General Chat

thanks for your pm's i am not going o be silly promise i just felt there seemed no option at the time and it seemed it would be the only way i would get help for my son, but i have 3 children and its not fair on the other two, i can't believe ive gone from a bubbly blonde to a wreck in such a short space of time it was bad enough being diagnosed with this painfull cripperling back condition and fm but id accepted this but when its your beautiful child in such turmoil you would litterly die for trying to end his life as left me in a bottomless pit i cant bear to see him so confused what must he be going through too feel he wants too die.
im going to make such a fuss on monday that all of last week ive been push from pillar to post of authorities passing the buck, ive phoned every organization going even the local mental health hospital i can't believe in this day and age this is happening to me and people all over the country, some of the excuses ive had, like he is to old for us to im sorry he is to young we can't help cause he is to old, or he is to ill and would be a hazzard to others to he is not ill enough for emergency help, i knew shropshire was a bit of a backwater place but this is ridiculas, i asked the emergency social worker he said well he is 17 next month im afraid he will be responable for his self , the council said they could not put him with others over weekend as he is a risk to others which i do appreciate i hoe to god we get something sorted monday , i told my daughter what was wrong she phoned me later to say mum you will have to put your foot down with him lol, i said type in aspergers on your laptop xx thanks again i am going for a bath deanna i wont use all the water xxx

Hope you have managed to get some rest and things are stable at the mo Puss.

Deanna, so sorry I missed the lovely news, my head is so fuzzy at the mo. Many congratulations and best wishes to all on the birth of your little granson.
Glad he is starting to sleep well so everyone gets the rest they need, my son didn't sleep through the night till he was two and a half, and as a single mum with little support, I was ready to throw him out the window some nights. No wonder I have a funny sleep pattern now lol
To all of you, hope you can all keep all the balls in the air and life improves in some small way.
love and hugs,
Lizxx

thankyou all so much , i managed to get some sleep.
the mental health team have agreed to se him as soon as he turns up, they will ascess as an emergency, in the meantime i contacted our out of hours homeless unit to tell them the plan, they could'nt help as it is complicated and gave me an appointment monday, the other option was to have david arrested for crimanel damage re fire and breaking then he waould be held in a cell until acsesed by duty doctor/consultant im not taking that option, he is safe tonight and i will sleep in his room sunday night then get things going monday, ive been planting and gardening all day which has helped ive just read all your replies thankyou so much for caring i cant thankyou all enough when this is all sorted i will be here for everyone of you , ive just had my amitryptilene so i will be on planet zonk soon xxxxxx

I only came on to apologies for not being here, and to say goodnight to you all.
NOW I'm worried about Lorraine.

You must come on here and have a moan ... as often as you like.
There may even be some one who can give you the right kind of advice.

I'm too tired just now to even THINK to be honest, but there are enough of us and someone will say the right thing love.
Chin up and get through tonight.... one day at a time.... and we will all get there... even if we don't know where we are going! ;-0)
LIKE ME for instance...

*Our* baby slept for 6.1/2 hours last night!!
How is that for 4 days old?? ;-0)

Just a little smile before I go.

good night everyone, and chin up.
lots of love to all.
Deanna XXX

Lorraine, after reading your post, it made me feel ashamed for all my whinging on earlier posts.You are in a dreadful position,I can't even imagine how you must feel.Speaking from my own experiences and from being in the same frame of mind as you are, it is honestly not the right step to take, no matter how deep and black the hole is that you are in now.I am really glad that I was able to pull back, mostly with help, because it would have devastated my loved ones, yours will be just as devastated.WHEN you get the help you need and deserve, you will look back and be so happy that you didn't end it all. It is all too much for you to bear on your own,so take the good advice you receive from the lovely, caring people on this thread.
Wishing you all the strength you need to keep going.

Eileen xx

Dear Lorraine, it worries me to use the term "make him homeless" - that seems to put a huge load of guilt onto you. Surely there's a better way to phrase it,. Like -he needs supervised care to help him deal with his thoughts and prevent destructive actions. It's needed for his safety and that of his family.
Sending loads of hugs, I've experienced the desire to "end things" but in retrospect I am grateful I didn't. I would have missed so much - joy and sadness, life experiences. If you need to unload please come on here, there's usually someone around 24/7 with the different time zones.
Hugs
Mary

Hi everyone haven't been about much having a bad time at the minute so have given myself abit of space but i hope you are all ok?
Rachxx

Hi all,
firstly sorry I have not been on the thread much lately, I have been reading but not commenting, so i am always thinking of you all even when not speaking.

Lorraine, I echo Carole, why have you not come and screamed on here before. So many people to listen and maybe give advice. we are always here for you. you are having such a terrible time of it and you really do do your best for your son, nobody could do more. I think it is a terrible system that says you have to literally make your son homeless before anyone will give you help. But if that is what you have to do, so be it, do not feel guilty. It sounds as if he is not only a danger to himself but to you all as well. I hope you get the help he needs and soon.

Please do not think of taking your own life, where would that leave the rest of your family? You are important to them as well as to David. So please come on here and shout for help when you feel desperate, we are here for you.

((((hugs)))) Ann glos

Good morning and big welcome to Ladylol. Why on earth haven't you joined us before!! A lot of us know about your son and have followed his up's and downs over time. I didn't realise he was getting so
out of control. As a mother your job is to do your best for him and others in your house. You have to protect. If that means having him put into care you must do that. You know you could all end up seriously injured or worse. It won't be easy by any mean to be the one to have to do this, but you must.
Stinks that if in care he will get the help you can't get them to give him while at home! I had problems with my son in the past and the only option was a special school as a boarder. I was falling to pieces but knew it was his chance of the help he needed and I couldn't give him. You will have to be strong and say he needs help, and others can give it to him. Let him go for his own good, and yours!!
Carole xxx

aww puss

(((((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))))))))

This must be such a difficult thing for a parent to do.

Sending positive thoughts and courage

take care

Gill

aw Lorraine, you must be going through hell, I didn't realise it was so bad. I am terrified of fires, can't imagine anything worse so I would be out of my mind with him. If he is going to be taken to somewhere where he will be looked after it won't be so bad will it. You can breath easy knowing he is being looked after and you can relax, you certainly need it.
Don't appologise for waffling, if you read through this thread we have all done it and felt better for it, we are here for each other. Saying that I feel I need to say sorry sometimes lol.
Will you let us know how you go on ? It will hurt at first but try not to worry to much, your health is important.

Caz xx

thanks caz so many people on here are great like yourself with health problems, the latest is by ringing on duty social services and saying im making him home less they will take him into care i know its not that easy but with no family to help or even care they are obliged too aparently , because of the aspergers apparently he will get the appropiate help whilsyt in there care such red tape is unreal, but like i have said i can barely speak my name at the moment, because he is starting fires in his bedroom he is at risk and so are we , the woman i just spoke too is going off duty so i will be getting a phone call soon think i will need sedating when it happens but so be it better than a fire and putting others at risk, sorry for waffling im telling my self this to lol. xxx

Hello Lorraine and welcome. Your post gave me a few heartstopping moments, please get that thought out of your head and come to us whenever you need to. There is always someone to talk to.
Is there any way your doctor can help, maybe by writing to say you are not coping because of your health and you really do need some help. It's not going to help your son to make him homeless and you will make yourself worse by worrying about him. Where will he be expected to go while they get help for him, have they explained that?
Have you spoken to your son about him living on his own and would he be capable? I have a friend with a son with aspergers, he is in his thirties now and lives on his own but my friend goes every day and Paul rings her constantly. She helps him with the shopping and does his laundry and is wearing herself out. Would you be able to do that. I have just been diagnosed with fm a couple of months ago and am suffering terribly with the pain, I know I wouldn't have the strenghth or energy to look after anyone but myself at moment so I do understand how you feel, although I don't have your son to worry about.
I'm sorry I'm not much help but we are here for you to come and scream at the world if you want to. They are a lovely bunch and very understanding.

Caz xx

hello all ive been on anti d for most of my adult life, i recently tried duloxitine as i have fm but doc says there not working for a lot of people and i did feel better on citalopram so im back on that , at the moment im as low as i can go having serious problems with son who has aspergers i contemplated ending my life as this last lot of problems is too much and no one is helping me, child services have hinted the only way they can help is if i make my son homeless, as up to that im seen to be coping, what a nightmare , the one consolation is he will then get the help he so needs he is 17 he will never be able to live a lfe like we do so the support he will recieve is hopefully going to help ive tried everything. lorraine xxx

Hi everybody, Carole you sound as if you need a really good holiday, if not that then a weekend of putting your feet up and relaxing, you never seem to stop. Did you find your slipper?
Good news about your MRI scan Waveyone, will it be soon, and I am keeping fingers crossed for your appeal and a good outcome.
Deanna I am sorry but I haven't congratulated you on your grandson yet, so congratulations to all and welcome little man. Also good news about Allan and his appointment, I do hope something is sorted this time for him.
We all seem to be going through a bad time at the moment, has anyone heard from Mary or Elaine? I'm thinking of them both and hoping all goes well.
Liz you are floundering under the weight of your workload, I know you are doing one job at a time but does it all need to be done now. Can any of it wait a week or two, I know you try to keep busy but rest is just as important.
Gill and Gwen I wish I could take your migraines away, I use to suffer terribly when younger but they just stopped, only have headaches now.
Hope everyone else is ok, sorry I can't remember names just lately, have a good weekend.
Eileen I will answer later today, hope you are a bit brighter in yourself, it is so hard to climb out of the black hole.
Take care all.

Caz xx

Hi Betty, so sorry you couldn't get to your Uncle's funeral but he would have understood with you looking after little one, hope he gets better soon.

Hope you will renew so we don't lose touch,
love
Lizx

Hope everyone has a nice weekend and something bright and cheerful happens for you all.
Lizxx

Hi everybody,been popping in now and again. but not been in the mood for writing, finally have my appointment for my MRI.....also my appeal has come though for social as they think I am fit for work.... I would lke them to try to live with my condition for a week and see how they feel.....

Well I did a very stupid thing yesterday.
Took the hoover out and did the hall, kitchen and the living room.

Sat down with the fan on to read my book , as I was absolutely *&^%$£"*... pressed the riser button on my chair...... AND IT BROKE!!

So there was I... exhausted, worried, depressed and could not even put my feet up!!

Went to see the baby last night... and you will not be surprised to hear that he is so very beautiful!
Lisa looks so very very happy. she deserves it, and I hope she is always as happy as she is now.

If my poor boy could have a change of luck... now that really would be wonderful.
His depression is very bad at the moment...makes mine look like childish moaning!

I am going now, as... apart from being tired , I seem to be moaning.... and you don't need that from me, while we are all trying to get well.

Please let me know if we hear anything from Elaine wont you?
Bless you all, and chin up.

Carole
Caz
Ben
Joyce
Kathy
Gill
Claire
Paula
Malc
Rach
Mary
Janet
Liz
Christina
Eileen
Jules
And anyone else I may have forgotten.... please forgive me.... I've done well to come on here today.
Allan hardly slept at all last night, which meant I did not sleep much either!!
He was quite bad through the night.

OH YES
Allan has an appointment with a cardiologist in about two weeks time... thank goodness for that.

NOW I'm gong.... ;-0)

love Deanna XXX

Yesterday I had a head ache that by the time I had arrived home with my shopping it was worse. After eating it got so bad I went for a soak in the bath and oh went to shop to get me some tablets. I ended up going to bed about 9pm. Couldn't sleep. Oh wondered if it was stress as I had to get my car to a garage for work at 8/8:30 am. Found it hard to sleep.
This morning I rolled out of bed brushed teath and slapped on some make up and off I went to my friends as she was following me to give me a lift home, I was fine. But now it's coming back! Going to take it steady today. So if I'm not about thats why.

Love to Mary XXX
Elaine XXX
Kizxx
Eileen xx
Janet XXX
and every one else sorry I can't do a list today xx

Would be the best feeling in the world, Eileen,but would also be good to feel we could help ourselves out of this mood, it is so hard sometimes.
My life is always one step forward, two back, I so relate to the phrase, Stop the world, I want to get off!
I often wish I could freeze a situation for a while as I caught up with something else, but life rolls on apace, and as they say, time and tide waits for no man, or woman lol
Chin up, today is the first day of the rest of your life!
Lizxxx