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Update!! Advice please re making contact

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 13:08

Further to an earlier thread offering look ups in Canada I now have a phone number and address for a possible older half brother who I have never met. He might not even know of my existence. If it is the sibling he will be in his 70's.
I am sitting here thinking write, phone, write, phone.
What would you do?

Thank you

GlitterBaby

GlitterBaby Report 6 Apr 2008 13:13

Never been in this situation.

I would favour writing with some basic info and hope the person replies.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


Maureen

***Michelle***

***Michelle*** Report 6 Apr 2008 13:13

Hi Lyndi

I would if it was me write,it will prob come as a shock to the person and is easier to take in when in writing.Also it gives him the option to decline if he doesn't want to contact you.Hard one i know and you really need to do whats right for you.Have a good think 1st.Also writing allows you to explain things better.
Good luck!

Michelle

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 13:16

Heart is shouting ring ring ring, but head is saying the same as everyone here - cool it and write.
Thank you for your input x

Janet 693215

Janet 693215 Report 6 Apr 2008 14:56

Be incredibly careful. Write to him saying you think you have a common relation. Under no circumstances say that you think he may be your brother. You may have to strike up a relationship with him before revealing your actual connection.

I know someone who has been looking for a friends birth sibling. The letter was sent saying that X was looking for the children of Y and Z (his parents) and was he related. Well he phoned X to confirm that Y and Z were his parents. X then revealed that it was his sister who was searching for him. Unfortunately he was unaware that he had a sister. He explained that he was taken in to care and had no contact with his parents.

A week or so later he wrote to X saying he had been confused by the letter, he was not the son of Y and Z and he didn't wish to have contact.

I know this is a different circumstance but please be careful.

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 15:11

Thank you for that advice Janet.
I have been thinking about how to word the letter.
Will put some more thought into and bear your advice in mind.

Regards
Lyndi

dee from manchester

dee from manchester Report 6 Apr 2008 16:54

hi lyndi
i traced a brother i did not even know about and i wrote to him and put my phone number and he phoned and me a couple of days later and we are meeting up shortly i just put some basic info and sent a picture of dad
good luck Dee

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 17:45

Heart won!!
I phoned - and I have just had an amazing conversation with the widow of my half brother.
Sadly he died last year - but she is going to send me a photo, and has asked me to keep in touch.
Thank you for your input everyone - I did consider each point made, but in the end my heart over ruled my head and my tendency to impatience and being impetuous won.
Special thanks to Katrina
xx