General Chat

Our daughter rang me last week. MUM i need a favour !! her stepson who lives with them and has learning difficulties on the autistic spectrum is on half term hollies this week . He goes to special needs school and she has adjusted her working time around his schooling .
He will be going to his mum on Wed & Thursday as per court order but not sure if his mum will take him as she finds him difficult to cope with .

So Mum can he come to you on Sunday evening till Tuesday and then possibly back for Friday . Cant say no cos her job wont give her unpaid leave

He is 13 going on 6!! but has tantrums etc and possible now teenage hormones kicking in .

He is obsessed with the PC Knows more than me on how to use some things like powerpoint . Will run out the print cartridges in a day with obsessive printing . Have been told to limit his printing

He is into Justins house and has been sending me numerous emails with various images so he will be wanting to print them.

He is a lovely lad but a handful needs 24/7 attention . Thank goodness I can escape for a time tomorrow afternoon cos have a dental appointment

Oh the joys . Hope OH can cope too with his short fuse now

Good luck Shirley. Having had my 17yr old nephew out here for 9days who is ADHD highly intelligent, very short fused, and a lack of understanding about broad spectrum's of speech. So yes you have to say exactly what you want. I feel admiration for any mother.
Let us know how you get on and remember we are here when you need to scream. <3

Shirley, I really feel for you. We just cant say no to our kids, can we. A bit different , I know but we look after our 5mth old twin grandaughters on a thurs afternoon and last week when we had them oh had a migraine (he also had a mild stroke a couple of weeks ago) Both are teething and one of them had an absolute hissy fit and just wouldn't stop screaming for about an hour then the other one joined in. I ended up walking around with one in each arm trying to sooth both of them :( Boy was I shattered when they went home. Absolutly love them to bits BUT they are hard work at the moment. Hope all goes well for you next week. :-)

Thanks folks

Really getting past it now . Daughter is aware we are getting on and doesn't like to ask but sometimes needs must . Having been a working mum too I do know hollies can be a problem . We were lucky cos had both mums still around and they were much younger than us .

But you have to step in sometimes when needs must .

Love him to bits but can honestly say am glad when he goes home . Have the biggest admiration for our daughter coping with him mostly on her own cos her hubby works away all week .

Thank goodness I have my I Pad cos the PC won't be available to me for a couple of days

Good luck I'm sure you will cope well. Treat yourselves to something nice and spoil yourselves when he's gone home. :-)

Hope the grandson sitting hasn't been too difficult for you both Shirley and the visit to the dentist was ok too, and not too expensive.


Lizxx

I had my two youngest grandchildren (11 year old Alice & 7 year old Edward + two kittens!) staying with us from Saturday till yesterday early evening and although they are both very good and a pleasure to be with, they are, well, Ed is, 'lively', and today I do feel quite exhausted! My parents, years ago were brilliant with both of mine, BUT as you said Shirley, they were a LOT younger than we are! as in, in their fifties, OH and I are in our seventies, spot the difference!! Looking after your step grandson must be very draining and I do admire you for helping out, I'm not sure that I could manage that sort of commitment, I'm just too old and so is OH. I do hope all goes well for you.

Magpie me too ,am 77 next month and hubby is 80 next month too .

We have had tantrums both days because he was told no more printing as he goes overboard. Will run out new cartridges in one day! He is obsessed with the computer but I don't mind him using it to watch things on bbc I player .he adores Justin's house and the house jumps with vibration as he turns up the speakers and does his version of dancing

It didn't go well today when i said no more paper he started & .told me to F off . This is his latest thing . He started ranting and I said no wingeing or it's no computer your choice ! He switched the computer off without it being logged off and thumped the PC tower . Afraid my instinct was to shout at him don't you dare do that to my computer and I smacked him on his arm . Whoops will be in trouble now if he tells him mum cos she will report me to the social services .

He ranted and went into his bedroom slamming things around and kicking the door ,I left him too it till I heard drawers being slammed around . Don't want my home damaged so I went in and spoke to him and was told to F off again and leave me alone,

I sat on the bed and said very calmly that's not nice to talk to nanny that way. He was quiet for a mo and then said sorry nanny .sorry for swearing , I said ok thank you for saying sorry and nanny is sorry too for smacking your arm we had a big cuddle and he wouldn't let me go ,

It's not easy having him here .daughter will be picking him up later. Two days respite and he will be back Thursday evening to stay over till Friday evening .

Thank goodness it's only a half term thing . :-( :-(

Shirley, you are a saint. It must be so hard for you. I have three of our grandchildren here today. Ages 5. 2 and 7 months. Our youngest daughter who is 26 has autism and disabilities. When she comes home at 3.30 and sees the children she will want them to go home. She likes routine. She never gets violent but does not like certain noises, vacuum, washing machine, kids etc. so I try to get it all done before she comes home. It is hard work but don't we just love them. x

Shirley, you and your husband are doing brilliantly!

Your daughter wouldn't have asked if she wasn't desperate, but with the lads health condition you will both be worn out this week. I have little knowledge of Autism/ADHD and am learning through reading your thread just how difficult this condition is for the children and family alike.
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Enjoy your couple of days peace and quiet and I hope all goes well for you on Friday. xx

Oh Lord Shirley, it does sound hard work, I do feel for you and think you are wonderful, but do be mindful of your own health and that of your hubby. I was 71 about three weeks ago and OH is 74 in July and although we are fine, we have had a brush with prostate cancer, high blood pressure, and other 'niggles', so have to be a bit 'mindful', but in your case the situation is obviously a million times more stressful, so do be careful. I wouldn't worry too much about the smacked arm, I don't think anyone is going to frown at that, but if they do,(social),suggest that they take over!! From where I'm sitting, you are doing a fab job, so don't put up with any ##### from anyone!!!! same with you Sylvia, it makes me realise how lucky OH and I are with our children/grandchildren. that they were/are just lively and nothing else.

Shirley you are doing so well, I am 74 this year and OH will be 76 and I know we would find your situation stressful. normally behaved children when you are out of the habit of looking after them, are hard work however much we love them, those with learning and other disabilities are even harder work as they don't understand. I think you defused the situation well. You could maybe disconnect the PC (remove the fuse from the plug or something? And tell him it is broken. But then you have to occupy him in some other way.

The problem is, as our children have their children older than we did so Grandparents are much older. And these days more and more grandparents are expected to look after the grandchildren. Ours have always lived too far away for us to mind on a weekly basis but we did used to have the three boys for a week in the school holidays. But we were younger then. In April we are going to look after our two youngest grandchildren, but they are 11 and 17 so no trouble as they more or less look after themselves and our 17 year old grandson is very responsible, neither are any trouble. But we will still be tired!! :-)

Hi Shirley, you sure are doing well. Know what it's like, we thought we would have a quite life when we retired, but daughter started work 3 yrs ago so we had the youngest most weeks, no trouble but exhausting.

Through housing problems youngest daughter and husband are in a 1 bedroom flat, so eldest grandson who is 16, and 6'1"already, has been living with us since April. Never had so much washing, food bill doubled and have to drive back to school.

Daughter said "I didn't want you and dad to get bored". Love him to death but we have to suffer the joy of a typical moody hormonal teenager. Plus side have taught him to cook so he does do breakfast at week-ends :-D

Carol

Shirley, I hope you and your husband have rested the last two days and will have a better day tomorrow with your grandson.

He is here again arrived at 8pm Has been a little B the last two days daughter tells me . He arrived all highly strung up and noisy . hubby was getting annoyed as he was trying to watch George Gently .

Daughter went at 9pm and Kieran was told its bed now . Daughter had been to her acupuncture after work , done an Asda shop gone home and had a sandwich then drove to pick him up from his mum then an hours drive to us .In her hurry to get out she forgot to pack Gizmo .his soft toy he takes to bed with him . he had a bit of a tantrum about it but I told him he would have to manage without and it was only for one night ,he did winge but was tired so settled down . hopefully he is asleep now .

Tomorrow is another day lol.

Oh poor you Shirley, I suppose Kieran was hyped up from being with his mother for the two days. Hope he has slept ok without Gizmo and will be ok today for you both.

I know how hyper o.h.'s granddaughter is at the age of 3, her paternal grandmother can't cope with her now so she stays over to look after little lad who will be 1 in March and the gdaughter is taken to nursery for the two days grandma stays. She has to travel over 80 miles now, double the trainfare and time to get there and stays for two days while d.i.l. goes to work, driving back to their old location which is a 100 mile round trip on those two days. She works from home on Thursdays and both children go to nursery. All this so o.h.'s son has a shorter commute to work, as trains are so unreliable it was getting difficult and he was losing so much time with the children each day. Now he gets home at least an hour earlier and doesn't have to leave quite so soon in the mornings. Given the problems they have found with the new house they have a lot to do at home too so are very stressed. I am not sure I would want to spend more than a day with granddaughter as she is very wilful and has been spoiled a lot, now they are struggling with how hyper she is. Good thing little lad is so much calmer and easier to manage.

I hope I won't be too old when/if my son finally starts a family, but even lifting the children is hard for me now with my dodgy joints and such.

Well done to all grandparents coping with childcare, it seems to be more and more necessary these days due to cost of nursery places and the need for Mums to work as well as Dads/

Lizx

Shirley, here's hoping that Kieran finally settled well last night and will be less difficult today. You have a hard job spinning the plates whilst trying to please your husband, daughter and grandson.
No easy task, but you can only do your best and your daughter will love you all the more for your help and support. I am thinking of you today and sending positive vibes your way. Good luck. xx

Thinking of you

He has just left with our daughter.

We were lucky he was very good today.mind you I didn't have use of the PC all day and had to go out to get more black ink for the printer . I only put new cartridges in on Tuesday and the black one was nearly out . He came with me and we went into costa coffee for a drink and he had some crisps . Didn't want him to eat too much as his lunch was going to be a hour plus later .

He ate a good lunch nothing wrong with his appetite lol

He slept OK without his Gizmo but that was the first thing he said to our daughter when she got here that she hadn't put gizmo in and gizmo would be sad and miss him

He never stops talking and wanting attention so the house now needs a good tidy up as no housework done this week as we had appointments on Wednesday &Thursday still a little bit of dust doesn't hurt anyone .

Phew am knackered now and need a couple of glasses of wine to wind down

Sending you ))))BIG HUGS (((( xxx