General Chat

Was I wrong Island?

I don't know, it was gut reaction.

Was I sinking to her level?

No Sharron, you were just treating her with the contempt she deserved

You did the right thing Sharron... avoiding engaging in conversation with your unpleasant sounding cousin ... you were true to yourself and to Fred.. I think it was a very dignified decision you made.

Love you Avatar Joeva :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D Thanks LaGooner - let's paint London Red! :-D :-D

and silver ;-) :-D :-D

Sharron, you did what felt right for you.

I don't see how anyone else can blindly tell you how to feel or make a judgement on your relative.
Nobody is all bad.

I'm just saying that I would have spoken to her because there is nothing to be gained by bearing grudges and being negative. I had a lot of negative vibes in my life until a few years ago so I think it would have benefitted me to speak to the estranged rellie and put that negative ghost to rest. You don't have t be new best friends and you can still support her son.

Sharron,
Please don't pull your self apart for that horrible woman

You were so right in what you did, <3 <3 <3 <3

Thanks Island. It is always good to have as many perspectives as possible.

She never thought to acknowledge me at our uncle's funeral so I think she might have been wanting to muscle in on the action, so to speak.

I was glad I was with the son when it happened so that I was showing my solidarity with him rather than have confronted her at his funeral.

I keep feeling remorseful this morning and thinking I should apologize and then I think how remorseful and apologetic she was to that little boy!

I've been off the computer for a couple of days and am just catching up.

Sharron - Please do not let your relation upset you any further. You did what you felt was right. But just now you are a downer after all the work you did both For Fred and For his funeral.
Time is now yours to regroup and gather yourself for what is really a new life and for the fight for your home. This is what the money was for - to help you through this period by giving you a well deserved break. We appreciate that you don't feel ready because of the housing issues. But instead of worrying about others enjoy researching where you could go - it could be fun.

It's hard to work the room at a funeral.

You always end up saying "I didn't get round to speaking to so and so"

I can't pull that one. She heard me telling her son I wasn't going to talk to her.

I am pleased she knew I meant it but she could not understand why.

Sharron, please be kind to yourself and put all this behind you..you did what you thought was right at the time and usually someone's first gut instinct is right.

While you are upsetting yourself she is probably not giving you another thought,so let it go and think lovely positive thoughts about the future..

xxx <3

I am not upsetting myself Stella and you can bet she is smarting.

From what I have read, a lot of narcissistic behaviour is a way of protecting the image they try to project of themselves to hide their own loathsome self-image.

I think I am probably trying to look at what I did.

It was something I had wanted to do since I was forced, as a helpless child myself, to watch her despicable behaviour toward her son.

It was so much better that I was able to be with him when it happened.

In fact, I have released some loathing I have carried within me for over fifty years!

Sharron, you don't have to forgive to forget.

well it is good that you have done that Sharron, but i still think you need to be kind to yourself for a while after all that has happened lately..x

I did it for him and I am glad.

It gave me no pleasure to hurt anybody but I have carried the memory of her wickedness with me for a long time.

As for forgetting. Isn't that what she was hoping for?

Narcissists have a very selective memory. She has probably decided it never happened.

Just thought I would mention that I have spoken to other members of the family who were there and witnessed the event, none of whom went after her to support her I might say, and I get the feeling that I did what they had all wanted to do.

OK Sharron. Whatever. As someone who grew up with guilt thrust upon them I thought we might just have some mutual understanding.
It seems my efforts are disagreeable to you. Tough!