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Update!! Advice please re making contact

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 17:45

Heart won!!
I phoned - and I have just had an amazing conversation with the widow of my half brother.
Sadly he died last year - but she is going to send me a photo, and has asked me to keep in touch.
Thank you for your input everyone - I did consider each point made, but in the end my heart over ruled my head and my tendency to impatience and being impetuous won.
Special thanks to Katrina
xx

dee from manchester

dee from manchester Report 6 Apr 2008 16:54

hi lyndi
i traced a brother i did not even know about and i wrote to him and put my phone number and he phoned and me a couple of days later and we are meeting up shortly i just put some basic info and sent a picture of dad
good luck Dee

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 15:11

Thank you for that advice Janet.
I have been thinking about how to word the letter.
Will put some more thought into and bear your advice in mind.

Regards
Lyndi

Janet 693215

Janet 693215 Report 6 Apr 2008 14:56

Be incredibly careful. Write to him saying you think you have a common relation. Under no circumstances say that you think he may be your brother. You may have to strike up a relationship with him before revealing your actual connection.

I know someone who has been looking for a friends birth sibling. The letter was sent saying that X was looking for the children of Y and Z (his parents) and was he related. Well he phoned X to confirm that Y and Z were his parents. X then revealed that it was his sister who was searching for him. Unfortunately he was unaware that he had a sister. He explained that he was taken in to care and had no contact with his parents.

A week or so later he wrote to X saying he had been confused by the letter, he was not the son of Y and Z and he didn't wish to have contact.

I know this is a different circumstance but please be careful.

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 13:16

Heart is shouting ring ring ring, but head is saying the same as everyone here - cool it and write.
Thank you for your input x

***Michelle***

***Michelle*** Report 6 Apr 2008 13:13

Hi Lyndi

I would if it was me write,it will prob come as a shock to the person and is easier to take in when in writing.Also it gives him the option to decline if he doesn't want to contact you.Hard one i know and you really need to do whats right for you.Have a good think 1st.Also writing allows you to explain things better.
Good luck!

Michelle

GlitterBaby

GlitterBaby Report 6 Apr 2008 13:13

Never been in this situation.

I would favour writing with some basic info and hope the person replies.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


Maureen

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 6 Apr 2008 13:08

Further to an earlier thread offering look ups in Canada I now have a phone number and address for a possible older half brother who I have never met. He might not even know of my existence. If it is the sibling he will be in his 70's.
I am sitting here thinking write, phone, write, phone.
What would you do?

Thank you