General Chat

I learnt how to infiltrate such places from my youngest daughter. She was the master of interacting with people from aged two when she joined a play group, with a mother who people ignored for over an hour.. she gave me my courage to say Hi I am this person. I was made secretary of that playcentre and later I put myself up for the committee at the kindergarten. She went on to be on debating teams at primary and high school and then in her work got up there and did presentations.. something I still would not be able to do... but I can get myself noticed.

Of course there is always bribery to fall back on and you take along so home baking.

"Ann" you made me laugh when you said don't take a regular's seat at bingo..

I used to work evenings sometimes in our Chief Post Office and there was just the telegraph and toll counter open and two of us on duty and the caretaker.... those were they days of telegrams... and the floor area was huge, plenty of desks and chairs in rows through out the place. One woman used to come in of a night and bring her typewriter and type a way there.. one night she came in and another woman was sitting where she normally sat... there was empty desks and seats everywhere but hers was taken. These two women had a fist fight over that chair and the caretaker had to come and break them up. We had ring side seats to watch the event.

Maybe a member of the WI who is on GR can tell you (dear Island) about their WI and how it works for them. I do know of people that enjoy it. My mother belonged to league of mothers with the church and later she joined a senior citizens group called "the Cheer Club" .. we wondered for ages what she was doing at a chair club.. it is the way kiwis say Cheer that sounds like chair. Could have been her baking, she was good at that.

I'm here, I'm here. I am sorry to have gone AWOL but a couple of mishaps cropped up :-|
Thank you all for posting, it's been an interesting read. I'm sorry some of you have had upsetting experiences too but I have to say - I'm glad it's not just me!

Yes, I had my card marked at one group as to the pecking order of who gets the comfiest seat. :-0

I'll add more tomorrow as I am past ready for my snooze.

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Ohhhh......I must have nodded off. I was responding to 'tangled up in knitting'

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I first started my family tree thirty odd years ago when I joined a WEA class about the history of our village. There was woman there who had to let it be known that she was a history graduate and I couldn't help wondering why she thought to mention that on a course as basic as that one was, or, indeed, why she should want to attend it at all. Attend she did, adopting the role of uninvited consultant to the archivists who were teaching the course.

I was enthralled with my research and, being made redundant soon after the course started, would be in the record office at every opportunity. She was often there but not keen to chat to me about the course as she was doing something "quite different" and presumably far more important than what I was doing.

The Historical Association was offering a few lectures that looked interesting and they were but the HA does have a pretty good selection of self important old beetles at each meeting. Being particularly important was the woman from the WEA class.

A couple of years later my great aunt Em died and who should be there giving out the prayer books and making sure you knew where to sit.

Then, several years later, cousin Edna died and had her funeral at the same church. She now had herself an sort of trainee, a young man to give out the books while the great woman herself, dressed in a sort of monks robe with a bit of rope around the waist, stood behind the vicar and people reading their eulogies.

:-D :-D :-D :-D oh dear, I should not laugh but I know of someone who is very much like all those "VIP" you all mention. So full of self importance. :-D :-D :-D

I did join a PTA and it was set up from scratch so we were all in the same boat. We are all friends and welcome all the newbys, imprompu meetings at the local are a good way of breaking the ice.


The worse worse place was when i joined a certain diet and exercise class, oh my goodness, it was the most unfriendly place going, full of women who stood intheir cliques until the class started. Needless to say I didnt go for long!

Teresa

It also happens that a few new people join a group & very quickly relegate existing members to the sidelines & make them feel unwanted. This can be as hurtful as not being accepted in the first place.
Why can´t we all play nicely together? :-(

How's knitting going Island me dear :-D

I am not unfriendly I love meeting new people and chatting about all different things. Say for instance on holiday I speak to anyone and everyone sometimes people want to be left alone others dont.

when you get a group anywhere there is always one that tries to take over as group leader which often causes confict with others as with group leaders there is always those are take on the role as sheep and perhaps see a newcomer as a threat to their place in the pack and of course there are always some think I just cant be harsed with this. ;-)

:-D :-D Nope Hayley, I just can't ever imagine you being lost for words. :-D :-D <3

Oh I have just remembered a group I went to where it was not so bad. This was a mixed group and was a friends of a local Art gallery and museum who met once a month for a talk by various people. The talks were really interesting, I went for about 3 years. The people were pleasant and relatively friendly and the atmosphere was welcoming. It was in one town not far from here but I live in the postal area of the other town. The town it was in was much more up market than the other and some of the people there can be really snobby so when asked where I lived the reply was usually 'Oh....!' However it was ok and I only left when they changed the meeting place and the hearing loop system was not so good for me to hear the talks. (it was a mixed group and the snobby people were women).

I attempted to join the WI in about the late '70's I was refused as I was divorced, I don't think this rule applies now. Not to be deterred as I only had one child free night a week I joined Keep Fit, this was in the days of black, long sleeved leotards, bare feet and a lot of waving of scarves. After we went to the pub. That didn't last long I then joined the PTA which I loved and we often ended up in the pub. We put on pantomimes and fetes and all manner of social events to raise money for school funds. From there I became involved in the local Ameteur Dramatic Society which also usually ended up in the pub. Can you see a pattern forming? I hasten to add this was only one night a week.

Moving here was the hardest place to make friends. I didn't speak any Spanish and there is only a small ex pat community, it is still very Canarian here and knowing some Spanish, or knowing someone that does is a must. I was given some advice which turned out to be true. This was " you may find that the friends you make here may not be the sort of friends you would have chosen in the UK as there is a much smaller group to chose from. Finding someone with the same interests, sense of humour etc won't be so easy. " I went to Spanish lessons and although still not fluent I can hold a conversation and now have English and Canarian friends

I enjoy conversations with both men and women and have always worked and interacted with both. This was easy when my husband was alive and nobody took any notice but now I sometimes feel that as I'm on my own some wives are a little suspicious of my motives when I engage in conversation with their husbands. One lady as good as told me that her husband was off limits although she made a joke of it her message was quite clear. Someone's else's husband is the last thing on my mind and if that had have been my plan her husband would have been the bottom of my list!

My friend in the UK belongs to a little group that meet one afternoon a week. It is called Knit and Natter. They have tea, coffee and biscuits and catch up on the local gossip. They pay a small fee each week which goes to charity and some of the things they make are sold for charity or sent to third world countries for. children and babies

Lol Wendy, not worried honestly!!!!

:-D :-D :-D I know Ann and I'm very grateful to T's help when you are both here. Oh .... and his conversation. See you soon x

You lot have some great anecdotes!

Poor Prickles! I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be your new best friend :-0 :-D

Chris - the dogs mother! :-0 :-0 Our dog was referred to by all in the community as his name plus our surname, so I guess I was the dogs sister!

TS - I was ahead of you in your post, as soon as I read 'I was refused as I was divorced' I thought they saw you as a husband thief :-0 "I'm divorced not desperate" springs to mind LOL

Growing up we were a cut above dontcha know ( :-S ) and shy :-( so mixing with the hoy poloy was a a big no no. This didn't make socialising very easy and I did find it quite a struggle - but I have never been a quitter.
Since moving to an altogether friendlier place I set off to the local 'knit and natter'. After a cautious start the ice was soon broken and it wasn't long before I became 'one of the girls'. No topic of conversation is taboo, we have a good laugh and I even dare to tell the odd norty story. Mother would be horrified :-D :-D :-D

I'm not sure about joining a genealogy group yet ;-) :-D

We used to have the knit and natter group meet in our garden centre cafe. I was completely put off by how as soon as one of them went out of the room the rest all put their heads together whispering knowingly and, as soon as she came back in the door they started a completely different conversation (no we couldn't hear what was said but body language says a lot!)

I worked at a place like that Ann......I was always in hot water for sticking up for the person who had left the room....If they can do it to them, I thought, they could do it to me.......I didn't care if I liked the person or not.....It wasn't on as far as I was concerned......Needless to say....I didn't stop long :-D

No bitchin' with the stichin' at our group Ann :-D

Glad to hear it Island :-D

susan, even worse if that happens at work as you are there all day every day.

Not if you leave Ann :-D


Sheesh I could tell you some stories about the workforce and the wonderful, not, people I have met over the years......but alas they may be looking in and I would like to live just that little bit longer :-D

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Just got back from my weekly psychiatric appointment.

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