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Susan, I do think AustinQ's suggestion is a good one, a third party can ask just for the info you want to know about Brian without putting any emotional pressure on the sons to get in touch personally. Worth thinking about?

thank you all for your help i think its obvous they do not want to conect xxx

I think you're right Nyx. Some people are not interested in connecting with family, and some people will obviously be wary of being contacted by someone saying they're related.

I did also suggest to Susan that the Salvation Army might help in contacting family on her behalf, explaining that she is just interested in knowing about Brian and has no wish to upset the family. Having a third party is sometimes easier and puts no pressure on the family to re-establish contact.

Susan, then I think you have to consider the possibility that either you have written to the wrong address ( ie the one who didn't reply has moved) or that the contact via FB assuming you've stated clearly your link( be aware many people would want proof before they accept the word of a stranger because of the various internet scams around), then maybe the sons are not interested. As you say your mother and brother "drifted apart" there may be reasons for that.

It maybe that the sons did not have a good relationship with their father, and prefer not to be in contact with his side of the family? That is just a guess of course.

Personally I would buy the death cert for Lilian, to see what info it gives on informant/nok.

no he def moved to harlow mabel my nan died in havering my mum iris registered her dearth i know for a fact he moved to harlow with wife lilian and had three boys as we used to visit them for some reason my mum and her brother drifted apart brian and lilian came to my nans funeral his mum they were still living in harlow with there 3 boys

1939 REGISTER TRANSCRIPTION
Barker Household (4 People)
44 Blyth Road , West Ham C.B., Essex, England

Charles Barker
DOB 29 Apr 1906
SEX Male
OCCUPATION General Labourer
MARITAL STATUS Married
SCHEDULE 84
SCHEDULE SUB NUMBER 1

Mabel (F) Barker
DOB 15 Jul 1910
SEX Female
OCCUPATION Sack And Bag Machinist
MARITAL STATUS Married
SCHEDULE 84
SCHEDULE SUB NUMBER 2

Sorry, this record is officially closed. Check if you can open a closed record.

Sorry, this record is officially closed. Check if you can open a closed record.



Could he have registered his mother's death? If he did, perhaps he's still at the same address.



First name(s) MABEL FRANCES
Last name BARKER
Gender Female
Birth day 15
Birth month 7
Birth year 1910
Age -
Death quarter 3
Death year 1995
District Havering
District number 2341C
Register number HC76
Entry number 099
Date of registration mm/yy 0795
County Essex
Country England
Record set England & Wales Deaths 1837-2007
Category Birth, Marriage, Death & Parish Records
Subcategory Civil Deaths & Burials
Collections from Great Britain, England
© Findmypast

Susan

What of this info on threads is direct from your mother, and what is something that has been told you by people on the site here? Just wondering if you have bought any certificates to make sure you have the right people?

No sorry I can't see that will so I must have been mistaken on that, probably looked at the wrong year.

yeah they didn't answer x

Did you try writing to the address I gave for David?

contacted them by face book saying there dad didn't have a sister x

Sorry Nyx- I have already passed that facebook info to Sue by pm (in February)

I can't see the will/ probate for that Lilian Rose that died in 1997.

John appears to have married Wendy Nicholls, she is on Facebook as Wendy Nicholls Barker, easy to find...one of her sons is also on there.

no i tried x

Did you purchase the will for Lilian?

I'm still trying to find brian barker he was born in march 1936 in west ham had a sister iris barker born 2nd june 1932 parents charles barker mabel bain i know he married a lilian they gad 3 boys he lived in harlow i have contacted the terry barker and david barker and they have said there dad wasn't brian and he didn't have a sister

If the death of Lilian posted on the other thread is correct

Death Index, 1916-2007 about Lilian Rose Barker
Name: Lilian Rose Barker
Birth Date: 21 Apr 1939
Date of Registration: Sep 1997
Age at Death: 58
Registration district: Enfield
Inferred County: Middlesex
Register Number: D40D
District and Subdistrict: 2271D
Entry Number: 18

She left a will so as a long shot if all else fails , you could buy it to see if there are addresses given for beneficiaries ?

https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/

search Barker 1997, and she is on page 23

stil no luck finding brian barker have wrote to sons no luck

If they are on the ER, there must be an address..............so you can write a letter

If they are on the electoral roll just write.