General Chat

I try not to hoard things but have a bit of a problem with grocery shopping.My kitchen is full of tins,jars,dried fruit.It is mostly things I use but I will get an extra one,two,dozen "while they are this price".I think it is more meanness than ocd.

I don't think I am ocd,my mother certainly was,partners mother is and I think he may be too.If you grow up in a house full of heaps it is what you know.

We both approach things in a different way.I don't do top dressing.I find homes for things and,until I have done this,they lie about. Would sooner turn a room right out than go round with a duster,thus leaving the dust to be a foot thick.

He will clear a space into a heap at the side and cover the heap up.I am blatant about my heaps!

maybe with the hoarding type there is Gail. maybe the start of somebody hoarding is treasuring something that is only theirs, a sort of replacement for love. not sure if that makes sense.

Ann in glos, I think you are seeing more ocd as people are coming out and saying that is what they have. There is still stigma about mental illness, and that is what ocd is. I did not tell anyone for years only my OH, it even took a lot for me to admit on here, because of peoples opinions. Now I do not care. Carole's is ocd but as I said at the lower end of ocd, though it is very different, ocd is different for each person. At times I get stuck like our Ben, but have also had years of practice to control it and can now stop it very quickly.

What I would like to know is, is there a connection with ocd and having a narcissistic parent?

Gail

Hi, especially Hi to Liz, soooo god to see you on here. Well at least you get a Valentines card etc from your OH, mine long ago decided it was too commercialised and he was not going to buy cards or flowers. we did go out for a wetherspoons lunch on Saturday but that was it. still I am used to it now.

Carol,, Gail, Ben, Liz it does seem as if there are more OCD sufferers around than we realise. didn't use to hear anything about it but I assume once they gave it a name they could pin it on people. I do tend to hoard things but not excessively and if newspapers, magazines and books can go to a good home or a useful one as with recycling I am happy to let them go. But it does help me to understand the problem. I find it more difficult to put your problem into that slot though Carole, yours seems to me more like a phobia (of wanting the loo when out).

Have to wait in today for something being delivered for OH - he has gone to golf, so I will be stressed until they come in case I don't hear the door.

Liz, so pleased that your clothes will be clean at last!!!!

Ann
Glos

I'm here stressing! But have to get ready to go! see you all later.

Kathy I know I owe you a reply to your pm, will get back to you later xxx

hi folks, just to let you know I seem to be back on line but not sure if all will be well as have to go a roundabout route to get into aol, o.h. worked very hard on getting things sorted as he knew how stressed I was getting, missing you all.
New washing machine being delivered on Tuesday so will be able to catch up with laundry and easier to get it dry - it should be drier as it comes out as have ordered a machine with higher spin speed than we had before, and he is at work from 2-10pm so can have stuff hanging around to finish off without him complaining!

Will try and catch up with everyone more as soon as I can, it's been so hard with him around all the time, so I have lots of phone calls to make and things to do while he is at work this week.

He did cook dinner for me on Valentine's evening and Sunday evening, cos he bought far too much steak to eat at one meal lol Had a card that said it all, lol, was to 'My funny little Valentine' (that made me laugh, 14 stone me, litte?) and then it said 'In our own weird way we're perfect together!' Hmmm, more than weird and defo not perfect but never mind, was better than slush and fibs! Had tulips the day before to cheer me up cos I had said how fed up I was that all the times we had been out that week we had just been looking at washing machines, and I had had no chance to do anything I wanted to do, and he did buy me coffee and a teacake one afternoon lol Also got a box of chocs!

Glad to hear everyone is coping well and supporting each other.
There was a piece in the Take a Break mag this week about hoarding and ocd and struck a chord!


take care all,
see you later I hope
love
Lizxx

p.s. Betty, if it was you trying to call me the other evening, you kept cutting off the call at the beginning of the landline answerphone message so I didn't get time to pick up the phone. The answerphone is on all the time so whoever calls, just start talking or say who you are and it gives me enough time to get to the phone. We were out when you left one message earlier on saying you would call later.
Oh and Carole, hope my call to you didn't flummox you too much, it was great to chat.
Finally found out it was our Carolb who called earlier, was running out of Carol's to call back to lol

Have not been on much over the last week. Why? Have been chasing demons. A close work mate of OH died in a car accident, as a passenger. So have been trying to be supportive of OH and it has been difficult. Such a young man as well, just starting life. It just seems like so many funerals lately. OH planted a tree in our yard in his memory.

Carole and Ben, I know what it is like with ocd, my advice is to not hate it, yourself or others. It is part of who you are. I gave up fighting it years ago, embraced the fact that is the way it was and now ocd lives with me under my terms. It does try to control my life at times, but I just try not to let it get a good hold on me. I use it now, when I feel like it is getting the better of me, I let it loose for a while and just work on my tree or do transcription work. It is amazing how much I get done. Once you do accept that you are this way it does not have the hold or control or the power to control the way you think or act.

I would not like to explain to a male this problem Carole, but it may surprise you once you open up how helpful he may be. It also appears Carole that you are at the lower end of the spectrum of ocd, that is a good thing. Sound strange I know. I only just found out from older brother he is a horder, I know my dad was but not my brother. He also told me he is able most of the time to control it. I am also a horder but can control it to a degree as the clean freek takes over, so do manage to get rid of things, though not easy. Had a problem with newspapers and magazines at one stage, but now with recycling it is much easier, as I know it is not wasted. If you want to talk, please do so as you know I am here for you anytime.

Eileen, wishing you hardworking grandson lots of luck, hope it works out for him.

Last week we had 40 c and now down to 15 c, such a huge slump in temperature. We have also had rain, luckily not as much as some in the state who had 200 mils, 8 inches. One part of the state had 400 mils in 2 days, probably their annual rainfall in such a short time. So we have gone from bushfires and worry about bushfires to flooding in just a very short space of time. It is difficult to get adjusted to.

Hope Liz get her computer fixed soon as miss seeing her around.

love and hugs to all and be kind to yourselves.

Gail

Ben my problem is always bad on a Sunday when I have work the next day! Tomorrow we have to go to Crowland the furthest we go, and guess who will be on the loo too many times to mention in the morning, just as I should be going out. Then where I leave my car I'll be going in to use their loo, until I really can't make them wait any longer for me but I still haven't settled.
I hate it just like you do. But I can't let the thoughts go. Not easy is it mate. But we have to keep trying. I feel like I'm trapped in this body with a tortured mind. No one wants to keep hearing about it. So I suffer it alone. It makes me angry sad and hateful.
But it's no one else's fault. Goodness I feel so tense tonight. When will it end? I have only been taking one of my 20mg tablets instead of two, because half the time I forget them altogether, so I thought I'd cut down to one. I'm due for a visit to the Dr in March for a reassessment. And waiting for cbt with a bloke hell how do you talk to a strange man about how you are obsessed with the loo? I wish I could just curl up and stay home.
Anyone got the winning numbers for the next lottery draw?

Ben love, it is not her fault, don't hate her, she doesn't know you or what you suffer with and hate is such a negative emotion. Don't think of her with hate, don't think of her.

Eileen, Carole is right the hash key is the # key.

Ann
Glos

Hi

I often look at that girl with hatred for all the grief that she has caused me by me seeing her on the TV and flaring my OCD. I felt sick, tired and unable to eat and cope. She wouldnt care if she knew, its no skin off her nose.

Ben

eileen going to tell what the hash key is but can't find it!! I'll put the light on. .................. got it,,,,,, # , there thats one xx

Afternoon everyone,

We were supposed to have dreadful weather from today on, but the sun has been shining up till now.Am always glad when the weather people are proved wrong-not when it rains/snows instead of (forcaste) sunny weather though.
Ann, how lovely to read what you said about 48+ years and knowing who the Valentine is.It touched me, sentimental old fool that I am.Before I married, my ex. came over in february during his school's holiday break.I had received a big bunch of flowers via Interflora and thought they were from him, so thanked him.He was furious with me, they were from??? I never did find out.That was the one and only time I got anything for V day.
BYW, what is a so-called 'hash key' on a phone?
Carole, you certainly don't do things by half, this cold of yours has been hanging on for a long time now. I did feel bad for not posting, can't explain why I didn't, but I tend to crawl into the big black hole and hope/wait until things get better.
Mary, thank goodness that tyre story ended well. You certainly have your hands full all the time!!
My grandson Douglas has to go to Nuenen (where the painter van Gogh came from) tomorrow, because he has an interview at a hotel/restaurant to do work experience for his college. I don't mind, it's only about a 25 minute drive from here, depending on traffic.If he gets his driving licence next month, he can drive himself there.He has already has been working in several other places-not paid of course-and also works at a vegetarian restaurant in Eindhoven to earn some money, so had plenty of practice.
His friend from babyhood went to Mexico with 3 other lads a couple of weeks ago, and was involved in a car accident when he''d been there a few days.He was thrown out of the car, which was speeding, was the only one injured.He came home yesterday.Phew, we all got a bad scare.
My daughter Eleanor mailed me from her work on friday to say she bumped into a cyclist..If you saw how many bikes there are on the roads, especially when kids are going to and coming home, it is suprising that there are relatively few accidents.Apparently, a crowd of kids crossed the main road, one boy stayed behind, but decided to race across at the last second, didn't even check to see if a car was coming.He was only about 1-2 meters away, so she slammed on the breaks and said s prayer.Only touched his mud guard, but they were both badly shaken by the experience.She said she shed some tears when she finally could get going again.

Am going to give her a hand with the washing later on, but will first see to things here.

Here's wishing you all a good day, nice and peaceful.

Eileen xx

Ben I hope you have got over this obsesion. It wasn't really the girl was it? You are doing very well to recognise when an obsesion is trying to take over your thoughts and stop them. Well done Ben xx

Thanks Ann I'll pass the photo on to you xx

that's good Ben, she almost doesn't exist now does she?

Hi

I am feeling better now. This TV advert girl is not recognisable really. There are many, many girls her age who lok very similar to her and she would not be recognised in real life just for being on 1 commercial as she is not a familiar face on TV. And they use all make up and lighting in adverts as well as computer wizardry.

Ben

Hello everyone, we don't actually buy anything for Valentines day in this house, after 48+ years we know who are valentine is. We did go out to lunch today though, only to Wetherspoons but my scampi was lovely and the bottle of wine was nice too. OH had Chicken Tikka and now stinks of garlic!!!!

I have been trying to learn how to use my new phone which I bought on Wednesday. Talk about making my brain hurt! why aren't all phones the same? the space function is on the hash key instead of my old phone where it was on the 0, it does make things difficult for texting. Also the keys are very stiff so I have to watch very closely when texting or I get gibberish.

Claire, bet your pup was tired after that run on the beach.

Mary, quite a traumatic outing for you that ended well. pleased that granddad enjoyed his meal.

Ann
glos

Carole, e mail me the photo of your daughter the one with red eyes if you still have it and I will see what I can do with it and send it back to you.

Ann
Glos

Found oh had left me a big bunch of flowers and a card on his way out to work this morning. Good job I got him a bar of chocolate for when he comes home.

Felt a bit poorly yesterday, head ache and no strength, not so bad today. Still this cold is hanging around on my chest. One more week at work and I have two weeks holiday which we booked off last year, hoping to go away for my birthday, but we can't afford it, so not going anywhere!

My daughter has come home for the weekend. It's lovely to have her here. I got a lovely photo off facebook of her but she has red eyes. I printed one and coloured in the eyes all but the pupil but it still looks wrong! Any ideas how I can make her eyes look more brown and real?

Hope you are all okay, no posts after Mary's yesterday. It worries me! xxxxx

Hi everyone
Carole I don't know why anyone would be nervous of meeting a chubby old lady, I'm as harmless as they come!! Seriously I understand these panic situations, had one today myself. Driving all 4 kids by myself, because I had to pickup Megan, and just before I reached our meeting place I heard the most awful noise coming from the front of my van. Drove almost 2 miles before stopping, and dang I had a totally flat tire. Megan's boss who had brought her, had coverage for road service so she called and they came after 45 minutes. I had been in such a state for the 2 miles before I stopped. Worrying about being stuck with all the kids, the risks of them escaping from the van etc etc.Worrying about how much a repair would costs, how much a taxi would cost etc etc. Shaking like a leaf.
The service man arrived and put on my spare, but I had about 5 miles to drive to the station where I bought the tires. So Megan's boss took her and 2 kids home, in case I had to call a taxicab to get me home. Anyway the tire was repaired, put back on and when I got the invoice,nearly fell off my feet, the total was $0. never occured to me that there would be no service charge because they were purchased there.
Well my goodness, last evening, Granda surprised us. Not only did he enjoy his Hawaiian pizza, but he'd never tried chicken wings before (he's a meat and spuds fella). He agreed to try one, then reached for a second, then kept going till the box was empty LOL. He didn't think about going home till 7pm believe it or not. Longest he's stayed in at least a year.
Poor Mary was lying on the sofa most of the evening and has been home from school today, as were the other 3. Mary looks miserable, but her temp is finally down. Sarah has a dreadful cough. They have a school day off tomorrow and Monday is a statutory holiday so it's a 4-day weekend. perhaps we'll manage to make it to the 'sugar bush' for breakfast one of these weekends. Hay rides, pancakes dripping with maple syrup, scrambled eggs etc etc Yummy. And fun for a few hours. I have to work this weekend so may be smarter to wait a week. Just want to wear off some of their energy, it's a big mud puddle in the back garden, cannot let them out there, bad enough with the dogs going out and rolling in the mud, creating little brown footprints across the floor.
Must run and tend to my patients, it's 7:45pm and Sarah has already gone to bed, unheard of before 9pm - hope she won't be up in the night, after going to so early. I have 2 other sickies down here with me, so we may all be in bed early for a change.
Night all, thanks for all the support I've received over my little great-nephew, he will be much-loved, a unique little personality.Can't wait to hug him and his Mummy.
MaryXXX

A woman I work with is about 22 stone divorced with a daughter of about 15. This woman comes across as bubbly and confident and funny. But she told me she makes jokes before others do about her. She is really a nice woman but I didn't like her at first I think because I thought she was happy and I have all these problems. I was jealous. Funny isn't it. Now she is off ill I miss her and truly hope she is back at work soon. So Ben, what I am saying is Deanna is right, don't judge a book by it's cover.