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Susan - we've been using a combination of Ancestry, Findmypast and Freebmd.

Freebmd, as it implies, is free to use. Its often easier to use for BM&D than Familysearch

Cyril's death

First name(s) CYRIL
Last name WADHAMS
Gender Male
Birth year 1913
Age 4
Death quarter 3
Death year 1917
District MEDWAY
County Kent
Volume 2A
Page 721

Kathleen's death


First name(s) KATHLEEN V
Last name WADHAMS
Gender Female
Birth year 1912
Age 1
Death quarter 1
Death year 1913
District MEDWAY
County Kent
Volume 2A
Page 948

??

England & Wales deaths 1837-2007 Transcription
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First name(s) ERNEST
Last name WADHAMS
Gender Male
Birth day -
Birth month -
Birth year 1888
Age 52
Death quarter 4
Death year 1940
District MEDWAY
County Kent
Volume 2A
Page 2380
Country England
Record set England & Wales deaths 1837-2007
Category Birth, Marriage, Death & Parish Records
Subcategory Deaths & burials
Collections from Great Britain

Emily's death?

EMILY ENA
Last name STACEY
Gender Female
Birth day 22
Birth month 8
Birth year 1909
Age -
Death quarter 3
Death year 1973
District SURREY NORTH WESTERN
County Surrey
Volume 5G
Page 590

Thank you, yes, that makes sense. Kathleen Victoria Wadhams and Cyril Wadhams seem to have disappeared. Have been using Family Search, but no luck yet.. Thank you again for your help.

As Benjamin Tandy and Florence Wadhams/Flower married in Surrey NW, might this be Emily Ena's marriage?

EMILY E
Last name WADHAMS
Marriage quarter 1
Marriage year 1949
Registration month -
Spouse's last name STACEY
District SURREY NORTH WESTERN
District number -
County Surrey
Country England
Volume 5G
Page 1202

1939 Register Transcription

Tandy Household (6 People) 30 Gerald Avenue , Chatham M.B., Kent, England
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First name(s) Last name(s) DOB Sex Occupation Marital status Schedule Schedule Sub Number
Benjamin N Tandy 09 Jun 1873 Male Stevedore Heavy Work Married 56 1
Florence E Tandy 21 Jan 1889 Female Unpaid Domestic Du Married 56 2
William T Tandy 08 Apr 1916 Male Stevedore Heavy Worker Single 56 3
Albert V Tandy 28 Jan 1921 Male ??? Single 56 4
Sorry, this record is officially closed. Check if you can open a closed record.
Peggy L Hiscock (Tandy) 05 Oct 1927 Female At School Single 56 6


England & Wales marriages 1837-2008 Transcription
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First name(s) BENJAMIN N
Last name TANDY
Marriage quarter 1
Marriage year 1950
Registration month -
MarriageFinder™ BENJAMIN N TANDY married
FLORENCE E FLOWER
Spouse's last name TANDY OR WADHAMS OR FLOWER
District SURREY NORTH WESTERN
District number -
County Surrey
Country England
Volume 5G
Page 1175
Record set England & Wales marriages 1837-2008
Category Birth, Marriage, Death & Parish Records
Subcategory Marriages & divorces
Collections from Great Britain

solved

So - their marriage

Marriages Mar 1950 (>99%)
Tandy Benjamin N Tandy Surrey N.W. 5g 1175
Tandy Benjamin N Wadhams Surrey N.W. 5g 1175
Tandy Benjamin N Flower Surrey N.W. 5g 1175

Flower Florence E Tandy Surrey N.W. 5g 1175
Tandy Florence E Tandy Surrey N.W. 5g 1175
Wadhams Florence E Tandy Surrey N.W. 5g 1175

What the entry means is that she was born as Flower, married a Wadhams but was known as Tandy. 3 entries but only one marriage certificate.

Births Sep 1873 (>99%)
TANDY Benjamin Nimrod Medway 2a 435

Benjamin N Tandy on the 1939 Register

1939 Register Transcription

Tandy Household (6 People) 30 Gerald Avenue , Chatham M.B., Kent, England
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View original image
Print
First name(s) Last name(s) DOB Sex Occupation Marital status Schedule Schedule Sub Number
Benjamin N Tandy 09 Jun 1873 Male Stevedore Heavy Work Married 56 1
Florence E Tandy 21 Jan 1889 Female Unpaid Domestic Du Married 56 2
William T Tandy 08 Apr 1916 Male Stevedore Heavy Worker Single 56 3
Albert V Tandy 28 Jan 1921 Male ??? Single 56 4
Sorry, this record is officially closed. Check if you can open a closed record.
Peggy L Hiscock (Tandy) 05 Oct 1927 Female At School Single 56 6

Ref: RG101/1693C/006/29 Letter Code: © Findmypast Ltd
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My grandmother, Florence, married my grandfather, Benjamin Nimrod Tandy later in life I think. Their children were, Benjamin, William, Sylvia, Albert, Peggy and John. All known as Tandy, as was myself. Ena was brought up by my grandfather, but I have never heard of Kathleen or Cyril. Maybe they died in infancy. Hope this helps.

Susan

We really don't want to send you off down the wrong road, so please, please tell us what you are certain of.

For a start - Who were your grandparents? When & where did they marry? What surname did Florence use when she married him?

the only birth for a emily ena wadhams in 1911 census

Births Sep 1909 (>99%)
Wadhams Emily Ena Manchester 8d 269

and another
Name: Florence E Flower
Registration Year: 1910
Registration Quarter: Jul-Aug-Sep
Registration district: Greenwich
Parishes for this Registration District: View Ecclesiastical Parishes associated with this Registration District
Inferred County: London
Volume: 1d
Page: 2039
Records on Page:
Name
Charles S Barrett
Florence E Flower
Ada C Marden
Philip G Matthews

it would really help to know what you know

EDIT - later post by Susan explains who Florence's second spouse was

2nd marriage?
Marriages Sep 1937 (>99%)
Brooks John T Wadhams Croydon 2a 2170
Wadhams Florence E Brooks Croydon 2a 2170

Marriages Jun 1914 (>99%)
Palmer Harry C Wadhams Hendon 3a 712
Wadhams Florence E Palmer Hendon 3a 712

Are we going completely wrong - EDIT - this bit is!

Births Mar 1889 (>99%)
Flower Florence Emma Lewisham 1d 1184

the only ena i can find born 1910

FLOWER Ena A Wandsworth

If she married again later, then there's something is wrong with the 1939 register. It would normally show any subsequent name changes

If you do have another thread about the Flower's, please give the link. There's nothing worse for 'helpers' than to find they've covered known 'ground'.

there is a scanned copy of the marriage cert on ancestry,
father harry flower a hairdresser as in 1911 census
Henry G Flower Head Married Male Hairdresser 46 1865 London St Pancras
Transcription
Charity Flower Wife Married Female Assisting In The Business 41 1870 Kent Chiddingstone
Transcription
Bertram H Flower Son Single Male Hairdresser 17 1894 London Lambeth
Transcription
Victor Flower Son - Male School 10 1901 Kent Gravesend
Transcription
Ivy Flower Daughter - Female - 5 1906 Kent Strood
Transcription
Lilian Flower Daughter - Female - 4 1907 Kent Strood
Transcription
Ernest Flower Son - Male - 2 1909 Kent Strood
Transcription
Violet M Flower Daughter - Female - 0 1911 Kent Canterbury

there is also a baptism record scanned on ancestry dated 23/02/1892, she was born 21st january 1889
lived at 152 waterloo road, father a hairdresser