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Depression / Anxiety

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Deanna

Deanna Report 29 May 2009 19:13

Hi everyone, I am not going to be on for long but I needed to say HELLO to you all.
I am going through a 'toughy' at the moment. I am also not managing to get through my days without a cry, and rushing to do things.... and not managing to do them.

I have been trying to have a conversation with Liz for a few days now and getting nowhere fast.
My inbox is so full and I need to keep my other pals in the loop too.
SO, all of you... if you are waiting for an e-mail... I am going to answer you, but give me a little time.
And Liz.... I will get around to chatting with you, I have things I want to say... can't shout them out!! ha ha ha

My crying has come to a head, and I am weeping ALL THE TIME..... poor Allan doesn't know if he is on his head or his aspidistra....
He has an appointment on the 1st of June, I have one on the 3rd.... do they really do any good??
Anyway, I am off to watch EMMERDALE, life has to have something wonderful... and my life has Emmerdale! ;-0)
Goodnight everyone, and I hope you are all well and getting better... we all will, but we need time don't we?
love Deanna XXXX

YorkshireCaz

YorkshireCaz Report 29 May 2009 18:03

Wow Colin!! LOL. It's nice to be missed, I missed you all when I couldn't get on, hope Treehunter has better luck with her internet connection.
Great to see you are moving Treehunter, at long last you have what you wanted, I knew we were on the waiting list but when it came it was too quick.
I have to admit to myself now that I am a collector, I wouldn't have said I was, but when I look at the things I brought with me and nowhere to put them as yet, I must be mad.
I have a load of cuttings of Bradford that my dad collected way back, he's been dead 32 years, and I have added to, they are so interesting though because they are of the old town, and customs and buildings that have long gone.
I'll have to have another clear out I think.
I'm a bit fed up at the moment, I have got myself in a muddle with things because I can't be bothered, I misjudged my tablets. I thought I had enough morphine to last me while tomorrow when hubby picks my new lot of tablets up. I have 18 items on repeat so order half of them two weeks apart, I misjudged the amount I had of morphine and run out of the 10mg on Tuesday, I take 50mg twice a day so have only been having 40. I'm using my quick acting morphine capsules at a great rate so will run out of those as well.
It is so hot in the room today, it's showing over eighty, and usually gets worse as the evening wears on, I used to keep central heating thermastat at 18 which was comfy for me, can't do with this heat in the flat. Oh sorry, I'm having a right old moan.

Love and hugs to all.

Caz xx

Carole

Carole Report 29 May 2009 17:25

Can't stop to chat but just to let you all know Liz can't get on her computer at the mo. xxx

maxiMary

maxiMary Report 29 May 2009 05:27

LIZ please do not feel guilty because I've taken some small steps. It took me weeks to start. There's still a lot to do, I am NOT out of the woods yet.
I often look at stuff I've moved from place to place, and when my mood is 'up', I can rationalise that it's nonsense to hang on to it all, then I'm 'down' and it all gets stuffed away again. I've "cleared" a few antique pieces of china recently when Gareth had a meltdown and threw some of my little china teapots onto the ceramic tile floor before I could catch him, one was from Llangollen, one from Carmarthen, both my grandmother's. Weeks later I can say I had years of pleasure from them, I'm sad they were broken, but monetary value means nothing as I would never have sold them. Not sure what the future will hold for some of the other family treasures - they aren't safe around Gareth and looks like neither Meg nor David will have children. So perhaps I should get rid of some now, before the risk of more breakage. The miniature teapots had been safe in a glass-fronted cabinet, until Gareth rammed his head into one of the doors. Now they are easily reached.
I remember my mother saying 'please don't give me any more things, I've reached the point of giving stuff away, rather than taking in more'. I didn't appreciate that comment at the time. Now I understand, intellectually, but emotional self has a problem letting go.
I'm off to bed, perchance to dream.
'Night all.
Mary

GranOfOzRubySlippers

GranOfOzRubySlippers Report 29 May 2009 04:53

I forgot to mention and thank everyone for understanding about my puss, was looking for him yesterday while feeding the chickens, then put some of his favourite food out for him, it will take some time to get adjusted to.

Colin do not think it is pig flu, maybe bird flu with all my chickens. :))) The flu has been bad in my area over the past few months and everyone that gets it has it for many weeks. Luckily OH has the flu jab and only had a mild dose of the same flu. I had a dose of the hanger on flu then got a different one on top, so has made me a bit sick. If I did not cough all night and was able to get some sleep I am sure I would feel much better.

The biggest percentage of my ancestors came out as convicts, a very few that did not. I does make it interesting though. I have been using a 'Transcription Agent' as it is cheaper than ordering the certificates. I do love having the certificates when I can afford them though. For the early church records that do not have much on them I only pay $12. I am waiting on a batch now and it is still exciting, so understand how Ben must feel. I think we are all the same though and the excitement does not wane.

My Convicts were sent out for being very naughty. Not just for belonging to a society.

Must go and try and fold up last weeks washing.

Gail

Sydneybloke

Sydneybloke Report 29 May 2009 03:27

Wow!!! Caz in Yorkshire is back on air. Great to see you, Carole.
And Hazel is moving at long last. Good luck, mate. I know you have wanted to get out of MK for months (years?). Without being too specific, where are you going?
Just to rave on a bit:
It's great Ben is getting certificates. Been there and done that for my ancestors, now working on rellies and more distant connections. Slowly, as I don't want to spend a fortune.
I need to catch up with my mother's sister, who has done some work on her ancestry but I really don't know how much. She has some Australian certificates but I am not sure which ones (I have some also). She cannot afford GR, Ancestry, Scotland on line etc but if I could get to her place for a longer break I could log on with my user names.
Expect you to feel better, Gail. At least it's not the human/bird/swine flu ... is it?
Eileen, I would love to go to Ireland one day. After all, that is where several of my ancestors came from. And no, they were free settlers, NOT convicts - well most of them. One was convicted and transported by a court in Roscommon for being an Irishman. His crime was "ribbonism", which I interpret as being a member of a ribbon society. A crime in 1820. Fourteen years, but realistically there was never any prospect of returning home. So they stayed.
His death in the parish record gives his occupation as farmer. He may have been a tenant rather than a land-owner but I will chase that up in electoral rolls. One day.

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 29 May 2009 03:04

Hi all, got my things moved, so will sleep better tonight, the last couple of nights, well mornings, I have woken up every hour or so, worrying about getting the storage area empty but now it is done and I have moved the things out so will have to sort lots of the papers out and throw most away I hope, newspaper cuttings etc etc and then decide what I need out of the rest, as well as sort out the rest of my stuff in three other garages and my house! It is so hard tho, Mary has done much better than I have - makes me feel very guilty with all Mary has to do at home as well and at work.

Hazel, lots of luck in your new home, you have been waiting long enough so hope it is all you want it to be.

Caz, take care and have a lovely Anniversary.

I meant to call Kathy by the Sea and haven't had a chance, hope to talk to you soon love, if you are looking in,

take care everyone and enjoy the warm weather.

love
Lizxxxx

GranOfOzRubySlippers

GranOfOzRubySlippers Report 29 May 2009 03:04

I still have not caught up on posts but thinking of each and everyone of you.

Still down with second dose of flu, have had enough and back is very sore as well from constant coughing, I think I am just so low from it all now I cannot see the wood for the trees. I also think asthma is back with a vengeance, usually can control it okay but difficult with constant infections.

I am still in the land of the living, the dreaded h@$#eW%&k has not been done now for weeks, but guess what? it will still be there when I feel better.

Love and hugs

Gail

Thistledown

Thistledown Report 29 May 2009 00:53

Hi Everyone,
Carole i will pm you after Sunday.
Liz, good for you, i was thinking of getting rid of my books , bringing them into a second-hand book shop,getting some money for them as some of them have not even been opened yet but then i think NO cannot before i read them, have lent some out to "friends" but never gotten them back so went to book store and bought same ones again.
MaxiMary, i hope that your daughter Meg had a very happy birthday 28th.
Went into town yesterday and signed a book for all victims of abuse in schools, homes ect. in Ireland 1940s----1990s.
Then went down Harry Street of Grafton Street (posh area) to see the Famous Statue of Philip Parrish Lynott.Missed the strret twice as i had never been around that area before, but it is near Dawson Street where the Mansion House is (where we signed the book) The Lord Mayor lives there.
YCaz it is great to see you on here i will pm you to-morrow, please take it easy, the unpacking will eventually get done as you need it.
Has anybody heard from Joyce (Dutch) as she said that she would pm me, i know that she had a few accidents(falls) and the last thread that she had up was to say that she was doing her packing and another one for Kerry who had lost her dad and his Furenal was one during the week.
Clairejo i hope that you have recovered from the children off school for the Whit week-end, we have our Bank holiday week-end this week coming.
1st june.
Claddagh we have just got a new bridge from Holland to be put over the river Liffey should be finished i think in Sept. I have forgotten the name of it at the moment but will tell you when i remember.
To anybody end everybody that i did not mention i say HI, and take care, will talk soon again.
Bless and take care, sleep well.
Lily.
Edit forgot, Good luck in your new home Treehunter, i hope that it brings you the best of luck.Take care.

Treehunter

Treehunter Report 28 May 2009 23:10

Hi everyone

I wont be around for awhile as moving Saturday.

I wont be on internet for awhile about 10 days, i hope its sooner. but they take they time to sort it all out.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}for everyone.

Speak soon

Hazelx

Benjamin

Benjamin Report 28 May 2009 22:32

Hi

How is everyone? Had a few more ancestor certs arrive.

Ben

YorkshireCaz

YorkshireCaz Report 28 May 2009 18:09

Hello all, sorry I haven't been on here for a while, I am down in the dumps and didn't want moan.
Gail I am so sorry for you losing your pet, I remember losing our beloved old lady nearly three years ago, it's an awful time, but he knew he was loved. I hope your flu clears up soon, you must be so run down that you can't fight it anymore.
Mary I am pleased at you clearing your desk by 2/3. I remember when you started on here how you had an aversion to opening envelopes and such. What a life you have, I love reading your posts and wonder how you manage it all. I don't think I could do half of what you do, and work as well. Best wishes to your daughter tomorrow, I hated my 39th, thought it was the start of middle age.

Eileen I wish they could sort your thyroid out for you quickly, I know how I felt before I got treatment for underactive one. Belated birthday wishes for your daughter, I hope you managed to get in touch.

I had a lovely surprise last week, answered the phone to find Joyce P on the other end. It was so good to hear from her again, she reads this thread sometimes and keeps up with us all and thinks about us, but is not up to posting yet. Toby still takes her for walkies up and down the crescent, I miss hearing her stories about him, and just life in general.

I can't type any more now as my fingers are screaming at me to stop using them. I can't name everyone but think about you all every day, I'll be back to normal soon I hope. Still got a lot of unpacking to do but can't be bothered yet.

Love and hugs to all.

Caz xx

maxiMary

maxiMary Report 28 May 2009 13:29

Dear Gail I know how heartbreaking it can be to lose a beloved pet, sending you a big hug.
Eileen hope you are able to get in touch with your daughter, I join in sending her good wishes. My daughter Meg has a b'day tomorrow ,she's challenged, and tells me "I don't feel old" at 39!! Honey, you don't know 'old' yet . . . . .
It's chilly, windy and rainy today, depressing weather if I look outside. Have a cuppa, and a slice of forbidden (we're only supposed to have gluten-free in the house) olive bread, then a nap. I am really tired even after one shift, thanks to my ballet over the tomato cages a few days ago.
Liz - please note - 2/3 of my desk is clear, the other 1/3 is today's goal - good for you moving the stuff.
off to rest for a while.
Mary

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 28 May 2009 04:14

Hi Eileen, hope you can make contact with your daughter somehow to wish her birthday greetings and also hope she has a nice day. Seems many of us have been affected by the loss of our much loved pets, special thoughts to you Gail, with your recent loss - it's so hard to make the decision we know is right. I miss all my pets, my cats who were all such different characters and my dog too, not been in the position since to take on more pets and it does make you wonder if you can cope with further inevitable losses doesn't it?

I managed to move most of the things yesterday afternoon, took two trips, had to throw out a book which the rat had chomped on, but luckily most of the other things showed no sign of any damage or such, so wiped everything over with wipes containing bleach and have put them in my neighbour's garage, I have to go back today for the rest as next week o.h. will be around in the afternoon and would see me going in the garage up the road. The work is being started on the 8th and they still haven't decided quite how to replace this old timber garage, he is saying portakabin, brick building, shed etc etc so I am not sure if it will be something I can afford to rent, I think he will want too much money. I felt sick with the stress of dealing with everything, complete panic there on my own and could have run screaming and crying from the place but had to bite the bullet and do it, so hope I can get the rest today and also do the many errands I have to do, have a busy few days ahead so won't be able to get there until next week if I don't get it cleared today.

take care everyone, I keep you all in mind even if I don't get in contact individually at the mo.

Lizxxxx

Thistledown

Thistledown Report 28 May 2009 01:31

Hi Claddagh, wish your daughter a very happy birthday from me when you can get in contact with her, please.
Talk soon.
Lily.

Claddagh

Claddagh Report 27 May 2009 20:25

Forgot to add, it is my eldest's ( the handicapped daughter)birthday tomorrow.Can't phone her because there is something wrong with her phone.Isn't it always the same?

Very windy here, the doors are all banging due to badly fitting frames.

Sleep well.

Claddagh

Claddagh Report 27 May 2009 16:26

Good afternoon everyone,

It is very windy here, but dry, what is most important.From tomorrow onwards, we should be having warm, sunny weather, which should lift the
'black clouds' a bit.

Gail, I know how you feel about losing a beloved cat. My cat Lapje had to be put to sleep in the same week that Lady Diana died.Odd way to remember my faithful old lady. I was there for her birth, she was such a loving animal. loved nothing better than being carried around on my arm, with her paws around my neck-STREWTH! She too, had kidney failure.Terrible decision to have to make when her time came....It took me ages to get over this, because my mother had died only a couple of months earlier, and my aunty (both lived with me over here in Holland) was living temporarily in France with my eldest child, who has since become completely handicapped, so things were already stressful enough. Lapje's death was such a blow, on top of all the other things.I could hear 'hear' her walking through the room, as she couldn't draw her claws in anymore, for years afterwards.Gulp!!!! All my children were broken up by this, as they too, had klnown her from her birth, and loved her to bits.Very special cat. I never had one after this, only took on my youngest's eldely cat Hanna when she couldn't look after her any more, Hanna being a really old lady who needed a lot of TLC, more so than most cats. Had to have her put to sleep also after about 5 months. I dare not have anymore cats since.


My sincere thanks to all those who have sent me such nice,kind e-mails and p.m's. Sorry, but I am still doing battle with my demons, and hope that things will settle down soon.

The meds. I am taking for the thyroid problem are still not sorted. This is going to take time and patience. At first it seemed to go sooo well, but then the thyroid started working the other way round. Instead of being far too rapid, the meds. made it work far too slow.So, it is a case of trial and error. Hope things start to work out as they should in another couple of months.

Colin, what you say about bee and wasp stings is true. Poor old bees, oonce they sting you, they die. I hate the idea of this. Wasps, the little b*****s are another kettle of fish. They can sting you and continue on to do the same to other unfortunates....rotten s**s. Have had far too many encounters with them, and lost the battle, even though I never panic and wave arms or anything when they approach me, which they DO.

Went to visit my daughter in her Dacha, as she calls it, (she is married to a Russian, and is the one who drove her car into a ditch months ago), on sunday, the hottest day so far.It took 'only' about 2 and 3 quaters of an hour to get there, with 4 differnent train changes, the way back took me from 18.00 until 21.40, so my brain, or the poor excuse for a brain, was fried, so to speak. Terrible journey. All trains were completely packed, you almost had your elbows in each other's nose, so to speak, and ALL were delayed, which meant missing all connections. Can't say I will be making THIS journey often.PHEW. Have to admit that the area was great, really peacful, almost old-fashioned, but the journey....

My youngest g. son is coming here for 3 days and night next month, whilst his parents go away together for a while. I love him to bits, but he is an extremely difficult little child. Have ever come across this before with any of my own children or g.children. The last g.grandchild I had for very long periods was such a difference. Mid you, I was about 9 years younger then. and he was a very easy child.......

Hope everyone is having a much more peaceful, happy time now, with (hardly) any stressful ordifficult times.

Good luck to you all and P.G you all are able to relax and enjoy life...


Love. Eileen xx

Carole

Carole Report 27 May 2009 07:29

Gail I'm so sorry about your deeply loved cat. I know you will feel lost without it following you about. You had to make a disission and what you did was for the best reason. Puss is now at peace xxx

Liz sounds very stressfull for you. Hope everything works out soon xx

Alison nice to see you there xx

Just a quick look in before I go to work. Yesterday was a real struggle. I think it was with the bank holiday long weekend.

Love to you all

Alison

Alison Report 27 May 2009 04:59

Oh Gail,

So sorry to hear about your cat. I hope you have somewhere beautiful to place him to rest. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Alisonxx

GranOfOzRubySlippers

GranOfOzRubySlippers Report 27 May 2009 04:27

Had to make the very difficult decision to have one of our beloved cats put to sleep today. He had kidney failure and even though I knew it was coming and was doing the right thing, does not make it any easier.

He used to follow me every day when I fed the chickens, he always got there before me, the last couple of weeks I have had to wait for him to catch up, and I am not very fast. He was a loving friend and I miss him so much already. We brought him home with us.

I am very down today.

Gail