General Chat

lol Sue, that almost got a giggle....

BC you are probably right about my aura :( and I am going for a bath soon because I smell of bike oil........

I am off to keep my OH company :-)))))))))

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'. The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind', so he gave me a kite.

I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu. So I went, and I got it.'

I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty.........but she's great with the kids!


Nothing to beat old Tommy Cooper.

Aileen xxx

Almost got a giggle, Rose? Is that all you can say? I gave it my best shot and that's all the thanks I get.

You're hard work, lady!

Sue x

Night night Hayley :))

Sue, Aileen, thanks for trying :)

what's a "liverpool kiss"?

Stella it's a head butt lol

Hi,

I just joined tonight. I am really shy.

Can I join your argument. I just want to get off on the right footing.

So, how can I upset you all.

The Bruiser

oh right..thanks Rose....lol

Stella, something has made me laugh though...I googled Liverpool kiss just to see what it said and found this on Yahoo Answers site

"What is a Liverpool Kiss?
Is it like a French Kiss?"


Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

It's a headbutt, i.e. hitting someone else's head with yours. "Singles and dating" isn't exactly the right category for this! " lol

Come on..... put em up!

The Bruiser

lol Rose

better not tell you the image i had in my head of you and Keith.haaaaa

Okay we will start with kisses.....

Fancy a Glasgow kiss or maybe a jaggy bunnet?

The Bruiser

*flicks peanuts at the Bruiser.......

Bike oil ??????

Get cleaned up before you read my pm.

Hi Bruiser

There are many ways to upset people on here lol, you could...

post twenty times on the same subject .
tell everyone it's the worst site you have been on and everyone is an idiot,
you could say you have knocked down every brick wall in your tree and that you have concrete proof it can be traced back to the first century.....

you could even say you are sitting there with a huge and delicious bar of chocolate, which you won't share lol

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, 'You know, I know everyone there

is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.'

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Dave, how about

Tom Cruise?'



'No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.' So

Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door

and Tom Cruise shouts, 'Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come

on in for a beer! Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him

knowing Cruise was just lucky.



'No, no, just name anyone else,' Dave says. 'President Bush,' his boss

quickly retorts.

'Yup,' Dave says, 'Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington .'



And off they go.



At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his

boss over, saying, Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a

meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of

coffee first and catch up.'



Well, the boss is much shaken by now but still not totally convinced.



After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to

Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.



'The Pope,' his boss replies.



'Sure!' says Dave. 'I've known the Pope for years.'



So off they fly to Rome .



Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when

Dave says, 'This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among

all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just

go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope.'



He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican . Sure enough,

half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by

the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack

and is surrounded by paramedics.



Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him,



'What happened?'



His boss looks up and says,



'It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and

the man next to me said,



'Who the f***'s that on the balcony with Dave?'

goes to google "janny bunnet'.... ( I might enjoy a kiss FROM someone in Glasgow...but not a Glasgow Kiss lol )

rotflmao........I just nudged this joke up on Gen as Chat in this form wasn't around then :))

Hope you enjoyed it Rose :))

Lol! Suzy...thats the first time I laughed today! Brilliant! BCXX