Find Ancestors

I was told that Gr do not police the Boards,but leave it up to the members.they will only intervene if a complaint is sent in.
I do agree with respecting privacy as Janey has pointed out.a pm is better.
But where i live, anyone can go and look at registers right up to present day,i know it is not on the internet ,but same thing,,still public.
all Janey is saying in simple terms ,is be discreate,and use judgment where you can.

Good idea ... and I wish you good luck! ;)

The problem with the stickies, for people asking for help, is they don't see them -- they're on their "surname boards" most of the time, and tend not to venture out of those dank caves.

But for the people offering help, it could be a useful reminder!

( COUGH )

I am a SILVER SURFER myself & PROUD OF IT !!!



FAIRTHORN

LOL

Infamy, Infamy! They've all got it in for me!

Perhaps we could ask GR to make a new board for example
"Members Views" and these type of posts coud be put on there!

I really don,t want to say this, But janeycanuck you are wasting your time, However valid that your point is.

New members & older members are going to continue with posting info on living people regardless as to what is said and there is no real way to prevent it, Other than relying on the judgement of the person posting the info.

Now can we stop the bickering this is giving me flash backs of being in the school playground 30 yeards ago.

richard

Can anybody at this place discuss ideas rather than persons? Is gossip the highest level we can rise to?

No one here, including myself, is in a position to "dictate" anything. It is therefore ridiculous to characterize anyone as "dictatorial".

If someone disagrees with something someone else says, s/he is at complete liberty to say so, and to say whatever s/he wishes to say him/herself.

Ignoring what someone says in favour of yammering on about how s/he said it or who/what s/he is, is the mark of not having anything worthwhile to say.

Does anyone here think it is appropriate to post personal details -- names, birthdates, names of family members, locations, dates of life events -- about *living people* on the internet, without their knowledge or consent?

If so, could someone state his/her reasons for thinking that?

And in doing that, would s/he be careful to address the arguments *against* doing that, that have been presented here?

That really is how civil discourse works in the real world.

You're right it is available for all to find but people don't bother to take themselves to the library or records office to look for themselves

So i'll still respect peoples privacy

I would hate for someone to ask of my details & people give them out so readily
_________________

Someone came on yesterday looking for his birth Mum, now there are proper channels to go through to look for his birth Mum....who am i to give out her details...i don't know whats gone on

Exactly

the message and point is very valid its just the way its coming across!!

The problem is that all information is available to all and you do not have to be the brain of Britain to find it, otherwise I wouldn't be helping.

I think that most helpers are very aware and respect peoples privacy.

I also think that Janey is coming over very dictatorial, just my opinion of course.

Sylvie

Try this for a scenario, (remember it's not fact though):

I'm a battered wife, I've been in hiding for several years, with my children, trying to escape my abusive ex-partner.

Ex-partner joins GR, posts some details about myself AND children, some kind soul, who is not aware of the facts behind the seperation of said family, helps to "reunite" us.

Marvellous.

Janey IS so right about what she's said here, be warned people. Living people's details should never - and I repeat NEVER - be posted on GR, for a hundred different reasons. You could be opening a can of worms, that should stay firmly, closed.

Moral of the story? You just never know the facts behind these issues, and it's difficult to tell who's genuine, and who's not on an internet forum, so it's best not posted at all.

Gosh, there are so many who can dish it out but can't take it. Or there are wardens on the prowl.

My deleted post upthread suggested that Jonesey address the subject matter of the thread if s/he wished to do so, and refrain from engaging in personal commentary ... or lecturing other members about what to do and how to do it.

Huh. Funny. That's just what Jonesy was telling me to do -- telling me to stop lecturing -- and there's Jonesey's post, still there.

I will reiterate my response to the specifics:

I do not like the idea of requesting the deletion of a post that may have only one problematic aspect (disclosure of third-party personal info) and contain other information valuable to the person who started the thread.

The alternative is to request that the person who posted the personal info remove that part from the post.

And we've seen what the response to that is.

Of course, the real alternative is for all posters just to respet the privacy of people who haven't been asked whether they want their personal lives laid out on the internet.

That has nothing to do with rules or regulations, or the enforcing thereof.

It has to do with common sense and common courtesy, and a request that they be applied when posting information on the internet.

In the real world, there is no law against a lot of things I might think of doing, but there are many things I refrain from doing even if they are not illegal, out of common sense and common courtesy.

Why can't we apply the same approach to the cyber world?

As some one who likes to help people: sometimes I dont always and alot of other people dont always get it right and make mistakes. Common sense tells me not to put information like that on here and I will alway PM.

I used this site to help find my mothers family after she was taken away when she was a child. This site helped me reunite her with her brothers after 65 years apart and to her cousins. If i hadnt put certain information on we may not have the result it did and my mother is grateful for the support. Sometimes for the poster who is seeking information: at that time it is the information that other people provide that is important and upsetting people by it isnt at the fore front of their mind.

I agree it is helpful to be reminded about peoples information and what is being published here.

I agree with the point but its the way it is put forward and the langauge people can be easily misinterpreted. If you want to help and make the suggestions that it might be an idea not to publish it in the public domain: then please do it respectfully and think about how you would be seen. I have seen posts in here from people who just come across as dam right rude although the intention might not be: and then you get into this stupid ongoing cr*p.

Point has been made here enough now i think

Jonesy

In theory that is the way to proceed.

In practice, GR hardly ever delete threads which are reported.....their standard reply is

In this instance, we feel that the thread can remain, but we will be monitoring it.

Monitoring it........my foot.

They care only about revenue.

Thank you, Amokavid. Once again, all the points in issue, neatly summarized.

And thank you Janet for your kind words. Many people in this thread are part of the backbone of worker bees here at GR.

Several of us have noted the great rise in requests to find living family members.

There are really two kinds of requests like that.

One is to find fellow descendants of shared ancestors -- I'd love to find the children and grandchildren of some of my grandparents' siblings in England. That *is* one of the purposes of this site -- to reunite branches of families that have diverged.

The other is to find immediate family one has lost contact with or never known - specifically parents, children and siblings. That is a very different kind of request.

My grandparents' siblings' children -- my father's cousins, in fact -- would have no reason to want to avoid contact from me. Of course, it *still* would not be proper or fair to put their details on the boards.

But people may really have their reasons for not wanting to be contacted by a child, a parent, or a sibling. Or even the child, parent or sibling of a familiy member of theirs.

I have in fact reunited a couple of parent-child units, and the results have been overjoyed people on both sides. But I may rethink this.

I do make a distinction when we are talking about someone of such an age that the missing parent would be deceased now -- people lookng for information about their parent's parent, or their own if they are of an advanced age. That person would be deceased now, and the information is "genealogical", even if it does lead to living relatives.

Hello Janey and Sylvia

I am one of those silver surfers fairthorn spoke of and I am in Scotland. The both of you helped me greatly with only one sharp word from one of you. Please keep up your good work girls, I for one could not have done without you.
Yes!!! living people are entitled to their privacy.

Regards
Janet x

Hi all
I agree totaly about posting living peoples details, i may have been guilty of doing this once out of forgetfulnes and over exitement . I too have found lately there are a lot of requests for living people compared to 6 years ago, I enjoy coming on here to help others with their trees.
Lifes to short ,lets stop this bickering, we all have are opinions on different things, lets agree to disagree, or we are going to have more threads on disagreements than on request for help.

Take care

regards

Tracy

sorry, Angela


I'm sorry if you are offended ............


............. but I would have posted almost exactly what Janey did!


One of the pieces of advice often given to "newbies" is not to keep starting new threads, but to continue with the original thread as long as possible. That way, all the information you had and all the information that was found for you is on one place.




sylvia

Yes but Angela this is about having respect for living peoples details

Yes i was new to this once and i have never post living peoples details. When i 1st joined this site ( 6 years now ) it was more people looking for Ancestors but now people are looking for birth parents & plastering all their detail on a public forum & we the people that do the looking don't know what has gone on & they might not want to be found & i for 1 have to respect that

What a sensitive soul.

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.asp?wci=thread&tk=1152692

If you wish to engage in insult and tantrums, feel free to send me a PM, or to answer my post in your own *&(&$# thread, Angela. One of the many of them.

i just wont to add my note

SORRY but iagree with fairthorn

i to think janeycanuk is lecturing as she has just don it with me

simple thing for you is dont read anything and dont help people

some people are new to using this site and if they make a mistake then offer them polite help and not a long rude lecture like you did to me ur message to me offended me