General Chat

Sorry Island.

I think we must just be handling our burden in different ways.

None of your ideas are disagreeable to me and I would very much like to discuss them with you.

There are so many of us carrying these horrible memories and feelings and we each have our own methods of dispelling or living around them. Nothing but good can come from us sharing our perspectives.

I felt that we, as the last few who saw it happening, were showing her son the support he so desperately needed all his life.

I don't have a burden Sharron. When the realisation that I had been suppressed all my life dawned on me, I found my tongue and didn't stop talking for quite a while. I amazed myself at what came out of the archives of my mind.
When I talk of forgetting without forgiving I'm referring to historic actions that cannot be changed and are inexcusable. I buried those incidents for years but finally got 'em out in the open. I can't live with that crap on my shoulders so, with the help of my wonderful fella - who had no clue until the 'floodgate' opened - I've banished horrors from my life ie 'I've forgotten'. They can't touch me now.

It's early days for you, having just lost Fred, but you will get a happy life. Don't let hangers on get to you, enjoy your life now that it is your own.

It seems to me that we have done the exact same thing.

I have had a lot of hypnotherapy which only really loosened the knots a bit but it did enable me to start to confront a lot of the things I had suppressed and to become more tolerant of what I thought were weaknesses in myself which I now realize are just normal human traits.

One thing I realized was that I had never been able to relax, was never allowed to as a child or teenager because everything was my fault and I needed to spend more time and assert more energy to rectify the situation.

It is only in very recent years that I have ever relaxed and can't believe how pleasant it is and how different I feel fordoing so.

My cousin would have made her son feel that way and to have so many more unpleasant emotions.

Monday's event was like we were all supporting him at last and banishing the perpetrator of the evil.

That's great to read Sharron. I was concerned that you might still be under the cloak of oppression.

No,but I am trying to be a super hero.

Now that I have a pretty good understanding of what and why I am trying to turn the negative into a positive to try to save other children from what I and so many others suffered as children.

Sharron I too would not wish other children to suffer the same.

I think you were right to confront her. Took me nearly 60 yrs to confront my mother and then it was only a few incidents - she a) said it was my imagination; b) she denied she had done anything like that, that I had a happy childhood and c) finally admitted I was telling the truth.

We never spoke again. My shoulders were so much lighter.

Sharron - more power to your elbow, Batman!!
I think you did the right thing - in the end it probably won't affect her. She has no feelings for anyone but herself. In her mind you possibly don't exist now, and she'll convince herself she never overheard you!

The important thing is YOU. You made a stand. You decided you really didn't want to talk to her - that is your choice, and you are allowed to make it - without feeling bad.
The fact that you are now feeling bad should make you feel good - you're better than her, and you've proved you're not narcissistic :-D