted out before that happened !

Joan.

Afternoon everyone looking in.

Well a very sleepless night! I went to bed around midnight and at 3am, the rain woke me. It was torrential against my bedroom window. Was awake again at 5am and then got up at 8 so hardly any quality sleep.

Its windy and still raining so an awful day here and glad Im not going anywhere.

Sylvia, you are more than welcome to join this thread. Its always lovely to hear news from afar. You don't have to post everyday, its up to you just whenever you feel like it.

Joan, when my mum died, she lived alone as my parents divorced when I was 2 so after we registered her death and went to the bank with the certificate. I went on that website Turn 2 us and they dealt with all her pensions, PIP and Pension credit. There was an over payment in the interim as all her benefits went into the bank so we paid that back straightaway.

The bank just wanted to see the will naming myself and brother as exors and then got us to fill in forms in order to close her 4 accounts and transfer the money to where we told them. That took around 3 weeks so fairly quick. The Probate came through after 3 months.

The longest part was changing all the utilities into my name.

I'm guessing if you didn't have a joint account, then that would take longer to deal with possibly.

Linda, when i moved in 2021, I think i did 70 letters notifying change of address as well as emails!! I paid for a years redirection to the PO but it was worth the money as it took nearly a year to catch every company etc to change my address.

It's all the things like Drs, dentist, DVLA. I actually forgot to tell DVLA and wasnt until my boss said to me your driving licence still has your old address! If you dont notify them you can get fined quite a lot so I did it online straightaway.

But it was all the mail order companies that send me their catalogues, although not so many these days. They took ages to update their mailing list.

I have moved at least 14/15 times so really i have it down to a fine art and being organised is the key to a smooth move.Im not planning on another move but....never say never lol

I was in the shower when I heard the front door go, it never fails. Jumped out and threw my dressing gown on and a towel round my head only to see the local delivery van speeding away and 2 boxes left on the hall table! Of course daughter had gone to town and wasn't sure if it was someone knocking grrrr.

Well my kitchen needs my attention as the table is cluttered as per with daughters things as she was running late and left bits & bobs all over the place. She left a pile of washing too....very kind of her!

Shall look in later

have a good day all
Florence in the hebrides

Hello all and welcome to Sylvia, good to have another person to chat to.

Rainy day here so not venturing out . It was lovely yesterday but back to the dismal weather for most of the week I think.

We have also been married for 54 years (55 in Nov.) and we met 2 years before that. In both our family our siblings have been married for 50+ but the next generation of 21 only 3 have stayed married and the others divorced or never chose to marry. Not so many people now will reach the anniversaries of 40 and 50+ yrs as if they do marry it tends to be after they have lived together for yeas.

Well take care all

Ginnie

I think you are right about the next generation down Ginnie. On my side of the family, although there are some stable relationships, they aren’t married. On OH’s side, there are multiple divorces and remarriages, but non of them have lasted.

It is a dismal day here, I did more packing this morning, then we did our last delivery of library books to the housebound. There was one new lady who insisted that I come in because she couldn’t walk very well. I didn’t want to because as soon as she opened the door, the wall of smoke hit me. I had to go in, but within a couple of minutes, I could hardly breathe. When I got back in the car.OH said that I stank. I am glad that I won’t be going back there again.

Afternoon everyone.

Better day here and for now not raining. I donned a thick wool cardy and ventured outside. My goodness, the air was cold but smelt very fresh. I managed to stay for about 15 minutes before my fingers were really cold. I had a look at some of my pots and was so surprised to see one in the corner with tulips and daffs about 4 inches high. Was a welcome sight.

My little holly plant I purchased at xmas is growing steadily but not rapidly which is what I was told about it. its standing about 6 inches high now.

I looked in at the multi bulbs planter and some are growing but some have not? Not sure why. If it was a bit warmer, I would move the soil a little and investigate but far too chilly yet.

I have a huge basket of ironing that's calling me but today I don't seem to have the energy to do anything today so that will be on my list for tomorrows jobs.

I tf all my photos from my phone last week to the PC, over 7000 of them! I'm now down to about 3500 so slowly working my way through them all. This is what happens when you tf to PC and don't delete off your phone.....memo to self to do this next time lol So many doubles of pics, its unbelievable. Anyway a job I can stop and start and keeping me busy.

Once I have sorted them all into all the folders, then they can be tf to the various Pen Drives I have and delete from the PC to free up space.

JustGinnie, re lengthy marriages, its true my grandparents generation were all married 50+ years with few divorces just 1 or 2 but in my mums family at least 3 divorced and in their families(my generation) several have also divorced. But some of my cousins have married 2 or 3 times with kiddies from each marriage!

One thing that is of my generation is this. Out of all my best friends, we all married with now grown up children but.....none are married with children and none are bothered about it. my own are happy being single as are my friends children all single and mid 20's to mid 30's. None are in a relationship at all! So none of us think we will ever be grandparents. How weird is that?



Linda, I once went to visit this old lady years ago and she smoked too. The living room was always a fog and once I got home, I had to shower and change my clothes as they smelt awful! At least you wont have to suffer that anymore when you move.

Will you have shops that you can walk to locally in your new area? I wonder if there is a litter picking group too so you can carry on your good work. Does hubby have hobbies to keep him busy as well? Mind you with all your renovations, that will keep you both busy for awhile I guess.

Hope all is well with everyone today

Florence in the hebrides

Good afternoon, it is very chilly here. I gave the built in fridge in the kitchen this morning a good clean as obviously that isn’t coming with us. I then started to clean all of the skirting boards, but still have lots to do. For a modern house they are quite ornate, so lots of ridges to clean. I had done everything before Xmas when we were supposed to move, but they all need doing again now.

OH has gone to his Probus meeting this morning , some of them go to a cafe for lunch afterwards, he always has a bacon sandwich. There is a Probus group in Knaresborough, so he will join that once we move. He will also join the local Ramblers group. There is a Wombles group for me as well, so I will get in touch with them. Once the work on the house has been completed, I will find some sort of voluntary work to keep me busy. The town centre is a thirty minute walk from the house, but there is a regular bus service as well. We will have to drive to the supermarket, but I do that anyway as there is usually too much to carry.

Re smoky houses -
when house-hunting many years ago, I looked at a house which had been lived in by a chain smoker.
Most of the house wasn't too bad, but the living room was stained dark brown with sticky nicotine deposit from top to bottom - ceiling, walls, everything.
Needless to say, I didn't make an offer for that one!

Cold, grey, and damp here - but windless.
Lots of snowdrops in bloom, and mini daffs just on the verge of bursting open.
Some purple crocuses.
Bullfinches pecking the buds off the damson tree - which never produces any damsons.
Tulips in pots outside have leaves about 6 inches high, but of course no flower buds yet.

Florence - maybe your multi bulbs are planted at different depths, and will therefore appear at different times? Or maybe the different varieties come at different times.
I would leave them alone for a few more weeks and see what happens.

Florence even the same type of bulbs (daffodils, tulips etc) will grow at a different rate and flower at varying times so you will need to be patient :-) :-)

Linda How awful that smoke filled house. I think if you were continuing to be delivering there you could refuse to go in for health reasons.

I remember a few years ago, we went to a car supermarket place to look at two cars, both the same type. One had lower mileage, but when we opened the door, it stank of cigarettes. It had been professionally valeted, but the roof lining must have been ingrained, so we bought the other one with more mileage on it.

We have lots of snowdrops in the garden. There are lots of other types of bulbs , but they are just pushing through now. The new house has a much smaller garden much to OH’s delight. Our current garden requires a lot of maintenance and he says he is getting too old to do it

Hello chit chatters.

Been busy today and feeling much better as a headache was with me most of yesterday but I think I was maybe dehydrated. So have drank loads and feeling more myself.

Cleared all the ironing, and cleaned the house. Had a rest for lunch and have just made a huge pasta bake for tea. I used up all the half used onions, carrots and mushrooms that were lurking, a tin of sweetcorn and a can of chopped tomatoes'.
(In one large pan, I poured a good panful of fusili pasta)

Threw the tomato mixture all in a pan with some black pepper, tomato puree and some dried herbs. Added a jar of pasta sauce with chunky veg and now all ready.
Just pour all the mixture into a large rectangular dish and cover with grated cheese. Into the over for about 30 minutes later on.

There is plenty for 2 days, so that's tomorrows meal sorted as well.

Re my bulbs ladies, yes maybe they will come up at different times. I was beg to think, I planted some upside down? lol

Linda, that's good, you will have some societies near you so you can carry on your activities in your new area.

A very damp and overcast day here and misty on the hills so no venturing outside for me.

Hope everyone looking in is well today

Florence in the hebrides

Just read back my post and had to edit it as had forgotten to add the pasta!!

It is 17 degrees here today and, until the last half hour we had blue sky and sunshine. I went to town on the bus as I wanted to post something in the main post office (which was empty for some reason, I also had a good wander, called in for a latte to a favourite cafe, bought some bits in M&S, including a new sweater. Came home, had lunch then did 45 minutes in the garden cutting out dead branches in an old rambling Rose. tired now so back indoors and it is looking like rain soon.

Wow Ann, you were a busy bee. Hoping you are resting with a well earned cuppa.

Hello toyou all.
Not the best day today weatherwise, foggy first thing then the rain came on & hasn't stopped yet, but much warmer than of late.

Our daughter took me to Morrisons this morning for the weeks groceries, buying much less than i used to obviously but I am trying to use up much of the freezer items, quite a lot of meat things to use up before restocking.

Bumped into a couple of people that knew my Jack & chatting to them brought on the tears, but I coped with it.
I bought 8 Primroses in different colours in Morrisons & this afternoon I ventured into the garden & got them planted up, they had already starting to flower & they do look lovely, really bright & colouful.
It was raining at the time & I got a bit wet but it saved me having to go round with the watering can, LOL, I just wish Jack could have seen them.

Not sure what to have for tea, I had quite a heavy meal yesterday & so I am thinkng a nice cheese & Tomato sandwhich would be nice.

Hope everyone is keeping well, & I hope the house move goes smoothly for you Linda.

Joan.

I am glad you found a sweater Ann. These days when I go into Marks, I seem to come out with nothing. I think that part of the problem is that they seem to have standardised their lighting in the stores to be really dismal. It really annoys me and I find it difficult to see the clothes, so I just give up.
This morning I packed up most of my clothes, I just have the section with my trousers to do. I have been using up everything in the two freezers, so there isn’t much in therm now. There is a fair bit of frozen veg, so I will turn that into soup tomorrow and we can have soup for lunch for the next few days. It is a good idea Joan to try and use up all of the things in your freezer and cupboards. I had a large amount of tinned stuff, so have been trying very hard to use it as we will be very short of kitchen storage until we get the new kitchen fitted.
My next door neighbour came for coffee this afternoon, I really will miss her as we have become such good friends. We are still planning lots of our trips out, so will continue to see each other. She has invited us for dinner the night before we move so that I won’t need to cook which is very thoughtful of her.

Linda I really liked the colour (coral pink) of the one I bought and it was a bit more expensive than I would like. It is fairly heavy weight so good for holiday in Northumberland in May (with daughter and son in law). However I won't be buying too many more sweaters from them because of their new sizing policy. They are now just S, M or L. so small, medium or large where they used to be 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22. How can they justify going from 7 different sizes to just three. the small is too small for me and the Medium is actually almost too big but only on the arms so they will have to be turned back I was buying either 16 or 18 depending on the style. And I noticed in the paper this week a skirt they were saying was selling well and they were only doing it in one length. somebody wrote and said how pleased she was with it as it was just the right length and she was 5 foot seven or eight. So on my five two it is going to be a tad long.

Your new sweater sounds lovely Ann, but I am alarmed to read of the new M&S sizing. :-0
As you say, depending on the style, one could choose a nearer size with their previous sizes. Since they shut the nearest 2 stores to me, it takes over an hour on a bus to get to my nearest M&S store now, so I seldom go, so I hadn't realised about the change.

I hope all goes well with your move, Linda. You sound super organised. How kind and thoughtful of your neighbour to invite you for a meal the day before your move.
I well remember the many moves we made in our younger married life. The house and content always had to be inspected, so everyone was happier with summertime moves, when it meant salads were more acceptable and we didn't need to use the cleaned-to-pristine cooker. :-D

Joan, your new plants sound very pretty and I can imagine that your new planters will give you much joy in the months to come too. It's always lovely to hear what is growing in your garden. Here in the far south east, there are daffodils out everywhere and bright yellow crocus on several grass verges, when I go into nearby towns. It won't be long before the sun opens your daffies for you up there too.
Yesterday, I went to a country park to see their display of snowdrops. How lovely for you that you can see them in your own garden growing so well.

The nearest M&S shop with clothes is nearly 100 miles away from here. However, there are M&S "Foodhalls" about 25 miles away, one to the north of us and one to the south, so I can order clothes online (not that I do often) and collect from either of those - and also return things free of charge at either of them, which is handy when clothes turn out not to fit, or not as nice as you'd thought when looking at the picture on the website.

The M&S website is more helpful than most, as it tells you the height of the model, and what size she's wearing, and also the length of the garment, so that you can make a fairly good guess as to what size to order.
Other websites don't always tell you the length of the item, and often seem to use very short models, so that a jumper (for instance) which covers her bottom will turn out to be more like waist length on me (5' 6").

One good thing about buying online is that you can read all the reviews and find out out about what it's like to wear, how warm, if it bobbles, etc, which you don't know until too late if you buy in a shop.

Not too cold here today, but still wet and grey.
There's a lot of tidying needing to be done in the garden - clearing old dead vegetation, etc - but that's no fun in the rain, and everything's soggy.

I hope you manage out into the garden, which seems to be a happy place for you, Joan.
You get a lot more snow than we do here in the west - but on the other hand you have less rain! Swings and roundabouts.

I agree about the model height AG. I recently bought two nighties on line which are mid calf on the models, but for me at 5ft 7ins they are just above my knee, so they ride up when I wear them in bed.

I paid the bill for the removal van this morning as it has to be done in advance, that was expensive :-(

After lunch, we are going to the new house to learn how to use the burglar alarms, they have a separate one for the garage, the heating etc. We are going to drop our enrolment forms of at the new doctors, then call in at my daughters to pick up the keys they have for this house. Or at least my daughters as SIL doesn’t know what he has done with the set we gave him.