General Chat

Jan has just phone up and DFDS Seaways it will cost 795 euros the chap said and Jan ask how much in English money he said 600 that's with the cabin for disabled,but its coming back on the 18 ,

Just a thought ...
have you looked into respite homes. Don´t know what they are like in the UK but the home Mum was in for awhile in Spain was "top notch" as it was Dutch owned and run, they had many disabled holiday makers stay with them for a week or so. These were "flats" rather than rooms and not cheap but full care and meals was included.

The other thought is although Premier Inn is usually the cheapest when I went to Sheffield in May Ibis budget hotels worked out cheaper.

Good Luck in your search ..and I shall think of you on your anniversary as it´s mine on the 26th also

xx

Penny thank you last year we went and me forgot and paid one way which was 366 something ,and we had to pay the same going back ,to be onsend we realy cant afford this but I have to see my family I know its abit stupit but they cant afford to come to me ,and one of my older sons is sick and I cant get in touch with and I ring every one of the family and it costs me to mutch,I know I should,nt worry but I miss my family ,my oldest son if I see him he will give me money for my birthday so that's ok ,sorry to borther you all just waiting for thr cleaner and the nurse

Joyce, please look again at what you are paying for the ferry crossing, £700 is way over the top ,

Hook of Holland to Harwich is something like £50, (nowhere near £700! ) which gives you back most of your budget for accommodation

What Joyce is saying is that one granddaughter who she helped raise, is going to visit with her family after Joyce's trip here. It will be lovely for Joyce to show her and the grandchildren off to Jan's family and her friends and they will spend time with Joyce so she won't be so lonely for a little while.

The hospital told Joyce they can't operate on her to help her pain as she had the stroke recently and won't be able to take an anaesthetic.

Joyce likes to be in control of bookings and such and her family members are busy and don't always know what she would like best so it's better that she tries to do it herself with Jan's help.

All families act differently under pressures of ill health and distance etc but nothing will change them now so best for Joyce to just get on with things as well as she can and get her little fix of England for this year.

Lizx

Thank you for all your thoughts im only child and both my mum and dad have been long pass away ,I of my granddaughters is coming over on the 19 next month,her sister she is young also have children 3yrs and 7month baby she did not want me to come over,but there my grandchildren and I have to see them I get all my tablets to take withme from the chemist,but I will be in wheel chair everywere we go ,but one of my gransons who Liz knows he is could,nt but I cant say why but 2 sons don't take to me ,the oldest two one is not well and other one is working and I cant remember things since I had the stroke and ive got brain damage but its just I cant remember things ,but im getting there its so longle he no one speaks English but they do say hello,went the hospital this week for operation but have the test they cant do it as I have to be put asleep and I have blood in my head,so I said ok , just have to take thinks slow hope you can unstain my writing as it dos,nt come out writ sometimes

Errol in response to your comment aimed at me presumably

"Who are we to say what a person can or cannot do? Each and every family and individual is different and does things in different ways and I respect that."

I don't respect family who let their sick elderly parents worry themselves over booking a holiday to go and visit them. I don't respect anyone who lets others struggle needlessly.

Liz..............I don't know all the ins and outs of fellow members lives and circumstances, but Joyce's family, rich or poor can at least make a phone call or go online to help with bookings can't they ??

*stomps off, slamming the door behind me*

I spoke with Joyce this morning.

Those of us who know her well, know how housebound she is because of lack of transport etc in the village she lives in and her heatlh problems do cause difficulties. Just once a year Joyce likes to get back to England to see her friends, old and new, and as many family members as she can, she has a largish family who just don't have the money to travel to her and pay accommodation etc, and she hasn't the room to put them up. Her granddaughters have young children and their own problems and really the break over here helps Joyce's mental health more than visits from her family would, as she gets a change of scenery and more chance to speak English and relax. Jan isn't well but can cope for the time they visit to help Joyce with her mobility problems which the nurses usually do for her. It gets him away from home and his village for a while too.

I know it would be great if her family could be visiting sometimes too, and if her visit could be longer it would less stressful but Joyce will make the most of the time she has her and it gives her more to remember when she is back at home during the winter months and makes sure she doesn't lose touch with her English roots..

We all do things differently when it comes to family, and I know what you mean about doing everything you can for elderly parents - I did myself but my parents were in the same city. At the time of their need I wouldn't have been in a position to travel to another country to visit them much as I would have wanted to.and the money Joyce's trip will cost wouldn't go far among her tribe anyway lol as there are so many of them.

I am sure Joyce will find somewhere suitable to lay her head and Jan's and the efforts you have made to help are appreciated, I know.

Just hope the weather will be good around that time so travelling will be as easy and pleasant as possible. We might have a week in the area before hand as o.h. has some holiday time to use and that week from the 2nd is available so I am looking for a cottage or something around the Rotherham area so we can visit some other places and have a change of scene ourselves and travel home after we have seen Joyce and Jan on the Sunday. I will have a look at the site you mention Errol, thanks for the help and support for Joyce.

My o.h. isn't very keen on flying these days so not sure I can get him abroad again but will try so the rest of his holiday time can be spent in more guaranteed sunshine which wil make me happy and improve my fm. He enjoys the change of scene and food etc when he gets abroad, he just hates the flying especially since that plane disappeared.

Lizx

I'd have to echo what Lynda said also.

'Children' sometimes forget ( or would rather not believe) that their parent is actually NOT who they used to be, strength wise, not the coper who picked you up when you fell, not the strong 'adult' who sorted everything when you needed them, not the shoulder to cry on any more ( though of course we do do that)

Sometimes it does a dis-service to the child I think, my friend's daughter was shocked into action finally by seeing her mum in hospital at 'death's door' ( she recovered!) and no longer took for granted that mum would 'always be there' when needed.

But I digress, Dutch, if you are travelling around as per what you have said above, you may well be lucky with Premier Inn, you might find the best rates are at the 'out of town' ones that don't get the tourists so much. Liverpool Moorfields Premier inn is usually cheaper than the Albert Dock one for instance especially when it's not weekend.

On the issue of visitors to England from the EU/EEA, being covered for treatment on the NHS, this link gives some details:-

http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/uk-visitors/Pages/visitors-from-the-eu-eea.aspx

Good for you Lynda

I probably need to highlight a few of the words I posted, as some people appear not to have read them...

"I'm probably not understanding your situation completely Joyce"

"It's obviously not for me,or anyone else to tell you what to do"

"Sorry if this sounds harsh Joyce, but if you carry on doing all the arrangements and travelling, your health cannot improve"

"Maybe another option is, as you can both afford to travel to England, then why not send the fare for a family member to come to you, that way it's less expense and you haven't the worry of traveling"

Funny how some people like to try to add that you are implying something you're not.

For the record I'm not TELLING Joyce anything, just offering some advice, of MY experience, she can take the advice it or leave it.

Those who know about my aged BIL who is now 86 and still travels the world with his health problems with careful management BUT his travel insurance is HUGE. 6 weeks in USA starting this month is £1100 and he cannot get a 12 month policy :-(

I assume Dutch you are covered via the EU programme but IF you were taken ill in the UK (god forbid) the additional expenses would be enormous for Jan.

Who are we to say what a person can or cannot do? Each and every family and individual is different and does things in different ways and I respect that.

Good on you Joyce - I hope you find a good place to stay and have a great time with your family.

You might find this useful...

http://www.iknow-yorkshire.co.uk/yorkshire_dales/all_yorkshire_dales/all_prices/all_types/disabled_access/

If you look at laterooms.com, trivago.co.uk etc etc you can search on most of these sites for accommodation which caters for disabled guests or people who use a wheelchair.

Thought I'd also add, seeing as your post is about travel, that my Dad was in a residential home in Spain, he was unable to travel so we could bring him home, so every 3 weeks I'd visit him, sometimes just for a couple of days, yes it was difficult, and expensive, but that didn't come into it, he was my Dad.

Maybe another option is, as you can both afford to travel to England, then why not send the fare for a family member to come to you, that way it's less expense and you haven't the worry of traveling?

Just a thought :-D

What Lynda said :-D :-D

I'm probably not understanding your situation completely Joyce, but as I read it, you are saying that you can't get out of bed, unless nurses help you, you can't get upstairs, yet you are coming to England by boat?

If that is what you are saying, then how can you be expected to travel around, visiting everyone when you are in England, surely you aren't fit enough for all that travelling? I have seen your posts before Joyce, and you and Jan don't sound in the best of health.

It's obviously not for me,or anyone else to tell you what to do, but if you were my Mum, Nan Great Grandmother, or friend, I'd tell you to stay where you are, and I'd visit you, at least until you are both stronger.

My Mother was housebound for over a year, in that year I gave up work, and made sure I was always available for any help that she needed, and on the odd occasion that I wasn't around, other family and friends were.

Sometimes Joyce, we have to say enough is enough, and our family, if we have them, which you seem to have in abundance, need to take over and help out.

Sorry if this sounds harsh Joyce, but if you carry on doing all the arrangements and travelling, your health cannot improve.

Tell your family to take some of your strain, you cannot keep worrying about them, it's there turn to worry about you.

Don't worry about the email Joyce, there does come a time when we children have to kind of swap roles................my parents loved and cared for and about us all their lives.

When their health took a bad turn, 3 weeks in Dad's case and almost 10 years in Mum's, I did my utmost to put their needs ahead of mine while still loving and caring for and about our own children and grandchildren.

I am no superhero, just a very lucky person who was able to partly repay the huge amount of time and energy Mum and Dad gave to me when they were alive and well.

It may be unfair of me, but I get slightly peeved when elderly or infirm parents appear to be left to struggle when they have relatives who could, sometimes, do a bit more to help.

Take care <3

thanks Kitty now cant tell you on here why but can email you xxx

All I can say is if I were lucky enough to still have my Mum I would do all the arranging for her to take the stress off as far as possible and knowing the dates of her birthday and anniversary would have planned ahead to have time off work.

I think you need to delegate the booking of places Joyce, you don't need the worry, neither does Jan as he was so poorly not long ago :-(

Can't his mother make other arrangements for shopping and work to give you a longer holiday.............you both need one!

I hope it is all sorted soon for you both, take care. <3