General Chat

David what hand do you use to work the mouse? I don't mean to take the micky! I had awful pain in my right crock of my neck, and down my arm. It was from spending so much time on here! Depression makes us think the worse. The pains are blown up.
I am just saying consider if yours could be from sat at the computer. xxx

It's so nice to see how this thread is helping you all.
I could not ask for more. What a great bunch you all are xxxx

I read Deanna's posting about pain she is suffering from. I sympathise, sincerely.

I made an earlier posting about having come off a very long term addiction of Valium.

Ive survived, but I get vague aches and pains I cannot account for.

For 2-3 months I've had pain down the right hand side of my neck. It radiates from the crook of my neck to my right shoulder via my right collar bone.

Some days its painful and some days its not there. I find this strange

Could this possibly be a side effect of not taking those tablets?

And a big flask of tea...it's a must ;-)))

L xxx

Brilliant, but must remember to take some munchies, and binoculars, so can do some bird watching at the same time.

Now where will we put our wall?? Somewhere with a Lagoon and sandy beaches one side, green rolling hills on the other.

Gail

What a lovely idea Gail..Lets all sit on one big wall and hold eachother on there, until it is safe and we are ready to take a walk up the hill...
Love to you all..
L xxx

Gill, I like you I really do. After reading this I like you even more. Very deep and profound.

I for one would be proud to sit on the wall with you and everyone else on this thread.

Your wall is much much better and safer than mine. Mine is a Dam wall, water on one side and a huge drop on the other. I do have an option to walk off, jumping either way is not a solution. I think I will stick to your and Toothfairy's wall in future.

Gail

I deleted this as I wasn't sure how it would be taken - it was meant with complete support.

Toothfairy most of us have sat on the wall clinging on, I have jumped down and found I was on the wrong side on many occasions. I still pay for it and yes some of my mistakes are still kicking from way back in my childhood. I have nothing in life I want nothing in life anymore.

I am just glad my brickwall is always near me so I can climb up on it and take a breather from this world, watching both sides both with good and bad points wondering which side I will jump down to next. This thread is what keeps my head together if if were not here I would had let a lot of people completely destroy me - I owe a lot to these people who support me, and I hope you get all the support you need to help you with your choices in life.

All the best to you Toothfairy

Gill

Sharron life really is a great journey, and the big one I am learning right now is not to be anybodies punching bag (not literally) anymore. Now when I do say NO and mean NO, they can go dump somewhere else.

Gail

At a small charge Gail.

Sharron, what great advice. Could not have said it better if I had tried. Might just take some of it for myself.

Gail

Toothfairy.That side of the wall that you think is the side where you can do what you want isn't! It is the side where you are doing things to compensate for not being able to do what you want.

You get your butt down on the other side and get walking.If you have a look in your head you will see that Father Bannister is walking with you. He wanted you to see the other side.

Having walked over that hill you will find that you won't need to train any harder or alter your body in any way.It will be the one that you want and it won't matter what anybody else wants.

Now,off you go.Send us a postcard to let us all know what is over there.

Pm 'ed Toothfairy.

David hi. My answer is I don't know. Does anyone else know?

Eileen I'm coming with you. Hang on while I get there! I'll sit quiet and invisibly. You will not be alone.
Feel me holding your hand xxx

Liz sitting with you. Lets remember your friend as she would want to be remembered. Also your cousin.
xxx

Caz thinking of you and hoping you are not feeling so poorly today.xxx

Elaine do you have a neighbour who would take you? Do you need some imodium? Did you get some rescue remedy? Hope oh gets the medical help he needs. xxx

Claire how are things going with you? xx

Dawn ? Are you still looking in ? xx

Kathy you are very quiet, are you okay?xxx

Sharron how are you ?xx

Dutch Joyce it's lovely you have settled in so well on here xxx

Joyce Hi xx

Anyone had any news from Ann G ? Hope they are having a good time XXXX

Deanna thanks for emails you are keeping me laughing xx

Toothfairy, have sent you a PM

David, like a lot of diseases, pharmaceutical companies make too much money to find a cure, not just for depression.

Deanna, sorry it is such a bad day for you, feel better soon, thinking of you.

Eileen, please let us know how you get on and good luck.

Louise, welcome to our thread, we are here if you need to talk.

Carole, how did the lessons go this time????

Hugs to Y/Caz, and to Liz extras for this sad time.

Anyone I have missed does not mean I am not thinking of you. My memory is just as far as this page for today.

Gail XX

Good morning everyone.
I am again coming on to say... nothing.... I'm having a *bad day* day... ;-0)

My shoulder is so painful, and I can't get rid of the pain.
took two pills at 8.00, and when he came in to get his dad, Tony heated me up a wheat-bag.... feels a bit better but the pain is still there.
I came on today just to say that I'm not able to type... ;-0)
but as you all know, shutting up is a dreadful chore to me! LOL
Look after yourselves, and I will be back.
lots of love to all,
Deanna XXX

Are the medical any nearer eradicating depressions and mental illnesses?
Or are the powers that be content to allow pharmacutical giants to market drugs many of which have side effects that could possibly make the patient more ill?
It's a mystery

I'm not brave... Im not looking for sympathy or for someone to big up my ego, i don't deserve any of it, if you KNEW me, for who i am, for what i'd done, you wouldn't acknowledge me at all..

ThanKyou for listening to me waffle on though Gail, it's good to let some of it out my head, you know, i sometimes feel my brain could explode with it all...

I'm just going to sit here, on my wall, contemplating life....My only worry really is that there are people waiting for me on both sides, pulling me over and i'm desperatly clinging on so i don't fall off..I'll stay here, fight to stay here, on my little wall, and watch the world pass by me..Just for a time....

L xx

Toothfairy, your are so brave. I am very moved by your story.

We will accept you for who and what your are. That is one very brave person.

Keep talking and we will listen.

Gail

I hope non of you mind me sitting in here for a while. I need to talk, but have no one here i can confide in, you see, i'm always the strong one and can't let them see me when i'm comming apart.
I had a horrible childhood, and have never been able to put my trust in men - i was a terrible teen and did such horrific things i wouldn't dare tell you. I was the child NO parent wanted comming round to the house and who was the bad influence over the other kids. I was saved though, by a wonderful man, Rev Bannister. He showed me friendship, kindness and how to be a nice person. I tried it, being nice, doing normal things and it was good. I put my trust in a man who swore he'd never hurt me, never lie to me and would care for me forever. We married and had a daughter. Rev Bannister was taken from us one night by a drink driver, and i swore i'd never forget him or let him down.Ten years we managed, with me, doing the right things, behaving the right way, i thought i was doing well! Sadly my husband had other ideas, he gambled away our life on poker. Everything i'd worked so hard for gone with the turn of a card. I was devastated. Broken. I cried, a little, but knew for the sake of our daughter i must carry on. No man has ever treated me with respect, they've always let me down, in fact, the world and his dog has let me down. I feel so much anger i know if i didn't have my training i'd be a lost cause. I feel as though i'm sitting on a narrow wall, swaying from one side to the next...How easy it would be to jump down off that wall and into my old life, where nothing and no one mattered, where i did what i wanted, when i wanted and no one could stop me, where i could drink beyond feeling and wake up in a different bed every day. Thats the easy road, to run back along the path thats familiar to me, no suprises, no false hopes and trust.... The other side of the wall though, well, there's a hill, a hard treck that would take all my energy and time, and the thing is, i can't see over that hill, i have no idea what lies beyond..And i'm tired now, drained, i don't know if i'll have the energy or can even be bothered trying to reach the other side......
To really put the cherry on my rotting old cake, the man, the only man i've ever wanted, is back in my life. He wants me but is asking for me to change my body, he wants me to train more, harder, be bigger and better, the pressure would kill me wouldn't it??? I sit here, wishing he could want me for who i am, accept me now, yet knowing i can never have him for keeps, not in this world, but in another lifetime i'd like to die in his arms....


Thankyou for letting me sit in your thread a while...There's so much in my head, going round and round i had to find some where to offload a little...

L xxx

Have to be off to that (terrifying) 'meeting' in another 3 hours.Am dreading it, could not get it out of my head last night.
A big thank you to Liz,Carole Tinkerbell, Yorkshire Caz for their p.m's and to Joyce for her e-mail. Very much appreciated.I will reply to you all later on this afternoon-IF I am able. My old school friend in England has just left for mass,she will say a prayer and light a candle for me.
Sorry to be such a misery, not mentioning anyone who have far worse things going on, but my mind is in turmoil.These last, long months were difficult, because of this 'thing' hanging over me.

Thanks for listening.

Eileen x

Sorry all, I know there are lots of things going on here at the mo and wish I could offer to help more people but at the mo, am struggling a bit with things at home so hope you will forgive me for not responding to posts.

love and hugs to you all
Lizxxx