General Chat

Joyous..there is a poll on the news section of AOL regarding this case ''Should she have been allowed to keep her embryos'' Result so far is... Yes - 56% No - 38% Dont Know - 6% (Thousands have voted....guess which box I ticked???) ;o) K x

she could use somebody elses eggs

Had she not believed in her partner in the way that she did she would have frozen HER unfertilized eggs instead of THEIR fertilized ones then he would have had no say in it at all. Hindsight is a wonderful thing though. I will always believe that he consented to her having his child when he donated the sperm to fertilize her eggs. There will never be a grey area for me. She has my deepest sympathies. xx

OC I do sympathise with her but there are lots of women out there unable to have 'their own' child because they don't have any eggs, that's why there is egg donation.

Haven't changed my views since page one, lol, but let us hope now that any embryos created will have a cast -iron agreement attached to them, to save this heart-breaking situation ever arising again. These embryos were half hers - and I think this is what was at stake for her, not who the father was. She has no more eggs. I agree, none of us have a god-given right to have children, but this act was a deliberate one, taken with every hope that it WOULD lead to a live birth, and for no other reason than that. The poor woman must be devastated - so near, yet so far. OC

Yes Julie but the embryos had at least half a chance of surviving in her very willing womb as it stands now they have NO chance once they 'defrost' them or whatever it is they do with them.xx

The children are alive but the embryos wouldn't survive outside the womb. As Kate has said there is no guarantee of a child anyway.

or a healthy baby.xxx

this is a debate not a falling out opportunity, so please i don't want to offend anyone, just my opinion. The couple may have been in love once, as are most couples, most couples then have children but they don't kill them off if the marriage goes wrong, so what is the difference? the embryo was done in a loving situation consented by both. Should we stop organ donations because God wouldn't like it? no, God is more caring than that. Janet

I think he should have let her, it's alright for him he can have children anytime and those little babys were hers as well.

Also, what would happen if the embryo wasn't successful in developing? That is a possibility. In that case she would not have ended up having a child anyway. Unfortunately a conception doesn't always mean a baby at the end of it.

I've thought about this all afternoon and have come to the decision that the right decision was made. I know the man gave his consent at the time but at that time the couple were probably were in a loving relationship that they thought would last forever. How many people, apart from the rich, get married thinking we must have a pre-nuptial agreement in case something goes wrong? Most people expect it to last forever and I doubt that this couple were any different. Maybe if they had thought ahead and come to an agreement just in case they had split up this wouldn't have happen but they didn't. What about the child growing up knowing that it's dad didn't/doesn't want it? Why should he pay support for a child he didn't want? He would be criticised by many, called a deadbeat dad, for not seeing the child or not paying towards its upkeep. If she had to go on benefits for any reason she would have to give his name or risk losing benefits. It a sad situation and I sympathise with her but as I've already said I think the right decision had been made.

I don't see him as anything different than a sperm donor. A donor can't go and their mind later so why should he? Rose

I do feel sympathy for her, and I couldn't have my own children, as I found out a few years ago now. So we adopted. As raw as it is for her at the moment, there is a future for this lady as a mother. Take it from me. Good luck to her. :-)

I don't know where eveyone has this idea that we are born with the god given right to have children!!! Some people can't have children, it may well be unfortunate but it is a fact. You can't expect him to be held responsible for her getting ovarian cancer and not being able to have anymore children. He agreed at the time to fertilising her embryos because they were together and in love. They are no longer together and in love so why should he be forced to have children with her.

Isn't the issue here that this is her only chance to have her own natural children? Say the position was truly reversed. Say it is the same situation with Frozen embryos except the father became sterile and the mother didn't want children. In that scenario I think he should be allowed to have the embryos implanted in another woman's womb (with the other woman's consent of course) in the same way that I think she should be allowed to have these children. After all he gave consent initially and she made life changing choices based on that. It's a sad situation unfortunately.

i think he is totally wrong she has no other chance of having her own children i hope with all my heart that his new partener leaves him and takes the children or child they have and never lets him see them, also i hope he becomes sterile so that he knows what its like not to have children i am glad i dont know him as he would have a enemy for life val :-((((

Sorry but if this man did not want children why on earth did he say yes to the embryo? Talk about cake and eat it!! I suppose a lot also depends on when you think life starts, men still have to deal with paying out when a child is involved after any split, why should this be different. Janet

Ican understand both sides but........We are tax payers and will she now go on to have IVF coz she wants a child and cost us far more than is needed If she is to have IVF this is without concent of the donar!!??? Very odd laws we live by.At least the way she and we know who the father is!!

I've seen a lot of this on our local news over the last few years because she's from my area. I do feel a certain amount of sympathy for her but there are other ways in which she can become a mother. Sadly, having children is a privilege not a right and I think that he has behaved responsibly in admitting that he doesn't want to father a child by his ex. He has actually said that he would feel duty bound to pay for the upkeep if she had a child by him. Could he possibly have been swayed by 'emotional blackmail' at the time of her illness? I don't know, but it's a possibility that he looks back with hindsight and made a decision that he now regrets. After all this high profile in the media, how would any resulting child feel when they got to 18 and discovered how unwanted they were by their natural father? A very difficult one I agree, but I think the right decision has been made. Mandy