General Chat

Sharron, you seem to approach it all so light-heartedly,that's why I find you do brave. I only wish I could have been like that with my aunty.Am afraid that she felt my stress, and it was terrible, I would have loved to be a different type of person, but am not. Maybe, if we had lived in the UK, it would have been different, aunty could have had more contact with her so-called carers, they would have at least spoken the same language. As it was, she was sooo alone, they didn't understand what she was saying. Horrible!

Eileen xx

Well,no,I'm not brave at all.Having read Dee's thread about looking after her dad in his last days I think you must imagine that is how it is for me.Well it is not.

Carers come in to get himup in the morning,while I am still in bed.They make his breakfast while he is in his manual chair,otherwise he warms up the milk himself and pours it on his Reddy Brek,unless they want to spoil him.

I come downstairs later to get my breakfast and poke about downstairs.He will do the washing up,I put it away.Then I go upstairs and leave him to make his own sanwich for lunch.He puts the washing on too.
Twice a month he goes out shopping with Ken on the mini-bus.Getting Ken down here to help with the seat is the hardest part for me.
Every Wednesday I do the shopping and Ken has the day with him.He goes out in the electric wheelchair and Ken rides the bicycle,or poor Ken has to push him at the moment.
Thursdays I take his brother to the leg clinic so he is alone for a couple of hours.It seems like he will be out to lunch once a month now too.

Friday morning he has a neighbour and his brother in for tea and biscuits,he makes the pot of tea.

Saturday poor old Ken takes him out again.
The carers come in at lunchtime to put him on the commode if he wants it and they come in at night to put him to bed.
Now,where is the brave bit?

Hi Gail, thanks for the card and four leaved clovers, what a good idea. Going to keep mine in my hand bag. xxx

Hello everyone,

Another grey day.So cold, that I actually put the heating on, something I don't like doing, because of the awful dry air, which makes headaches even worse.
My youngest daughter gave me a card with a large picture of a 4 leaf clover.Have this in the wallet with car papers etc.I used to have a Padre Pio relic in there too, which my mother gave me. She gave me an extra one to wear on my chest whilst being operated to have a lung removed. In spite of all the pain etc. I had to laugh like a drain, imagining the faces of the surgeons....

Claire, thanks for your good wishes for tomorrow, I certainly need as many as I can get.Thank you Carole,(Y.Caz) it is kind of you to think of tomorrow too.Not hospital this time though.

Sharron, you are one brave lady. I admire your courage. It is not always easy to look after a (beloved) parent/relation. Many the time I have thought back to when my mother was alive-If it can be called alive.The poor little mite was in the very last stages of dementia, when I brought her and her sister, my beloved aunty over to Holland, oct. 1996.Aunty never got over her death.She was such an optimist, she believed she would see her again, bless her.I miss her optimism, her belly laugh. It was a nightmare for her and myself, to be honest, the last few months of her living here, I am not strong, so could not carry her,into bed or help her upstairs to shower etc. Having to put her into the local nursing home sped her decline up dramatically, she gave up hope. This will never, ever leave me. I wish I could turn the clock back and try to do things differently, useless thing to do.
Carole sent me a lovely mail this morning. It is so nice to know that people DO care.

Thank you for listening to my drivel.

Eileen xx

Just popped back on to say thank you Gail for my first Christmas card and the 4 leaf clovers. here's hoping they bring us luck, I will treasure them.

Ann
Glos

Hi Everyone, Caz it's good to see you posting, I wish you loads of love for your hospital visit tomorrow, fingers crossed evrrything goes well.

Gail thank you for my card and the 4 leafed clovers, they are great! I have propped them up on a shelf for now, what a lovely idea they are.

I hope everyone else is doing ok? good luck to anyone having hospital or doctors appointments.

Love Gillie XXXX

Hello all, just popped on to see what is happening, quite busy today aren't we.
A new baby lovely, can I be a cyber grandma as well please, or in my case it will be great grandma.
Thank you for your card Gail and the four leaf clovers, brilliant idea, thank you. Mine will be going to the hospital with me tomorrow as I need all the luck I can get. I have two Christmas cards now and I haven't even thought about writing mine yet.
I haven't read too far back as my eyesight is blurry last couple of months, wonder if it is the morphine tablets. I picked up about Eileen and tomorrow, is she going for a hospital test? Whatever it is good luck Eileen.
It is very cold here and looks as if it could snow, it has that certain light you get before snow comes.

Love and hugs to all.
Caz xx

Post is very quick, got my cards out early as was not sure how long it would take.

Sharron, if people wanted to know how I managed things I would only be too happy to tell them.

Gail

Ann the couple were just a bit younger than me, I would say early 50's.

I was putting washing in the machine the other night and just happened to touch some spider web near the handle. Looking through the glass on the other side I spotted a red backed spider. So out came the fly spray and then when it fell a heavy shoe. Do not know how they get inside though as house is well sealed now. The worse spider we have is a white tipped spider.

Gail

Got your card Gail.That was quick,I haven't even thought about it yet.Thank you very much.

Gail, while not having a phobia about snakes, i don't think I would ever get used to living with them around (or poisonous spiders). How awful of that couple demanding you move from the table. Were they young/old? Was it because you were in a wheel chair?

Sharron, you are a tartar!!!! Actually you seem to have found the answer with your Dad because he is gradually getting back into living a life, so well done and I hope he enjoys the lunch and the company. My dad used to go to stroke club and loved it, he used to joke about meeting all his old friends there. he even continued to go right up into his 90s when he was in the nursing home, until the last few months of his life.

Carole, why thank you, I think it looks rather good myself, no doubt about it going from grey to dark blond takes years off you (well mentally anyway).

Claire, little monkey, I suppose he thought you and his sister were ill and at home so why shouldn't he be? Good luck with the scan and i suppose I should be a cyber Nana (don't know how old you are, it may be cyber Gt Nana!). Now, you know it is bad for babe if you smoke so please try and cut it down a lot, maybe roll your own small ones, or give up. I was talking to a young woman at the bus stop on Monday, she is pregnant with twins, she was smoking a very small roll up.

Ann
glos

I'd just like to say that I think Sharron is amazing too,and so modest.

Carole,the sad thing is that you are being deprived of the chance to do for your dad what I am doing for mine.I can do it because I no longer have the unbearable burden that you do and you know that I am willing to give you any support you need with that.Chin up gal!

Yeah!!!!! Gonna be a cyber grannie. My title is Grandma, Grandma, Grandma. Cause that is what I am teaching grandson over the phone.

Carole, I joined FB and am just working it out. Have tried to send invitations out but I keep mucking it up. Only got one photo on so far.

We had a massive storm a while back and got dumped with nearly an inch of rain in 15-20 minutes. No power either while it was going on. Should have know it was coming as our dog was going berserk poor thing. Still the water is good.

I too think Sharron is amazing, but shoosh dont let her hear I said that.

Gail

What a little monkey! Well all the cyber aunts
and grans should be back from Aus by the time you are due!

Gail the postman has just been and brought me my first Christmas card, containing, seven four leaf clovers. Thank you so much, what a lovely idea. I'm going to keep them in my hand bag. They will remind me of you always xxx

Been to my psychologist and she told me she is leaving in January. I have about four more appointments with her. Then nothing more they can do. I have the tools I have to use them basically.

But I know I have a great back up team, that is the best support I could ever expect. Thanks to you all xx

Gail I'm in the caravan, can't sleep out in a tent with snakes. How nice to have the dvd, bet he has grown no end. Are you on facebook now?

Sharron, I couldn't do what you do for your dad. He is very lucky. I don't know how you cope. Hope he gets his wheelchair back soon.
Shame they can't lend one until his is fixed. xx

Ann good to know Gill is okay xx
Your hair looks lovely Ann. Where do you go to get it done!! xx

He always was a funny old bugger,would take a packet of cream crackers and some cheese out with him rather than eat anywhere.

I think he has finally realized that his pose has robbed him of more than it has ever given him.

Once a month somebody in the village cooks a meal,different people every time and you each pay three pounds to go and have it,there is no choice of menu.

So he will know a lot of the people there.

On 3rd December he is going to the Christmas Lunch for the local old people's club,of which he is not a member I might add.Something to do with his street cred no doubt! Anyway I have wangled him an invitation to that,saves me cooking.

Those people were appalling.I do believe that if somebody's eating procedure looks revolting,a lot of slobber or food falling out of their mouths a lot,they should discreetly face away from as many diners as possible but they must be made welcome.They would want to do this anyway wouldn't they? Dad misses his mouth a bit as he only has his left hand but I will make sure he has a bit of kitchen towel for a bib.

I just hope nobody tries to look after him.He is not used to having his food cut up and I don't want him to be!

Mybig problem with disabled people is that I always want to know how they do things.I'm always in to the practicalities,which may surprise you,especially now I am always having to break things down so my dad can do them.

Better get down there and find something practical for him to do while I can find him.

Sharron a month with out his wheel chair is appalling. As you say at least you know where he is but it is not right.

It took me a few years before I would eat out. Now I just don't care. But hate it when people come up to me and ask what happened. I can be very blunt, especially when it is just a quite dinner. OH usually has to be calmed down.

We were at a busy restaurant one night and had put our orders in and OH went to get us a drink. I had these two people come over to me demanding that I leave the table as they wanted to sit there. They caused a terrible scene. Called the management over and demanded I be removed and had no right to be there. Management threw them out, but dinner was not very pleasant. Took some time before I went out again though. They waited until my OH was out of sight before they started.

Gail

PS: snakes are a fact of life in the country. I grew up with them around. It was worse when the toilet was outside and you had to go through the night. You never really get used to them either, just learn to respect them and get out of the way.

Sorry,just popped on for a rant.

We have been without the electric wheelchair for nearly a month now which means my dad is in one spot for most of the day and can only go where he is put,at least I know where he is.

Have just had to get out of the bath because the cat had opened the door and the old man was getting cold.

Rang the engineer yesterday and was given a lot of obviouslies and promises to chase it up but no real progress.

He is going to the church hall for his lunch tomorrow,his mate is going to push him there,Good Man Ken! This is a real step forward,he evidently feels able to communicate and adept enough to eat in public.Unfortunately his challenges are limited in the manual wheelchair.

Thanks for bearing with me.
My best wishes to all of you who are in pain or torment.So many of you have so much more to deal with than I do now.

aah, snakes Gail, maybe a re-think

Ann
Glos

Do not blame anyone for wanting to move to OZ for our summer and your winter. OH went back with his parents for 2 years, said even though the winters can be bitter here nothing like in the UK. Not many beds but big back yard for camping and a caravan in yard (daughters) and extra beds in caravan annex. Would not need much as you would all be down the river thorough the day anyway. Or up fishing in the dam and watching all the wildlife. We had a wombat in the yard last night. I know they come around as can see where they dig, but got to see one for a change. Very big as well.

Just watch for the snakes.

I managed to get a photo on facebook today so now there will be no stopping me. Was able to concentrate long enough to work it out.

Carole good luck for todays appointment.

Since Claire is having, I think we deserve to be ciber aunts and extra grannies. Love being a granny.

I had a disc sent by daughter with video and photos this morning so have spent a great deal of time just drooling over them. Going to watch the video on the big TV in a while.

Love and hugs

Gail