General Chat

Good morning everyone,

Several caring members have sent me p.m's and e-mails, to urge me to come on here whilst I am feeling so low.They are right, I shouldn't wait until thing's get better,I should know by now they don't, if you keep things to yourself.
Having been used to always sort things out for myself, from a very young age, it has become a way of life now.You supported me some time back, when I scraped up the courage to post, but I don't want to be a moaner, whinger, whatever, bore people.
To be honest, I haven't felt so bad for a long time, am really depressed.Yesterday was an all-time low.
When things get so bad, I am taken back to my childhood nightmares, all the years I spent in hospitals (5), with only my beloved aunty visiting when she could, and later, watching my friend in one dying in front of my eyes.Also, the year or so before this aunty died and the year afterwards,comes back like a tidal wave, threatens to drown me.Feelings of deep sadness, guilt and unhappiness just won't go away.

All of you will know and understand these feelings, that is why I should post more often, not keep bottling things up, we all need a 'safety valve', otherwise we will explode.Not sleeping much at night doesn't help either, does it?

Sorry for rambling on, when some of you have far worse things to contend with every day.

Love to all.

Eileen xx

Just to let you all know Dad seemed a bit better today. Still not getting hopes too high. His nurse said take it a day at a time, don't make any plans!
He also had bursitis on his knee which is very painful
Love to you and yours. Can't think tonight sorry xxxx

If any of you are interested there is a new depression forum at www.depressionforums.co.uk - I'm a member there - click on The Forum and then register.

Deanna yes it is cold here too and we are going out this evening. Difficult to know what to wear when it is cold in the middle of summer.

It is a pain that every time sport is on all the regular programmes have to suffer. Why can't they put the sport on BBC2 or channel 4/5?

Ann
Glos

Hi

I have been given my promotion at work. Hooray. I start as a foods Quality Control on 1st October.

Although I have had a few Pure O bouts with my OCD. One spike was something that disagreed with something I like and I kept wondering "What if they are right" As much as I snivel at the doubts, I still fret over it.

Ben

Anne her eyesight is not the best and she has never been good at keeping on top of her housework which isd why i expected her house to be bad but like i say i had no idea things had got THAT bad!

I made no attempt to clear the place i was bitten about 20 times just being in the house for a few mins and i dont have the time to take on trying to clean the house it needs to be done professionally.

If i had my way i would literally strip the whole house and put it all in a skip to my mind most of the carpets and furniture are beyond salvage.

She own the house but since she is in debt she has admitted to nearly £70,000 but i suspect it may well be more there is a mortgage and loan secured against the house and i doubt very much even if she sold the house it would cover her debts.

I feel that my mum needs to finally face up to her problems and realise that asking for help is not a crime which is why when she comes out of hospital i am going to say that she cant come and stay with us to convalesce so then social services will have to see the state of the house and hopefully send in someone to clean it.

What i would really like is for her to move closer to me there are plenty of shelter housing places where she could live independently but be close enough for my and my sister to keep an eye on her

Ann.....
I WILL NOT WATCH THE OLYMPICS!

I am so angry about all the programmes which will moved around and taken off for the big O in the next two weeks.

I do love the opening and the closing ceremonies though.

Carole, I don't want to upset you, but don't take anything that the doctors say 'at face value'.
They kept telling us that our son was getting better.
they kept telling HIM he was getting better, and he wasn't.
He was actually dying before their very eyes!
The doctor concerned told him that when he went for an out patients appointment.

One of his male nurses saved his life by arguing with the senior doctor, and made him listen.
We will be eternally grateful to that young man.
So, keep on top of your fathers progress love.
As long as he is ill... you are his first line of defence.
Bless his heart, he must feel awful not being able to fight his breathing.
Bless you Carole, and I hope I did not upset you.X

Love to everyone who is feeling bad, and I hope you all have a good weekend.
It is very cold here today.. hope it better in France for the holiday ours are away on!
lots of love,
Deanna XXX

Good morning all. It seems lots of ((((hugs)))) are needed by everyone today. Several of you having a bad time of it with relatives rather than with yourselves.

WhiteNancy, i hope a solution can be found for your mother. I realise she need to ask for help herself but it seems to me the Social Services could be abit more pro-active in these things. That is the trouble when we strangle the people who could help with red tape, so many rules and regulations when years ago somebody would have breezed in to your Mum and suggested she asked for help. Is her eyesight bad? I found that when my Mum got over 80, despite the fact she had always been a housework fanatic, her house, paintwork etc started to look grubby and I realised that she couldn't see as well so couldn't see the dirt. were you able to get some of it cleared up while you were there? The problem with fleas is they only get worse if not treated and don't get better on their own. Is it her own house or housing association? There must be something that can be done to persuade her to accept help.

Elaine, sorry your OH is being messed around with delays to his physio treatment and, he is bound to take it out on you as you are closest. Is there anyone who could keep him company while you have a couple of hours off?

Gwen, hello, seems like you have a problem with your OH too. Feel free to come on here and shout when it gets to you.

Carole, Hi, Sorry your Dad was so poorly, hope he is better when you visit him today.

Betty, good to see you if only briefly. Computers are a blessing but sometimes a curse aren't they?

Deanna. will you be glued to the TV now watching the Olympics? I'm afraid I am not remotely interested this time with it being in China.

Liz, hope you feel less tired soon. glad you had a nice day with your friend.

Ann
Glos

Hello just been reading your messages,
Wont it be lovely just to have peace of mind with no worries, My husband is suffering from depression he also have Parkinson's disease, there seem nothing you can do for him except be there for him and plenty of hugs bless him when he have a bad time of it,
I also care for my 88 year old mother who lives opposite me, she don't help always calling me over for silly little thing's,
Listen to me feeling sorry for myself so many people worse off then me.
But it would be lovely to see my husband happy and smiling again.
Regards to you all Gwen. UK

I am really tired - it's been a busy and stressful week but nice bits like seeing my friend today and my pal in hospice still hanging on.
None of my problems are as bad as those many of you are facing and I send positive thoughts and strength to get through.
love and hugs to you all
Lizxxx

Hi everyone ((hugs for Carol)) I have been feeling a bit low of late so decided to do something about eleviating how I feel so I did and it has lifted somewhat
Love and hugs to all
Rachxxxxxxx

Mum and I went to see Dad this afternoon. I was shocked when I first saw him.
He was propped up in bed with an oxygen mask on. He was gasping for breath,
and his chest was making a lot of noise. He was in obvious discomfort. I called
for a nurse, who said she wasn't looking after him the nurse behind the curtain
with the man in the next bed would come to him in a minute. Several minutes
later she came to him. Didn't say a lot. She had just come on shift that morning
so would get the doctor to come talk to us. He was a young lad, and asked what
we wanted to know. He had just started his shift and didn't know a lot! But did say
the blood tests all showed improvement. We wanted to know how long he had been
struggling to breath, but no one seemed to know. Then another doctor came to
talk to us. She talked to Dad to asses how well he answered, and found him okay.
She said he has fluid on his lungs so they might put a needle in to draw it off.
His heart is not working fully. And his liver has a problem. The chest x ray showed a
black shadow, so think that is an infection. They put Dad on a nebuliser and that
helped him settle down and sleep a little.
I'm going to pick Mum up tomorrow and we'll go again. Hope Linda (my sister) will also come with us.

Seems we are having trouble with parents week end.
Thinking of you all and your problems Carole xxx

evening everyone well this might be a long one ,but before i start id like to say hi to everyone on here ,well im right down at the moment ,ive done nothing but run back and fourth to docs ,well hubby has a plura infusion (fluid on his lung and acute anemia ,so gp sent a fax to the hospital marked urgant for some kind of phsio on lung ,well this was on monday and we still waiting to hear from them so i rang them up and guess what they said they never had the fax ,so bk to gp i went saw the same receptionist that sent the fax so she got on the phone to them ,then she hato send another one while she was on phone she asked them to see him asap and yes we still waiting ,so much for urgant ,i spoke to the cardio nurse and she was lovley told her all the problems we are having and she was very reasuring and said i can ring her any time ,and if his problems get worse to ring for a ambulance ,his breathlessness is manly when he is walking ,so he is resting alot he has to have another lung x ray in two weeks after some treatment when ever that is ,but apart from all that im doing as good as can be i no surgion said he will have mood swings after such a big opp but now theyve just set in so im getting upset easy i try not to take things to heart but its hard xxx hugs to all xx elaine

not posted for a while things were going ok until Wednesday morning when i got a phone call to say the my 77 year mother was in hospital. It transpired that she had a fall on Sunday night and broken her hip but because of the stated of her house she didnt call anyone until Tuesday!!!

Both myself and my sister live 150 miles away so dont get to see our mum very often and have not been in her house for some time.

Whilst i was expecting her house to be bad nothing could have prepared me for what i did find. she has obliviously not been coping for a long time but is too proud to ask for help. The house is jumping with fleas from the cat ans if she hasnt got rats/cockroach infestation i would be very surprised. There is not a square foot of clear floor space none of the main ceiling lights work there is rubbish and food debris piled up everywhere and the few bits of carpet that you can see are dirty beyond belief . She is an insulin dependent diabetic and she has no fridge she has been keeping her insulin in a pot in the garden!

I rang the local social services who said that they cant do anything without her consent tried environmental health who said they could treat the flea problem but required the floor to be clear first.

And to add to the problem she is up to ears in debt the true extent of which i have no idea and she wont ask for professional help.

Now i am back home the enormity of the situation is beginning to dawn on me but i have no idea what will happen to my mum long term. She refuses to move closer to me and my sister and she is too proud and stubborn to ask for help yet she obviously cant mange on her own

Yes a new baby is lovely isn't it?

My baby is also big boy now.... 36... ;-0)
but I still get a cuddle everytime he comes in and goes out, bless him.

Been watching the Olympic opening, and it was great, wonderful, amazing... got to give them it...

So now I have no time to chat.
Hope your dad was better Carole, and you are all well today.
Will see you when I have more time and more energy... must learn to 'pace myself'
tee hee.

lots of love everyone.
good night,
Deanna XXX

Hi Jeannie, Great that your OH has given up smoking, better for you too. You can't do too much at once, losing weight can come later hen you feel stronger and able to do it.

Carol, I spent the morning in town, OH was off playing golf so I went in, had coffee, then a look round the shops and veg market 9didn't buy any veg though, so heavy to carry when you are on the bus. Bought a half price book in Waterstones then had lunch out (just a baguette) then came home. It makes a break. Now trying to get inspiration for a golden wedding card I need to make.

Ann
Glos

Hi all,
Joyce how nice to see you, with news of our friend Caz in her Yorkshire bed. Poor Caz really has been through some rough times. Hope she is soon better.

Liz have a nice time with your friend. Your cousin is a little awkward dictating when you can go. Tell her when you can go. Or don't go.

Gail thanks for email hope you are coping okay. Look to the future and seeing X.. grow up

Deanna you sound like you had a lovely time with your family and you got to hold the baby. I love babies. Wonder if I'll ever get to be a grandma

Eileen it is lovely to see you here, if you don't post you don't, it is up to you. Don't feel guilty I'd hate that. Wish I could help with the money if I was a secret millionaire we would all be laughing and getting what we need.

Caz C thinking of you

Ann G what have you been doing?

Irene how are you? Your interest in the horses will be great for you. Good luck with that. keep us informed what you have been doing, it sounds interesting and fun

Kathy any signs of getting that kitchen finished yet?
I don't know how you have coped with it .

Betty where are you? Thinking of you and your family

Jules thinking of you as always

Gill lovely to talk last night even if for a short time
hope to catch you later

Paula it chucked it down here last night, just said we would walk the dog, and heard it raining, so opened the door to let the dog go out on his own. He also decided he would stay in. Good job we got our flat roof fixed last week

Elaine any news?

Wendy how are you? Have you decided if you will travel?

Rach any reply from your sil yet? Hope it feels good to get that off your chest

Sue thinking of you

Carolina how are you all coping with everything ?

Ann GG (the naughty one) who should know better.
LOL hope you are okay love

Snow white haven't heard from you for a while hope you are okay

Going to see Dad in hospital this afternoon. Taking Mum. My sister went yesterday and said he seemed a bit better. My nephew is okay, said he feels like his chin sticks out a mile, and it feels like a brick in his mouth.

Love and hugs to you all Carole xxxx

Hi all, will explain another time re licence. Lots going on and it is me having to sort it all out. My pal is having one more lot of radiotherapy and then going home to her Dad's afterwards, next Tuesday I think.

I am going to Gt Yarmouth this afternoon, using the bus to save petrol and energy, to meet another old friend who is over from Miami. Seems her marriage isn't too steady at the mo so no doubt will hear all about it, bless her. She and her son of nearly 10 are staying with her sister, but her hubby is at home.
He is 40 and she says he is having a midlife crisis, while she is trying to cope with the menopause at 56 so things are getting fraught! Also he lost his job and only has a part time one right now and she lost her job cos she was so stressed and upset she kept forgetting things she should do, so her boss fired her!
Better get to bed earlier than usual so I can get up for the bus.
Night all, take care,
love and hugs
Lizxxxxxx

Hello everyone,

Sorry for not posting for a long time, i.e, before the 12th july, when I went to Italy with daughter and her family.
The longer I left it, the more guilty I felt. Guilt plays a VERY big part in my feelings.Guilt that I should have done more for my beloved aunt, my mother who was in the last thoes of dementia,the list is long and always haunts me every waking moment.
I really don't want to be moaning about the enormous problem that is still waiting just around the corner, for months now.There is no solution for this...it drives me to despair sometimes.Having to go back and forth to Amsterdam so often is very tiring, but I sometimes look on this as a penance for all the things I SHOULD have done, but didn't. Can't explain what I mean.
We went to Italy, I should have felt good, but only thought about my daugher Andrea in so much pain and discomfort.She never complains, which makes me even more desperate. A big cash injection would certainly help, I could send her and hubby to a special hospital in Glasgow, that deals with her type of illness, using herbs etc.
Once again, sorry for not posting, I'm in a bit of a mess at the moment.When am I not?
Love to all who are feeling down/depressed/unhappy etc.

Eileen xx

Joyce, thank you for the news of YCaz and nice to see you on here.

YCaz, hope the bruises heal soon.

Deanna, lovely to have a new baby to cuddle Aaah! Most of my 'babies' are too big for cuddles now!

ann
Glos