General Chat

Claire just sent you a pm, then came on here and got an answer. Yes you did meet Lily. Sounds like you two had a lovely time together. I'm so pleased for you both.

Caz what a shams the people who bought your house have moved in to this problem with the trees. Hope it will soon be settled I'm sure you will feel happier then too. xx

Dutch we have been seeing our Dutch friends been out to lunch today with them ( I had a day off work) their kids have grown up and are so lovely. Brought a friend with them, she has spent all but £10 of her money which should last her two weeks, and they have only been here since Sunday! Hope Rachel is okay. Will ring you soon xx

Liz sorry about the death in your family, and the young lad finding his dad.
How awfull! xx

Deanna these low points are horrible I hope you soon are on the up again xx

Eileen, you have been having a long horrible stretch of being down. I think of you often xx

Wonder if Gail is having a good time. Hope it will give her a lovely lift. xx

Hazel good to see you xx

Ann you too xx

claire, infuriating when that happens when you have typed a long post isn't it?

so pleased that you had a good time in Dublin and how nice to meet up with Lily. i have met some really lovely people off these boards and we always have plenty to say to each other.

Ann
Glos

Hi all, spent ages on here on sun writing a long post then pressed the escape key by mistake and lost it all was too cross to start again so have just got round to popping in again now.
I had the most fantastic time in Dublin and met with our lovely Lily, she is such a kind lady and I throughally enjoyed spending a few hours with her, only trouble wass i wasnt long enough, I think we could have spent hours more chatting and laughing.
Did lots of other things but really felt relaxed and at peace with myself which I havnt felt like for a while, no one to have to look after and being with my friend who I have known for a bout 15 years meant that I felt as I did before the days of responsibility!!
Will definately be going back again sometime soon and this time will arrange to meet up with Lily for longer.
Hope everyone is ok, havnt really had time to read all the posts but send my love to you all
Clair exx

Yes setted, I am alot happier now here, enjoying going out when i can, as much easier for me to do so then where i was be for.

Feels like i have been given my freedom back again.

I am going to get help with losing my mum. Thats what i need to do at the moment.

Its 20yrs since my dad died this month so thinking of him as well. Going to the house where we lived and where we were all born on the day. I find that helps.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

Hazelx

Hazel, things will get better for you now I am sure as you sound so much more settled.

Deanna, thinking of you love, can't do anything to help you sadly but i am sending you a big cyber ((((((((((hug))))))))))

Liz, must go and read the garden thread, glad you are being able to get around and see gardens. Mine suffered a bit yesterday as we had extremely heavy rain for over an hour. Hoping it will perk up again today as the sun is shining at the moment. Although more rain is promised.
Lily, so pleased you had a good time in ireland and that it obviouslyw as a tonic for you.

Eileen, hope your daughter enjoyed her time on her own and your grandaughter her birthday.

Caz, It does sound as if the new owner of 'your' house is going to look after the garden and sort out the neighbours. It is not your worry any more, let him handle it. Enjoy your new home and doing another tree.

ann
glos

Yes Deanna i can feel very down without reason to it.

But i think it is to do with mum as with putting a picture of mum up which was the last one taken be for she died, plus with sorting out i got things of mums. And moving away from where she lived. Plus got the money that she lefted us at last. So think its just all things at once just hit me hard.

I have friends like you all here plus others live far away so it only by phone i can talk. But i am meeting a good friend next Saturday that losted her mum and dad in the same week. So as she needs someone thats feeling the same as her. we can help each other.

But i am getting there.But so glad that i am down here now.

Hazelx

Hi Everyone, it has been a very long time since i have been on here but have being reading most of the thread.
I met the most lovely kind person off these threads in Dublin the other day. I had the best time that i have had in a very long time. We walked around town for awhile and had some tea and a long chat. The weather was beautiful, a big change from the day that Claire came it thundered and lightening all night the night before and rained all that day.
She made me feel alive and when i came home i had the best nights sleep in a very long time.The time flew by.
I am sorry for not being here often but i think of everyone all of the time and hope that you all are keeping well.
I hope to be back on again soon and thank you Claire for your present and more the wonderful
day.
LILY






.

This isn't meant to rub it in Caz, but some of you might like to read my long screed on the garden thread, I saw some beautiful ones today and I am so thankful I can still get out and look around me at such lovely sights. I must make more effort to do it often. I said to K now I have to wait two years for these gardens to be open again, as another village we went to a few weeks ago, they usually only do these open gardens for the whole village every two years or when they need funds for the church or something, this time it was the church organ needing repair. I did say I wonder if I will be able to walk round then, and he said Oh you will probably need a wheelchair, well he is such a wuss I can't imagine him pushing me round lol and he would probably find every bump and pothole too but he did apologise and say Oh I shouldn't have said that! Too right mate, I swear if I end up in a chair I shall be most awkward and cantankerous and have him running about for me hither and thither lol

Caz love, try not to worry now, your garden and house are in safe hands if the new owner's action in getting the police involved is anything to go by and those horrible neighbours will get their comeuppance, they have kicked themselves in the teeth this time! I bet they were smug till the Police got involved and now they are running scared! This will show em they can't mess people about forever and get away with it. I am sure that chap will be able to replace lots of the trees and bushes and get them growing where he wants them for the birds, as soon as possible and he will shut those miserable beggars right out, they won't dare try and stop him doing anything he wants! So try and stay calm, if it came to a court case, you could get a doctor's letter to say you couldn't attend, if that was even necessary, a letter or statement from you could be read out and suffice and P. could go along and tell the court what happened to corroborate your story.

Try and lose yourself a bit in doing Carol's tree when you can, to keep your mind occupied and just start enjoying your flat and your life as much as you are able.

Deanna, I know, I am the same, it was always, Oh Liz is the strong one, she can cope, my brothers never offered help and I was always the one called on for my parents, as I wasn't working full time, no only part time and trying to cope with a child alone, whereas one brother is a partner so can take time off when he wanted, and no kids but a wife to get a meal at home while he is out helping family, other bro the same, he is his own boss so could have taken time out, but both of them too busy making loads of money to be thoughtful or take any responsibility.
Oh well I have nowt to thank them for and nor has my son, and we help each other now. Would be nice for someone to see when I am down tho and be nice, K is such a thicko I would have to put it in writing and he would have to read it a dozen times before it sunk in lol!

Heyho, such is life.

Love to all and hope the weather is a little gentler this week,
Lizxx

p.s. Eileen, sorry I missed your post, hope your daughter enjoyed her time alone, I know how she feels about having time to just be her! Hope little g.granddaughter had a lovely 4th birthday and you are ok. Hugs for you, love.

Oh Deanna love, we are all listening to you, the problem with me lately is that I selfishly thought about my own problems with the trees. The whole thing has upset me terribly and hubby can't understand why I am not excited about the sale of the house and the money in the bank.
The thing with men is they are not designed to notice things around them, woman have to notice all the little subtle changes in their family to keep their family safe and healthy. That's why you notice when your men are not 100%, it's programmed into us women.
I have stopped crying as much now, I think it was the anticlimax when everything was over and finished after all the rushing about packing and moving.
One good thing is that Carol the warden has asked me to do her family tree, she has gone to Manchester this weekend to find out as much as she can for me to start. That will keep me occupied, I tried to do more jobs to keep the flat nice, but then found I was exhausted so had to cut back on them.

Liz Cocky likes a spray but only when he wants it, he won't go in his bath for a splash about but does like a drenching when he has a spray. I have to keep spraying until he has had enough, he keeps coming and touching spray bottle with his beak if I finish before he wants. Then he likes the hair drier on him just like I have, only far away so it's cool, he's a real character.

Mary it sounds as if you mean to keep busy whatever you do lol.

I don't fancy any tea so I am off now for a slice of strawberry cheesecake and cup of tea.

Love and hugs to all

Caz xx

Oh Caz ... must stop calling you Carole, I must be confusing everyone...
However, I am so glad that the new people in your old home have called the police.
I am not, and never was, a vindictive person, but, in this case I am looking forward to someone having their wings trimmed!!
The mood I am in, if you have a greavance.... all queue behind Caz and I will order painful punishments to me meted out.
AND... you are quite right Liz... why doesn't anyone ever KNOW what is wrong with us when we are in a state??
I am not trying tosay that I am *wonderful* BUT, I am quite good at seeing what is wrong with 'my people' when they are low.
I just seem to be invisible....
The size of me, you would imagine that to be
an impossibility!

When I was young, I was ALWAYS considered able.

The world and its sisters would get help if their children were ill.... ME?
Even the doctor would say... "You can cope Deanna... call me if you need me!"
I NEEDED YOU THEN!!!
I OFTEN NEED YOU NOW!

Oh well, no need to shout, no one is listening anyway.

You seem to be the same Mary.. carry on girl, you are doing well... but.....
Does anyone even notice that you are bloody exhausted?

Coffee time now... okay Mary... want one?

Deanna XXX

Liz the tree incident is still ongoing now. We had a visit from a policeman yesterday about it, the new owner called in the police as he's calling it wilful damage or something like that. The neighbours said we gave them permission to do it, of course we didn't, we said they could trim tops of bushes and leave the trees alone. As you know I am a bird lover and who in their right mind would say cut all the leaves and branches off and just leave the trunks sticking up? Plus the wrens and blackbirds nested in the bushes lower down garden which have all been pulled out. Policeman said they have taken advantage of the house being empty to do what they wanted to their advantage. He said he doesn't know why buyer didn't do anything sooner as he was the first to see it. We thought he had accepted it as he didn't pull out of the sale as we expected him to. I am only hoping it doesn't end up in an arguement and court as that will be the end for me, I wouldn't be able to cope. We put up with their lying and nastiness to get their own way and thought we were rid of them at last, they've given us a real goodbye kick in the teeth haven't they.
This new owner is angry and by all accounts not a man to cross so I hope next doors will get their comeuppance.

Love and hugs to all

Caz xx

Mary, lovely that you found things to cheer Gareth up too and hope you got the chest of drawers lol oops, just re read your post and it says 'instead'!

Had to laugh about the strawberries as I am about to tuck in but I don't throw the leaves on the floor lol, straight into the compost container they go, ready to go in the c.bin tomorrow. The youngsters are doing well with their letters and numbers etc, coming on in leaps and bounds especially Gareth eh?

I have just been outside and lo and behold, there are two hedgehogs tucking in, have just put some more food out as it needs using up and sharing it wouldn't have meant much for either hedgehog. See my thread 'Typical' I thought the hedgehog I saw earlier was smaller than usual, he must have reccied out the place first and went back and got the big one who was here all week. I got several pretty good photos altho a bit lopsided as I was shooting into the darkness lol
Oh dear, I was so looking forward to making o.h.'s sarnies next week, lol, now I won't have enough catfood lol

Deanna, I do hope you can find some way out of your dark times, it's awful when you know you feel so low but can't explain why and if someone asks, you want to clock them one, because they should just know and understand, SHOULDN'T THEY?!!!!

I think many of us use food as a comfort - I have been so good and resisted a box of chocs the neighbours brought me home for watering their garden while they were away, I know once I open the box I won't be able to stop eating, same with biscuits, open the pack and they're gone!
That's why I try to have fruit and such handy or make myself drink some weak squash or something instead of eating first, if I still need comfort after a drink, I will have a biscuit or such but try so hard cos I need to lose some weight. I have just remembered I left a sausage at dinner and now it is niggling at me, so I better just eat it out of the way and s*d the little red devil on my shoulder lol

Y.Caz, hope you can put the tree incident behind you now and concentrate on yourself to find something that can help you get through the painful times. It is amazing that you have got this far so quickly with moving and selling the house etc so you now have a lot less paperwork etc to cope with.
It's good that you know so many people nearby and hopefully can enjoy their company when you see them or they call in.
take care, and hope Cocky is ok with this heat, do you spray him? Mum used to spray her budgie sometimes, he loved it.

take care everyone,
hope to catch up with some calls next week
love
Lizxxx

Would you believe it, went to IKEA for a chest of drawers, and came home with other stuff instead, including a small hanging lamp for Gareth's room, it's hung up now and reflects stars and moon on his bedroom walls, he's so happy, shouting 'outer space, outer space'. Got up in the morning and saw a line of green things on the kitchen floor, wasn't sure what they w ere without my glasses. Apparently sarah had ate her way through a whole big box of strawberries and dropped the leaves as she walked.LOL. She stunned us today, counted to 20 and recognised all the numbers. then Gareth recognized 22 randomly selected. letters out of the 26 in the alphabet - progress is slow but consistent.
It's 9:30pm and I am ready to put my feet up!!
Night all,
hugs
MAry

Deanna, it is absolutely OK to have these bouts, who wouldn't with what you have suffered the past year. You've shown your strength of character and mind, but you are allowed to be angry or depressed over what has happened. That's today's situation. You are trying so hard but so frustrated. I'll be over as soon as I can with a banana split sundae for you. Looks good . . . and obscenely delicious. Now there's an issue - why do I always think food fixes things ????????? I also think of food when I recall various relatives - she made a great sponge cake, someone else a walnut cake, etc etc
Apparently food is an important issue in the depths of my mind.
Have to run now, heading to IKEA for a chest of drawers for Emlyn.
Deanna just know we care,
Huge hug,
Mary

Mary... coffee at 3 O'clock.. okay?
And Tony brought us a date and walnut loaf to go with it, loverly juberly... and you are welcome.

I came on to tell you all just how bad I am feeling today.
Isn't that kind of me?
I am here to pass on my deep depression.

I am trying to laugh it off, which is my wont, but just not easy today.
Nothing has happened.
There SHOULD be no misery in me, but there is!
I have been crying on and off ALL DAY so far.
I feel so damned miserable.
If I had the problems you have Mary, or the pain some of you have I would not feel so guilty.
BUT... I am feeling... get this... LONELY.
I want to go out, I want to be ABLE TO go for a walk.
I want to stop being fed up.
I want to get up in the morning and do my housework with a song on my lips as I used to.
I want to get out of the house.
I want to go out ALONE.
I don't want a bloody wheelchair stuck to my back side where ever I go when I am out.
I want to stop crying.
I want to be able to do my own cooking again.
I want to do my own shopping again.
I want to .........name it and I want it.
Moan over, but misery still here.
AND... I don't want to answer the phone every time it rings, in fact I wish it would STOP ringing for a couple of days.

Ah well... perhaps I may feel a little lighter after all that moaning, but I doubt it.

Tony keeps asking me what is wrong, but I just say... "nothing"... he knows I'm lying, but how can I pass on my misery to Allan and Tony?
What good would that do?
It would only depress them and I would still feel low.

OKAY...Now that I have made you miserable, I will go and watch a film with Allan.
My life is SO exciting.
See you later when I have come through the other end of this mood I am in.
Sorry if I made you feel bad, but I did need to talk.
Thank you Carole for starting this thread and giving us a place to vent out pain when we need to.

Love to all and I hope you are all feeling better than I do toady.
Love Deanna XXXX

Well, apparently I am losing my mind, my ultrasound (shoulder - related to my flight over the tomato cages a month ago, still very limited with pain,Dr thinks there is a tear ) is next Thursday not today, Meg had a dentist appt today and I mixed the two up. What a nightmare taking megan to the dentist. She was starting to panic en route, bursts into tears in the waiting room (which was full), so I got little Emlyn to go in with her and hold her hand, as I had the other 3 with me.. They took her in almost instantly and Em was asked to help the hygeinist, very pleased with herself and a calming influence (or distraction perhaps) for Megan. Smiles when they came out. And very clean teeth.

It is awfully humid here today, rained a lot the past week, everything is muddy. gareth got loose as soon as I opened the van door at home and went racing down the road with me, Mary and Em in hot pursuit. he ended up in a neighbours garden on their swing. The couple whose home it is helped capture him but it took 3 adults and 2 children to get him stopped & to the car. How a dog would have prevented the experience. That family lost their 21 year old son in a tragic car accident last summer, their other son Adam is severely mentally challenged, and they have a lovely 12 year old daughter, they are coping remarkably well, and very understanding re Gareth. Megan actually was at a training centre with Adam for a couple of years so she knew him instantly. He's still there, where Meg was able to progress to working in the community. Adam could talk your ear off LOL.

YCaz, glad you are reasonably settled, now to get good pain control. You know if I retire I may become even busier as I'll have more time free !!

Deanna I'll be over for a coffee, can smell it from here, love coffee brewing.

Liz, you are also entitled a blue time, come share mine. I'm a bit better today mentally, feel calmer actually, waiting for 3:15 to arrive,when S&G go to therapy for 2 hours and I can get some gardening done. Got a couple of hanging baskets which have already provided some sensory input for S&G - called 'chenille foxtail', pink fuzzy tails, fascinating. 'Acalypha Hispida Sandew' is the correct name, if you google it. Certainly a conversation piece.

Got the insulation in the storage cupboard done yesterday and drywall to be done next week. Unfortunately, just after the man left, the hall ceiling started to drip, Colleen's new toilet upstairs, only a month old, is leaking.

Hope Gail enjoys her time away, I LOVE the sea, and miss it tremendously. I'm trusting she is absorbing some sea air for me.

Eileen enjoy the birthday party, sending hugs, hope your daughter enjoys her free time.

Dutch - such a nice chat with you yesterday, really appreciated. Happy Anniversary too.

Hazel, thinking of you - always a letdown after a move - hugs as you grieve.
ClaireJo how are things with you and your little man - hugs to you too.

Colin enjoy your day shift, nights can be so draining, can't they.

David you are so right about a friendly smile I was in a grocery store today, and a man near me had dreadful body odour, everyone was rolling their eyes at each other, but when miniMary objected to the odour, I told her to try and not react and to smile at the man if he looked her way. perhaps he was finishing work, or couldn't afford deodorant. She did smile at him and his whole face lit up.

I must admit that if things are going well, I find myself waiting for the next bombshell to drop. Have trouble accepting that things could run smoothly once in a while.

I've promised to bake with MiniMary and Em when their sibs are out this aft. My name will be mud if I don't get organised soon.
have a good day all,apologies to those I've missed.
Mary

Hi All, thanks for your comments on trees, I mentioned the law about cutting trees that have nesting birds in it to the estate agent, so if new owner finds eggs or young birds he will do something. Knowing them next door though they will have removed all traces of nests. The completion went through this morning so the house has nothing to do with us now it belongs to new owner, I hope he goes there and gives them a right earbashing about it.

Gail I will have missed you didn't see the thread till today since I last wrote, Hope you have a good time, or should I say had a good time. Yes I agree it is very upsetting when you buy a house for the privacy then found it's gone, we were lucky he still wanted to go through with it.

Treehunter I know what you feel like, it happened to me, I got right down and depressed for no reason, I think it is an anti-climax after all the excitement of moving. Plus you are grieving for your mum.

Mary how super of that man to do that, people do such unexpected things at times don't they. I agree with the others it is time you retired and gave yourself some time to yourself. You are always working at whatever and never seem to rest, hope everything goes to plan for you. I'm being short in my replies as my fingers are hurting again.

Can't remember who asked about my new neighbours but they are all ok so far, I only know Keith next door and Kathleen opposite, then Vera next to her, of course my friend Marie who I have known for years. All the front doors are spaced alternately along the corridor so we open our door to look at a wall.

Must go and get some salad out of fridge, Hubby will be home soon, he's just popped out for milk.
I haven't seen Ben on here for a while, must be busy with his tree.
Hi to Colin and Deanna and anyone not mentioned.

Love and hugs to all

Caz xx

Hi everyone,

Bejaaaazus, it is HOT here. I put a thermometer on the table in garden yesterday, which only goes up to 40 degrees, but the mercury, or whatever is in it, shot way up past the 40 mark....VERY humid, not pleasant like in Portuagal or Italy, for instance. It is always very humid where we live, when the temperatures soar.

Today is my g.grandaughter's 4th birthday, tomorrow a s.i.l's.He is going with his son Zachaar to Moskow for 3 weeks on sunday.My daughter stays at home and is rather looking forward to be able to do exactly what she wants for the weeks they are away.Have to laugh when she says this.

Hope you all have a peaceful, happy weekend.

Eileen xx

Yorkshire..Carole.... are you kidding?
I did not remember all those names.
Since the stroke, I am lucky to remember my own name at times. ;-0)
I had so many of you on the page, and then I thought of the ones whose names were not there... I agree, I am a genius, but it takes work!
And Carole Y... isn't that illegal what your old neighbour did cutting all the trees down and pulling out bushes?
I am with Ann on this too... sue the %&*^$£*.
What is the matter with some people?

We sit and watch question and answer 'things' on TV ... and these days I answer the questions with a VERY LOUD... NO... or YES... after the contestant answers.
My mind cannot take the thought to my mouth as quickly as it used to anymore.
Are any of you like that?
In fact, do any of you know what the H*** I am talking about? ha ha ha

Yes David, life is often VERY hard and we all suffer at times.
Do you ever sit and wonder though, why some people seem to have SO MUCH luck?
I used to think , if it wasn't for 'bad luck', we would have no luck at all!! ;-0)
I hope life is a little better to you at the moment, although I know you have many worries.
Hi Colin, how are you these days?

Chin up Hazel.
We all do it, things are going quite well and we decide (subconsciously) that it is TOO GOOD... so we get depressed.
Is that how it is with you, or are you truly having problems?
I do know that I don't need a reason to be depressed... it just washes over me at the weirdest times.
I was talking to Tony this morning... and began crying. He then thinks he has done something, and he has done NOTHING.
That is the nature of depression isn't it?

And Carole... the lady next door 'truly' did not know I was there, bless her. I'm sure she would have bought me an ice cream had she known. She is a lovely lady. We don't see much of each other, but will have a chat if we do come in contact... and can we talk. ;-0)

Mary, how wonderful of that man... and his wife I expect, for donating the money for a dog.
Why are you having an ultra sound Mary, or would you rather not say?
What I mean is what do THEY think it is?
I have to say though, about you feeling lo0w, you deserve a *low* period if it makes you slow down, rest, or in any way take time for YOU.
A nice lottery win would be just the thing for you and the children, darling, wouldn't it?

I SMELL THE COFFEE..... wahayyyyy
Off now, coffee, chocolate 'bickie' and all will be well with the world.

See you all again tomorrow if it is as cool as it is today.
We have had a real rain storm today, and it was so beautiful, the smell and the coolness.
I just cannot tell how luxurious it was.

Byeeeee,
lots of love to all,
Deanna XXX

Hi David, I think you are right. A friendly smile can do wonders. Friendly advice is less welcome sometimes, especially when you are struggling. I think I might be a bit older than you so should know by now that things that go down also go up.

Gail, are you really looking forward to snow? I got some photos from Dutch (taken last winter) that looked really beautiful- and cold.

I have a rough idea where Gail lives. To get from her place to the coast I think the road goes up to 1100 metres (3500 feet). It is relatively cold and windy tonight, and snow is predicted at high altitudes.

Mary, good to hear from you. I was getting concerned.

Thanks to Carole, Deanna, YCaz, Hazel and others for your recent updates

I have a night off tonight. Last night, work at the site that I was monitoring was cancelled at 1 am. I was in bed by 2 am. It was supposed to be carried out tonight but has been postponed. So tomorrow (our time) I get to go in for a day in the office. Woo hoo.