Genealogy Chat

I too had tears in my eyes when I read your story, and a smile at the thought of plotting to smuggle the items out of the archives but I think Breen's idea that the records office is a government department withholding personal property is wide of the mark. The county archives is there to make sure items such as these are preserved, and available to be seen. Without them probably no one, whether relation or not would have got to see the letter as it could well have been destroyed or just deteriorated until unreadable. If it went to a family member it would be a huge responsiblity to keep it in good condition - imagine how it would feel to find the little bags had crumbled to dust in your care! At least this way all family members will be able to 'visit' it and know it is cared for by the archive staff.

Janet Thank you for sharing your story, what an amazing find, I have tears in my eyes as I am typing. My husband can never understand how I can get upset by things like this, but I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one. I will have to remember to employ Heather & Merry if I ever want to remove something from a RO LOL Lynn :-D

******rushes out to buy emergency tweezers****** Merry

You are just so modest Merry.

Thank you Janet for posting this - I haven't yet visited a Records Office & didn't realise, in my innocence, that such things were stored there! It makes the past seem all the more real. Heather P-T Fancy thinking of making a duplicate!! (Great idea tho') Angela

............and I suppose I'm the grey bearded attendant? Merry

All I can say Jan, is bodily orifices. Hanky in hand, over box, new sachet bunged in precious one picked up. It can be done! Meanwhile clumsy middle aged lady with half a cockney/half norfolk accent lands on floor with legs in air whilst a flirty young beauty from Dorset blinks admiringly at the grey bearded attendant.

Now you know why they confiscated my see through plastic bag before I entered the reading room, AND nodded approvingly when I grabbed my hanky, saying 'I'm sorry but I must have this only I haven't a pocket to put it in!' - I thought they were just being sympathetic about my summer cold!!! Jay

There you go Jan, if you want a couple of artful dodgers to help you next time you visit - me and Merry are your guys. To do the 'job' really professionally, Id make up a similar sachet to the ones in the box and bung it in under the other - just in case there is a list with the contents when you hand it back.

I agree 101% with everything Heather says...... (and am rather glad the reputation of my Bedford Pierce may have been slightly restored!) Merry

How very touching - I think may be one of the lavender sachets would have been secreted about my person when I left. I mean who else is going to check the box again? Lovely story and well done you for finding this. I know a lot of people think that we are just nosey or mad to do this research but personally I think its wonderful that we are remembering people who would otherwise been forgotten

Thank you everyone for your interest in Emma. Merry, don't feel bad, as it was before his time! Emma was a Quaker too, and from Norfolk. In the letter she refers to 'Friends' and addresses her niece as 'thee' I think Emma was there for many years, but I'm not sure why. She had several children, but they all died within a few days or a few weeks of birth - have often wondered if she suffered from some form of post-natal depression? I don't know much about her husband and can't remember when he died. She is referred to as a widow, so possibly her husband's death caused some sort of depression? She had one brother (the firstborn), quite a lot older than her, then all subsequent babies died very shortly after birth, and finally there was Emma, who in turn lost all HER babies - I've wondered about blood disease and the rhesus factor? The brother died in 1820 (at the age of 47) four years before Emma married and most of his children seem to have died of the dreaded TB before they reached tha age of 30, apart from the one daughter, the niece to whom Emma was writing. So, the poor soul seems to have been surrounded by family tragedy.Any wonder if she went over the edge? Merry, I wouldn't worry too much about the Retreat - at the time of the legal document (1853) there was an outstanding sum of £216-19-9d owed to the manager - a colossal sum in those days. Distant relatives were trying to get permission for the accumulated interest on a large capital sum (bequeathed by Emma's father) to be paid to the Retreat, and some of the capital too. Most places would have turned a patient out before they owed that sort of cash! Jay

As a mature male I must admit I had tears in my eyes when I read this, surely as a descendant you should be able to have these precious items ?

Merry please dont blame yourself you sound a lot like me , but you could not help what happened.I know what you mean about leaving things too late though.

A little while back I wrote to Bedford P's granddaughter, because I knew how much she thought of her granddad, but she had died aged 90 the previous month.....(Tip, don't leave it too late!) I still feel bad......Maybe Janet's relation was at The Retreat at an earlier date??? Merry

Janet I cried when I read this too, I know how you feel I myself am always crying about long lost rellies,my husband thinks I am mad. Just think how lucky you are to have found out so much.Merry nobody could possibly blame you for what someone else did a long time ago.We all know you are a genuinely nice person, and would never have condoned it.Isnt it a weird coincidence he was in charge of the very place Janet is talking about.

I feel TERRIBLE........ My relative, Bedford Pierce, was the head psychiatrist at The Retreat from 1892 - 1922. He was supposed to be very forward thinking in his views about mental illness and I had always held him in esteem........... Now though.......that is terrible, isn't it??? Fancy holding back all these letters etc etc.....I wonder WHY????? Some other members of my family were patients at The Retreat too.......(does that make up for it??) Very many apologies on behalf of my relative.....I can only think this was supposed to be ''for the best''. Quakers are not deliberately cruel people.....:o(( Merry

It brought tears to my eyes as well, as it would espeically when you have touched things that Emma made, Im sure you must of felt a connection with her and no doubt she felt something as well im sure she did. I think Emma wouldnt mind at all. I know its sad, but also very wonderful and special. Best Wishes Yvonne

What a very touching tale-had I had been there I would have cried with you, I get upset when I discover a relative who died shorlty after birth, or very young-sometimes I wonder why we put ourselves through this-then I remember......

Hi Janet i feel for you totally. It is a shame that they never sent post. If i was in your situation i think i would be thinking about putting bits in my pocket as it is no use to them, even though guilt would get the better of me. I would cry as well i think as this is one of your family members (distant) but it's a realisisation to you that they did actually live. Jen