General Chat

AND GAIL......... I forgot to mention you love.
I will PM you I am not ignoring you.
I had so much to say to you and you were very helpful to me.
It eased my mind a bit knowing that there was a reason.
O.M.G.... you must be wondering what the h*** I am on about! ;-0)
love Deanna XXX

Hi Caz... Please forgive me for not keeping up with you as you know I am having a tough time just managing MYSELF. ha ha ha
ME... the woman who is reputed to have the ability to be able to *sleep on a barbed wire fence* ... is not sleeping these nights!! :-( But I do still think of you. You have had a dreadful time and I have neglected you... sorry love.
the same goes for all you others who may think that I don't care.
I DO but I am often not able to type at all.. not even badly.
I even managed to lose my ABC Check and exhausted myself looking for it and replacing it. I cannot work without it these days. A stroke is definitely NOT mans best friend ,but I must be very thankful for the fact that I have been very lucky..... this time.

I am crying a lot these days and if there was a reason I would be able to handle it better. I'm often very short with Allan and Tony and I don't mean it, it is just the way things come out of my mouth these days.

I do think of you all all the time but I am just not able to join in most days.
My SIL (Allan's sister) had an operation on her wrist (carpal tunnel) and it went bad. She had to have antibiotics (or as they are known in our house... ANTI BIONICS) and she is still in pain after a week and a half. I had an e.mail from her husband telling me that it had been done... and I did not reply, then had another on the 1st of the month to tell me how bad she was.... and I only just phoned her this morning.

I feel very bad about it but I am just not 'with it' these days.
I will be fine again in a day or two, but I feel bad about being so neglectful of my friends.
SORRY all of you. I am able to forward things which I am sent. That does not take much thinking on my part.

So.... see you all when I am able (although I did well here!) and don't think I am not interested in you all.... I am.

Lots of love to all,
look after yourselves and stay nice and warm and rested.
Your Thick friend
Deanna XXX

Whitenancy, my advice is to go to the appointments that you have. It is still medical, your general health depends on it. As you probably already know physiological conditions can also affect your physical health.

Really it is no ones business why you are going. How much you tell them is up to you, I would tell them as little as possible, but that is my choice.

Long term it will be beneficial to your job, as you will start to feel better about yourself you work performance will improve.

Could you organise with your supervisor to make up the time you will be away for appointments? Are they flexible enough to do this for you? It is worth a try.

Good for you though seeking this help. It took a bit for me to come to terms with, I do know a few of us on here have grown up and live with narcissism all our lives. Until Sharron put up her thread I knew nothing of this. I was physically ill when I first read about it, by then my mother was gone. I was also 57 years old. Just knowing was such a help for me. I have had counselling through out my life and now realise the problems I had were based from the effects of narcissism. I do not think it is widely recognised.

Good luck Whitenancy with what you choose to do with the timing of appointments, I would go for the day counselling though as you will not have to wait for your appointments at a latter date.

Gail

PS I cannot be on much as PC does not like the heat.

This is the first time we have had these conditions for twentyish years.Many drivers are too young to ever have encountered them and others too old ever to remember what to do in them.

You were right and just be glad you don't have to pay his insurance.

As for the counselling.We were brought up to believe that any help we had with anything was pure self-indulgence and due entirely to our own shortcomings.IT IS NOT.

Good luck to you both.

Claire I told my supervisors why I wanted time off,... for visits to a psychologist. It's no different to any other health issue. These appointments are not easy to come by, and waiting lists are very long. Soon to be seeing CBT's I'll be having more time off.
I wouldn't tell them why I was having these sessions, in fact at first I didn't know it was the result of my upbringing. Just knew I needed help. It's up to you if you want to tell them why. Good luck.

Got to work today about half hour away (Newark), working closer to home tomorrow, but remember another year going to same place it took an hour to get out of Lincoln! Nearly had a crash on way home tonight I checked my mirrors before moving out to overtake a lorry that was throwing up so much spray it was making it difficult to see. I heard a car horn looked in mirror to see lights flashing me. He got along side me and gestured so I gave him a gesture back! He went off at high speed, which he must have been doing to appear so fast from nowhere. So he has to take some blame for driving so fast in those conditions.

Hope you are all keeping warm.
Nice to see Colin back x

Do they know it is for counselling? It could be something you might die of for all they know.Milk it,make them think it is.

i know strictly speaking it none of their business but it is a small office only about 8 people so my absence would be noticed and commented on. I dont know about supervisor she is very prejudiced and intolerant full stop

Would it be legal for them to stop you going for any other kind of medical treatment regularly?

You are going for medical treatment and it is none of their bloody business what for!

I wonder what your supervisor is afraid of.

i have a dilemam and would welcome so advice. those people who no me will know that i found out a few months ago that my mother has a Narcissistic personality disorder and after the initial jubilation at realising that 40 years of being put down and ignored was not my fault, just before xmas i hit rock bottom. The old familiar black pit of despair was back again, so back on the medication which is making me feel lots better, i wanted to finally try to put all these negative thoughts and feeling i have about myself behind me and learn to properly deal with the realisation of my mothers problem. So i asked my GP for counselling which i have waited 3 months for but... and heres the snag they can only offer me daytime appointments and i work full time so it would mean having to take time of work. taking the odd hour off to go to doctor is one thing but but regularly have to take time out is another.

Given the appalling view of mental health issues (and my supervisor is particularly prejudiced) do you think i should try to explain the situation to my boss and hope he is ok with me having the time off to attend or just give it up as bad job and wait till i can find another counsellor who could see me in the evening?

Hi everyone.
I have been off the site for a couple of weeks. Had an extended Australia Day weekend in Canberra, which was quite enjoyable. This time we drove down, which makes getting around a lot easier, but I think going from an air-conditioned car into Canberra's summer heat and into air conditioned buildings was rather enervating.
Still, we did get to see the Degas exhibition at the art gallery and visit the new permanent portrait gallery, also the national museums and archives. My OH, not into family history research, was quite impressed with the archives offices.
Canberra is a convenient excuse for a break away. Not much over 3 hours drive, so quite accessible. IThat's my good news and evidence of the ups.
I have been working night shifts since so struggle to sleep during the day.
Caz, I have not read your messages before, but a blocked, infected salivary gland would really make you feel awful. No wonder you got depressed. I smiled that all you could eat was some chicken soup. It's supposed to be the great cure-all.
Eileen, isn't it great to have a diagnosis you can live with, even if it means being on tablets possibly for the rest of your life. I know people with thyroid problems and they did feel half dead.
Gail, I have never walked out of a doctor's appointment, but good on you. I have walked out of shops. In dealing with my own GP I much prefer to deal with one particular receptionist. The other two are a bit trying, but I have 'known' Eileen (a cheerful Irish lass) for many years.
I guess I still have ups and downs. I was talking to a mate yesterday- he was I think doing a bit of a layman's diagnosis to see if I was depressed, and I probably am, mildly. He also asked if I ever got elated- quite perceptive of him.
I do have aches and pains that sometimes get me down, but nothing like what affects some of the people on this site. My kindest wishes go out to them.
It is funny what can upset you. It is the 30th anniversary today of my father's death, and I don't feel distressed by this. I did become fond of him in his last few years. He was too young, but I don't feel his death was tragic, unlike my mum's a few years earlier. Her's still does upset me. But his sister-in-law, my mother's sister, does suffer. Dad died on her birthday, and she feels this. I don't quite understand, but will ring her later to say happy birthday (and assure her that I care).

Thanks Clairjo,

Its will make me alot happier as it will get me near family i want to be with and away from family i dont want to be near.

Got to go back and pack but most of its done away, Wish i could go to sleep and wake up when i get the ok to move.

Hope everyone is ok,

I dont like this snow.

Hi Everyone,

I am hoping to have good news in few weeks, telling me i can exchange flats with someone to be near my daugther.

I do hope its not to long i have to wait, the hold up at moment is i got to get the person who i am swapping with to fill in my form as well, Dont know why doing like that. But i am going over to see him tomoro, lucky i am still staying with daugther.

Here is ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))for anyonw who needs them

Hello everyone from a very weak and wobbly old lady. At least that's what I feel like. Thank you Claire for putting post up for me. My doctor said it was a salivery stone and it had caused an infection, she said I would be poorly owing to my low immune system, so I wasn't worried. The two stones came out yesterday, what a relief inside my mouth, but I still have my big lump on swollen gland, side of neck. I must have lost a bit of weight because all I could eat was a little bit of chicken soup and tea, I've just had a yoghurt and even that hurt going down. I took doctors advise and stayed in bed so Philip took the day off work yesterday, (I had to ring him to come home early on Friday) and he is having tomorrow off as well. My mouth was so swollen I couldn't talk, even I couldn't understand what I was saying lol. My doctor said I might need to call them out over the weekend, luckily I didn't and I have started to feel better this afternoon.
They say it always comes in threes, my youngest son sent hubby a birthday card with some money in, he lives a long way away, and it hasn't arrived. May come tomorrow though. The biggest upset was when hubby went on to chemist for my antibiotics and mouthwash, he usually doesn't go in the car, but he did this time for speed. When he came out of chemist he noticed someone had bashed the back bumper and pushed it in. A brand new Nisson Note, straight out of factory in November. Something nice must happen soon surely.
Thank you to all of you who sent me pm's, I will answer them when I have a bit more energy.

Love to all
Caz xx

Carole it's as cold here, as in ohio !!
Driving has been horrible the past few days, if it weren't for the necessity of driving to work and kids to school, I'd be holed up in a blanket with a mug of cocoa.
But today the sun is shining. I'm wondering when to start tomato seeds indoors. Bring on spring.
Have managed to fight off my cold, just left with a nagging cough, joys of little fresh air.
I am so glad to see some sun, improves the mood.
caz I'm thinking of you, hope you can get some decent pain relief soon,
Hugs all round, and gentle ones for Caz.
Mary XXX

Looking at the weather here yesterday we looked to see what it is like where we went to visit my cousin in Ohio last Nov. -17 feels like -25 !! No thank you we will put up with what we have.

Hope you are all ok, it's been quiet on here. I'm getting a bit better but still sniffing and sneezing x

Hi everyone, I'm taking a little break from family treeing as i've just realised I've been tracing the wrong family on my paternal grandmother's side so now I'm waiting for a birth cert so I can do it properly, that'll teach me to try to do it cheaply.

I've had a really good day today, we've had a week of pressure getting all our work sorted at school but today we could relax a bit.

Caz I'm so sorry to hear you're in so much pain, I know they can do nothing for your back but hopefully they can sort your throat out to relieve your pain there xx

Carole I live in Lincoln. I don't like to go out of site of the Cathedral if I can help it!

Wishing you all a peaceful and positive weekend xxx

Thank you for posting that from caz Claire. How very frustrating for you caz, although good to know it wasn't cancer. I hope the doctor can solve the problem of the latest swelling which sounds like an infection of some sort making your glands swell. Lots of love (((hugs))) and thoughts inging their way to you.

Ann
Glos

My dearest Caz how sorry I am to read the message you allowed Clairejo to post from you. You do sound in a right
mess. How I wish I had a magic wand, I'd run it over you in a falsh. For now, I send you love, hugs and sympathy for your pain xxxxx

Eileen I am an expert on unopened envelopes, (and unchecked message machine).LOL. I hear you loud and clear.
When my intellectual self finally takes over from emotional self, the results are often not as bad as expected. In fact I heard myself say recently, 'now why did you spend so much energy worrying about opening this pile of envelopes, it only took 5 minutes". Yes one told me the hydro was due to be disconnected and I was stressed until got to the office in time, could have saved myself a lot of worrying if I'd just opened it in the first place.
Take a deep breath and do it, dear friend, I'll send over my letter opener which I forget to use anyway.
Love
Mary

I haven't heard from Betty. Maybe she put herself on the naughty step for not coming here to talk!!
Do hope she and her family are all okay xxx

Gail the thought of 90 yr old man in electric chair speeding round had me laughing this morrning, I put my dog to bed some nights, then go in the kitchen later to find him lying there
on the tiled floor. He seems to do it to keep cool. Hope your dogs lumps are just cysts or something harmless. xx

Kathy I did a similar thing to my sil. I got something on facebook from her asking whats wrong. I couldn't work it out, so emailed her whats wrong? She phoned me asking how did I know? I asked what do I know? She had told her oh the night before she wanted a divorce and had told a friend she was going to tell him. She wonderd how I had found out so fast! I hadn't!!
Kathy I'm not poorly enough to stay in bed. Just had a good lay in this morning though. I also read that book by Martine Mc's mum. Awfull isn't it.
I have thought of writing a list of all your names to help me, but never got round to it!! Sometimes remember someone I haven't added so go back and edit. lol xxx

Ann, you have a sick sense of homour!! I like it xx

Eileen, that letter could be harmless, and you have worried about it for days. Open it !! With fingers crossed of course. xxx

Alison how are you? xx

Dutch how's your back today? xx

Deanna ~~~~~~ xxx

Liz I don't have time to think of my birthday! Feb is a nightmare.
6th uncle Albert, 11th niece Kerry, 17th Ann, 20th Jeff( two new relations found in USA). Then 23rd Mum, 24th daughter Hayleys,25th uncle Arthur and nephew Jamie, 28th uncle Alberts wife Lillian oh yea and mine!! 2nd was my uncle Jim (now dead), and grandma 13th (also dead now). Grandma had two other babies born Feb but sadly they died as toddlers. May the weather gets a bit warmer so nine months later along we all came!!