General Chat

Yeah, Sharron, particularly as the other house is uninsured and has been for a year now as the others do not think it is important. I have been trying to get it sorted, but I am too stupid, too dumb and a female. Who needs family???

Well I do and they have all broken my heart.

Liz, it is difficult when it happens, I love my gardens, they are set up for drought, and we have been trying to keep them alive to no avail. We are still trying and have emptied 2 water tanks now, just have enough left in the large tank for drinking. We also have town water, so we are watering sparingly with that now.

Carole, loved the map of Australia, Europe is stuck in mainly desert or very arid areas, looks like I am in Bulgaria!!!! It is a very good prospective and very useful as well.

I know in Europe people get depressed from lack of light in the winter, I am sure the same happens here, in summer, from lack of rainfall.

Gail

Sharron, don't sell yourself short!

Gail, sorry you lost so many trees, I would be upset as I love my shrubs and trees etc here in this garden.

Hope your daughter and her family will be happy in their new home. You take care and make the most of the peace.



Lizxx

I am thinking of you Carole, and all who need a prayer or a hug.
we are almost straight in our house, something is finished every day, but I have you all in my thoughts.
I will not read the messages in case I find myself in a bad state and will have to sit and chat to all.
Forgive me, but we are exhausted.
Good night every one, and God Bless.
Deanna XXXXXX

Is there another Sharron on this thread Liz? I certainly don't recognize the one you describe.

Hope those fires didn't affect the other house Gail. How dreadful if your poor brother should be inconvenienced in any way!

Best of luck to all of you with problems, thinking of you all.

Oh,the beggar was gone by the time I had put some clothes on. Luckily OH was coming in and saw him.

Hi everyone, daughter and family have left and found a place near where they were living as sold the other place. They are now looking to buy some land there as well, hopefully soon. I am emotionally and physically exhausted, so have been in the pit for a few days.

All the fires are now out, still no decent rain and the areas that are not burnt are like a tinder box, everything is so dry. We have lost 3 trees due to the drought. 2 were planted last year the other was 12 years old. Many smaller plants have also died due to heat and drought. We try to buy drought tolerant plants, but even they at times succumb to the weather. I also lost 5 standard flowering peach trees, so have one very lonely still alive and very out of place, hopefully we can move it next winter and try another six plants for the area they were to grow. Have also lost a standard Beech tree that was also 12 years old. Our small water tank is now empty and OH cleaned it out while he had the chance.

Carole my thoughts are with you and your aunty.

Gail

Ben, I am sorry your friend is going through so much, and you are likely to lose him soon. I hope he is being well supported so he is as pain free as possible and can have a gentle passing when the time comes. Have you told him how much it's meant to have him as a friend? I hope so, if you haven't and find it hard to say, you could send him a card or letter and say it there, so that he knows he has been valued and loved and will be remembered. I always think its a shame we don't tell people more often what they mean to us while they are alive, it's no good when they are gone, but we all make mistakes and leave things too late or take it for granted that they person knows how we feel.

Carole, been thinking about you and your Aunt and hope she is comfortable and sleeping.

Sharron, what a star you are, you plod on and make your Dad's life worth living, and give to everyone, so there is little energy for yourself. I hope you find time to have a break and can recharge your batteries. I bet you were even pleasant to the beggar or did you bite his head off lol?

Claire, I know how tired you must be which doesn't help and you have had a sad time this year, let's hope the coming year is a bit kinder to you and your family. It's only natural to feel low at this time of year, I think, if you have had things to deal with and a difficult time. Just do what you can to keep the children happy - that's the main thing at Christmas I think, the kids, and we adults have to plod on the best we can, making the best of what we have and can do. Will be thinking of you love.

Claire, hope your daughter is a bit less difficult today and will realise she has a Mum who cares, unlike some kids whose parents seem to wipe their hands of them.

I had an email from Colin the other day, I will ask him if I can copy and paste some of it here.

Take care all, sorry to those I have missed out, am very tired and fed up myself with the miseryguts who can only criticise then fall asleep in his chair! He is being as obstructive as possible, but that's the norm, why would he want a peaceful pleasant life, he isn't normal?

Love
Lizxxx

Hi all I am having a sad time at the minute I am very low and emotional. It seems I am talking to much about the fact we cannot have children I know people get support fatigue but this is a very difficult time of year for me so if there are any childless people out there I send you all my love and hugs for a peaceful and not too upsetting Christmas
Carole you are in my thoughts xx

Love to all
Rachxxxxxx

Still yards to do for Christmas and I have had a flu type thing. Tried to sleep all day yesterday but the fire alarm went off EIGHT times.

Had a bath this morning which made me feel like I had done a twelve hour shift at the coal-face. Managed a bit of admin (booked the old man in for his dinner at the church hall and a couple of other things for him). Just trying to get back to sleep when a bl**dy BEGGAR knocked on the door.

That's it then,I'm a carer,I don't have time to be ill. I'm better!

Carole I have just added on your other thread , I have mislaid your tel no so could'nt speak to you personally but anytime you need to chat I am here xx
Mary, where do you get your strength from? Thank you for the message on facebook the other week and apologies for not replying. You are amazing!!
Sleep is fantastic, try and catch up as much as you can, life always seems so much easier when refreshed by sleep.
Claire, sorry to hear your daughter is having a difficult time, hugs for her and you cos I think you could do with one.x
Is Gail ok, have'nt seen her around for a little while, hope you are ok Gail.?
Is your daughetr and grandson still staying with you?
And Eileen ,I have been really rubbish at keeping in touch lately, hope you are ok?
Lily as I said to Eileen have'nt been in touch with you either. I am finding it difficult to pin myself down to keep inm touch, hope you had a lovely birthday the other week?
Caz, in my thoughts as always xx
And Liz, hope you are well?
Did Colin come back? If you are looking in Colin, hope all is well with you?
As always I will have forgotten someone, only popped on for a minute but seem to have written a long message.
Things are pretty cr** here at the moment, my mood is very low and I am dreading Xmas as I cannot seem to find the motivation to do anyrhing. I have got the childrens presents sorted but that is about it, no cards written and I am thinking about leaving them this year and making a donation to a disabled childres charity that I am involved with, they may get the donation before Easter!!
Anyway, enough moaning from my.
Take care everyone
Claire xx

Poor you Mary, don't you wish you could share yourself out and send a bit to do one job while another has a rest and another makes the soup? What a worry for you all with Sarah so poorly and Gareth so unsettled, and then Em on crutches, you take care of yourself and hope MiniMary is really proud of herself with her bags, maybe she has a career lined up for later on, if she could design other things to sew? (Doorstops or draught excluders maybe or pegbags and carrier bag holders) I bet Megan is busy too - will be great when the dogs are ready to come and help you a bit.

Whitenancy, I have walked in your shoes, my son was very difficult for a while and talking to school social worker was no help, nothing worked. My son would say after a meeting, well she is on your side, and then she would say would he try to do whatever it was and he said I will try to try, that's the best I can offer. In the end he left school during sixth form, wouldn't discuss why he wouldn't continue or work harder, he got a job but the rows were awful and he got himself a room in a shared house and moved out. I was heartbroken but we got on so much better and became very close from then on, in time he got a flat and we are still close altho we have our moments, the love is there. These kids test you and test you and it's so hard but I felt it was no good giving in to him or he would become a selfish person. I have seen it with o.h.'s sons whose mother would ring me in tears but wouldn't stand her ground with them, and now they are greedy grasping people who care only for what they want.
As Ann said try and talk with her teacher or head, they may have a social worker or similar who can help mediate between you but do not give in, tell her how much you can spend on her a month and make her stick to it, giving in to her demands for expensive hairdos and stuff doesn't encourage her to appreciate it or value what you do for her. Can she get a part time job yet, not sure how old she is but she needs to start learning the hard facts of life and stick to a budget etc.

Good luck, it's the hardest thng to say no but you will make her a better person

Lizxx

I add my support for Carole.

A workmate of mine is dying from lung, spine and throat cancer. He is only 64 and his retirement is due in March. I have known him for 9 years and it is sad that he is dying. He is a good friend of mine.

I have added my support to the other thread for Carole, she will remain in my thoughts.

Mary, you are superwoman with a normal human need for rest and sleep, don't worry about coming on here, you rest and keep yourself well for that family who need you.

Ann x

Hello all could we send our prayers and thoughts to Tinkerbells aunt who is dying ,Carole said shes asleep and in no pain but Carole needs our support
Thinking of the family at this sad time
Dutch

we're chaotic as usual, Sarah is still in hospital her brain tracing (EEG) is reported normal but despite that, she is having a seizure approx every 2 weeks. Won't take the medication due to the severe autism, holds meds in her mouth literally for 45 minutes then giggles and spits it out. We are increasingly convinced that the seizures are hormonally-related but no solution has yet been found. She has enough brain issues without this being added.
I think I mentioned that Gareth was sent home from school on Tuesday for aggressive behaviour, hit or kicked several staff, including the principal(headmaster), screaming, banging his head, developed a very bad cold that evening which was prob the cause of the aggression, been home all week now, causing havoc here!!! he is a lovely child - at times - but I think he senses that the one teachers' aide is nervous around him and/or angry and reacts to it.
miniMary has raised almost $1000 independently with her tote bags. The dogs are now due to arrive in mid-february, one is slower to train than the other and we want them trained!!!!
Emlyn (aka Emma)is currently on crutches with a bady sprained ankle. We've had a lot of rain/wind/snow the past few days so walking is treacherous for those who are steady on their feet, and positively dangerous for those on crutches, who think they are superwoman!!! I'm nervous in this weather, afraid of falling, and doing some damage, I am needed here right now, I'm a proxy second parent really, and it's very busy on a quiet day.
Colleen is doing really well in Uni - maintaining 80% average, she will graduate in June with a 4 year psychology degree plus a collaborative diploma in behavioural science technology 'with distinction'. All the chaos plays havoc with her ability to have time to study, I have been absolutely floored at the quality of the language in her papers, I had no idea she was so articulate. She was diagnosed a couple of years ago, with a learning disability r/t her multiple seizures as a child, so Uni gives her an extra 50% time to complete exams. As she processes slowly (left occipital area of the brain her brain waves are slowed) she was unable to complete her exams and therefore never received top marks, now she can complete them, it is obvious she is very intelligent.
I'm sorry if it seems I am ignoring you all by not posting often, I am just overwhelmed here, our fundraiser evening last saturday, made another $3400 towards the dog fund though the attendance was less than expected. It was an enormous amount of preparatory work, most of which was my job - I am tired out and trying to catch a nap whenever I can, instead of being on the computer too often.
Now we have sarah in hospital and our corgi is much improved today except for her eye which has clouded over. Seems she may have met up with the raccoons in our back yard who we've seen the past couple of weeks.
Colleen had to spend the night with sarah at the hospital in Niagara Falls (there were no beds in Welland Hospital) and won't be released till at least 5pm today, so I am chauffeur and trying to concoct a big soup supper (clear out the frig!!).
have to run, Em's school choir is singing at the local shopping centre and we must attend . . .
give me strength.
Hugs all round, mary

Well done Ben and good to see you posting.

Hi all

I am beating my OCD. I think when you doubt good things, that shows that it is just the OCD trying to play tricks with you.

As said I have proven the emigration of my 3xgreat grandfather Thomas Musgrave beyond doubt. Him living with his daughter in the 1900 US census is concrete evidence.

As said it is proven so much that doubts shouldn't enter my mind.

Ben

Hi Mary, good to see you, even if you are 'looking' a little harrassed. I hope that Sarah has recovered from the latest seizure, are they getting more prolonged and frequent? What do the hospital say? How far off are you from getting the dogs now? What is the next fund raiser? Glad you did quite well last weekend, even if not as good as you hoped.

It sounds as if she is trying to push you to see how far she can go, in fact a typical teenager. Try not to let it upset you, or at least don't let her see that it does. Set your boundaries and stick to them. If you can't afford something, tell her you can't. If she gripes about it treat her like an adult when she is in a calm mood and go through the finances with her so she can see what you can and can't afford. You are the adult here, let her see it, and don't let her blackmail you with threats of not coming home. If you have said she is not getting the ipod, mean it and stick to it, let her know she has to 'earn' presents by pleasant behaviour.

You could also try talking to her teacher as Barbra says her brother and wife did, see if the school has any suggestions, she may be in with a wrong crowd at school who are egging her on.

Not sure how much more i can take with my daughter. I just finding it all too much had a really nice day with her yesterday then today havin paid for her to have her hair highlighted yesterday she demand that i buy her blonde shampoo before she turn ginger, then she calls me lazy because i forgot she said that she owed school money and therefore hadnt given it to her.

She has eaten nothing since yesterday lunchtime when she has 2 tuna rolls wouldnt even have a drink this morning not even made one for her.

I ended up losing my temper with her and saying that she could forget the ipod she was going to get for xmas at which point she went off to school. then a while later she rings me up tells me i am such a dick and that she is never coming home.

I now sit here on my own crying my eyes out not noing what to do and how much more of this i can take.

Morning everyone I hope you all have a good day
Love and hugs
Rachxxxx