Find Ancestors

I said this on the previous thread, which got zapped, but I am going to say it again! If Newbies are going to be put off asking for help BECAUSE THEY ARE EXPECTED TO SAY THANKYOU (capitals deliberate), or at least acknowledge that they have seen the help.......well, erm.... OC

Reggie, exactly what I thought - how can anyone 'accidently' not say please or thankyou - (and how do you 'do genealogy in a rush') LOL. You get people write great swathes of requests so its not like they are incapacitated in anyway - it is just very poor manners.

Added by Mary Whetton on 27/05/2007 17:12:46 Hi June Hear Hear!!! Lets hope some of the guilty ones read this thread,but I suppose that is too much to hope for. I noticed that you provided a great deal of info to someone on a thread and virtually gave her the entire history of her family back to pre 1841.Lucky girl!!! She is on my 'black list' as a multiple requester and a non acknowledger,does not appear to have done any research herself. Incidentally I have no wish that people are 'eternally grateful' to me for finding lost rellies,but what I do expect is that they at least have the courtesy to say a simple 'thank you'. If we stopped doing lookups where would all the freeloaders get their info?????I bet they would not be prepared to pay for it. Mary I think calling people freeloaders is probaly more rude than not saying thank you!. Maybe some people can't afford subscriptions to various sites.Stop doing look ups if it bothers you that much, I'm sure there are plenty of others who don't get all holier than thou for helping. I stopped using this site for quite a while and now I remember why,

I make no apologies for using the word 'freeloaders'. There are obviously some people who do NO background research to help themselves and expect others to do all their work for them. I am not taking a 'holier than thou attitude' and I never have done in all the 3 + years I have been using this site. ALL I am asking for is that people use the many FREE sites that are available and do a little for themselves before asking for help. I DO HOPE I HAVE MADE MY POINT CLEARLY. Mary

You don't need to type in capitals, I can read perfectly fine thank you. To all the 'Free loaders' I have access to ancestry and am happy to do any look ups without feeling the need to insult you or for you to express your undying gratitude!

Linda If you asked a neighbour to get you some shopping while she was out, would you then take it off her without a word of thanks, or even a word? No, I'm sure you wouldn't! Can't see the difference, myself - someone does something for you that they don't HAVE to do, and the vast majority of people would say thankyou. That's all thiis thread is about. The lack of a thankyou, or even an acknowledgement, not eternal gratitude. OC

I'm entitled to my own opinion. I think it's wrong to call those asking for look ups 'free loaders' as I said before I now know why I hardly use this web site anymore. Some people are too far up themselves for my liking

OC Yes but, what i have said all along is you have a choice to help, if someone hasn't said please, then it your choice to do the look-up or not. If some-one hasn't said thank you, its your choice to help them again or not. It's doesn't bother me if there is no please in the heading,and everyone that i have helped have said thanks Julie

Julie I agree, everyone has a choice whether to help or not - and an awful lot of really helpful people are now exercising that choice and NOT helping anyone, which is a shame. Hazel Why do you feel embarrassed and reluctant? You always say thankyou, and are appreciative, so this post doesn't apply to you, or to anyone like you! OC

Julie, you say everyone you have helped have said thanks - so perhaps thats why you dont feel upset about those who dont. I spent hours - literally - the other day for one person (I was even late for an appointment because I got so engrossed in finding these people) and she didnt even acknowledge all the info I posted. Im sorry, but that is just rude. We all enjoy helping people get started and finding difficult information - and we all realise its only a small minority who are this rude, but rude they are.

Linda You are reading far too much into my freeloader comment.If I was not happy to do lookups I would not bother,my comment is aimed at those who obviously do no background research for themselves before asking for help.eg asking for help with 1881 census (which is fee to search via LDS site),those who ask for BMD lookups when the info is freely available on the full Ancestry index etc ,etc. The Genes adverts I believe are responsible for people getting the wrong idea that you only have to join and all lookups on here are free and the impression that is given is that Genes do the research,which as we all know is totally incorrect because they have no input into the threads offering lookups,since these are offered by members out of a willingness to help. Would you please define the phrase 'up themselves' as I am not quite sure what it means. Mary

OC Im sorry, but i have to disagree with you there, there are still a lot of people on here helping others out. Julie

So why do people start threads offering look ups for information that is freely available?

The absence of a please or a thank you doesn't bother me half as much as the fact that some people do not acknowledge the information found for them ........................... there is no sign that they have even taken it in. Yet, in many instances they HAVE returned to the thread, only to post something like 'can't be mine, the age is wrong', or 'Can someone help please?' In other words ................. there is a complete ignoring of information provided, which may cover several postings, and much time. I agree that many newbies do not know how the threads work ..... that's why so many of us add 'click on Add Reply to answer on the thread'. But it is the complete ignoring of information provided that bothers me ................. I know what Heather is talking about because I was involved on that same thread last week ................. the person asking just kept putting up another thread requesting the same information. She eventually had it provided at least 3 times by about 6 different people, all of whom duplicated each other's work! Sylvia

I have had a lot of help from people doing look ups for me ,as i am still new at this p c lark,i am very grateful to those who have helped, i always say please and thankyou ,it is good manners Chris xxx