General Chat

To those on here that work with ASN pupils in school, have you ever been told "you will be referred to by your christian name and not mrs, miss or mr"?

I have heard today that if parents insist that you are called by your christian name in class then you have no right to challenge this.

Surely i have a right not to be called say "florence" infront of children.

Does anyone know where i can find out where we stand on this as i know many staff who are not happy about it.

Florence
in the hebrides :-S

Not sure where you can find information Florence.

My niece helps a little boy on a one to one basis and he calls her by her first name.

When my children were at Junior school all the teachers were called by their first names which was never a problem.

What is the schools rational for this decision?
Personally I don't object to being called by my first name by children.
Sorry I can't be more helpful
Von

I work as an SNTA in a junior school, none of the staff or helpers are called by their first names in school.

I think that maybe, by dropping the Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms the children might see us as just another set of friends and cross that fine line of mutual respect that we have at the school.

I doubt if any of the younger ones have any other adults in their lives who are known as Mr Mrs Miss or Ms something or other, apart from in school.

Personally in the circumstance you refer to I would remind the school that I also have rights.......one of them is to be addressed by my full name by every child in the school.


:-)

Thanks von. Well apparently if the parents want us to be called by first names and also refer to other teachers infront of said child, even the head teacher by their first name, it appears we dont have any right to challenge them.

I mean if the head is walking along the corridor, do you think it's right i should say "excuse me Jane etc.".. instead of "excuse me Mrs Smith" infront of all the other children? yes when you are one to one in a room where there are no other children, that's ok with me but not when you are in a mainstream class .

I can see some of the upper primary children taking advantage of this and maybe losing respect. being called miss or mrs or mr just gives that little bit of distance and lets the children know that you are not their friend but their teacher.

maybe it's just me but my colleagues where i work also share the same opinion.

just wanted others to tell me what goes on in their schools for comparrison really.

florence
in the hebrides

I taught for many years and never had a problem with the children calling me by my first name. I still do some work with teenagers and they all call me by my first name.

In mainstream schools the norm was usually Ms, Miss or Mrs but when I worked with children with challenging behaviour it was first names to help develop a relationship of trust.

I never had any problems with children losing respect -still don't.

In our primary the staff from teachers to MDAs are all called Mr/Mrs/Miss (surname) .
Children calling us by our first names would put us on a mate footing rather than them see us as someone in a position of authority.

In our secondary school the teachers are known by Mr/Mrs/Miss (surname) , but normally shortened to Sir or Ma'am.

I help as a volunteer in our local primary school and am always known as Mrs.(Surname), but another volunteer, a little older than me, is known by her first name. That is her choice.
I am on first name terms with most of the teachers, having been working / helping there for many years, but wouldn't dream of speaking to them in such a familiar way in front of the children and the teachers wouldn't use my first name there either, in those circumstances.

Many of the children do know my first name, but I am happy with the school arrangement that when in school we are just a little more formal., for the same reasons as Kitty and Florence have given.

In after-school activities, I help at a club once a week. I don't mind at all if the children use my first name there, because it is a more casual environment, but generally they tend to use my 'school' name.

Gwyn

I don't think children lose any respect because they use a first name.

I have taught in school for most of my adult life and still do some workshops in school and we ask to be introduced by our first names. I will say we are given the choice though.

The little boy that my niece helps has really challenging behavior and I think it is probably easier for him to use her first name. He has come on in leaps and bounds since she has been working with him and is now behaving really well.

Mind you having said all this my own grandchildren call us by our first names sometimes and sometimes they call us Grandma and Grandad. :-D :-D :-D

It's interesting to hear the other side of the discussion.

I suspect I tend to stick to the view that if it works, why change it :-D

I have always disliked the idea that teachers should not be called by their first names.

It smacks of demanding un-earned respect to me.

The fact that we did not know the first names of our teachers made it imperative that we should find out by any means we could but it certainly did not lead us to respect them.

Thankyou everyone for your interesting replies.

i still dont think that parents have the right to demand what we can be called and that we as staff have no right to question but comply!

Anyway ........what can we do?

Florence
in the hebrides

about ten years ago a new head teacher in a school near me change the rule and all teachers was to be called by there first names.
and advencherly the children did loss all respect.

the teachers them self was not happy with being called by there first names
i don't no if that head was sack or just left but she did go.
and the new head insisted that the children want back to calling every one by the surname
afther about 6 month it was like a new school

just glad my children did not go to that school


now haveing work with children my self i do come across some children wanting to call you aunty and i have to keep reminding them
no im not aunty im mrs xxxxx

Ahh Sharron, if you'd have known the teacher's first names, you would have missed out on the fun of trying to find out what they were!!
I believe that is one of the 'bonding' processes in a school.
One child may claim to know - but you have to be sure.

Even when I worked in the same school as my own children, if asked what my name was, they'd reply 'mummy'.

I was always known as 'Mrs .....'. The joy now, having not worked in a school for over 10 years, is when these (now young adults) catch me having a swift smoke in town. I get 'Mrs ... - I didn't know you smoked', to which I reply - 'There are many things you don't - and won't, know about me - but the fun is always in trying to find out'. :-D :-D

Yes maggie, exactly. We are always being warned about being too familiar with children. ie you are not allowed to be friends with any pupils on social networking sites(council rules) and also warned not to give out personel info about yourself except now it's ok for them to be on first name terms with us!

really can't have it both ways can they? but then again....

When i worked in a school a few years ago, one of my children was in a class i was helping out in. i gave them a quick talking to and said"dont you dare call me mum in class, it's mrs**** to you" Dont do favourtism only causes ill feeling.But they understood fine.

Thing is it wont benefit anyone by doing this change and has worked perfectly well for the last 10 years so why change it now?

Anyway thanks again for your comments,

nite nite
Florence
in the hebrides

I think you have to ask yourself would you want your own children to call you by your first name instead of Mum or Dad.
I know I wouldn`t. (no matter how old they get to be) :-D

I didn't have children but I am pretty sure I would not have wanted them to call me anything other than Sharron and made it quite plain when I took on a job as dinner lady at the primary school next door that I would only stay until they found somebody else because I objected to bring called anything other than Sharron.

I didn't want all that bull!

Long live A S Neill!

I think it is a mark of respect to be called Mr, Mrs , Miss etc. Surely most children don't call their parents by their first names.

Two of my grandchildren are at a school where their aunt and uncle teach, at school they are Mr and Mrs ? at home they are auntie and uncle.

Children will respect those who deserve to be respected regardless of what they are made to call them.

I can only remember having any degree of respect for a couple of my teachers and they would have been the ones who could tell the difference between that and fear.

I'd love to know what the Summerhill children are doing now - what sort of employment they go into when they leave etc.

I see it's 'academics' putting their noses in again!
What I found ironic, was, the 'academic' speaking about it on Radio 4 this morning, kept using the term 'Christian' name.
Not being Christened - I haven't got one of those, so they can call me Mrs :-D

Times change. Tends to get overlooked that the parents are the employers and children are customers. If you want respect then you gain it by your approach to life . That's a two way street of course and applies to children too. Reminds me of a recent report that emerged in connection with the Ukraine crisis. A British diplomat based at the British Embassy in Moscow was reprimanded by a Russian policeman for not respecting him. The diplomat replied "but I do respect you" to which the policeman looked puzzled and said "but how can you if you are not frightened of me".